Friday, April 13, 2007

Surprise Me!

I changed my tagline to say *surprise me!* on my match profile about a month ago. I've gotten a few emails from guys titled *Surprise!* soon after. Ummm...yea...that wasn't what I was going for. But strangely enough...I have been surprised in the most unexpected way. By talking to and meeting someone who actually does what they say they will do. Us girls know that's very rare indeed! We are confronted with a lot of hot air but no lift off. This coming Wednesday will make the one month mark of the day we met. He probably doesn't realize that but me reaching the one month mark in any dating scenario tends to be a big deal since I rarely ever get through the second date nowadays. Of course, in one month, we've only been on 5 dates because of his travel schedule. I kind of like that though. I have my space, we aren't in the throes of spending every available minute together...I like that. Personal space and time are huge things for me.

I'm, of course, unsure and hesitant about this match. But would I be Valerie if I wasn't?! Yea...exactly. Dating brings about the neuroses that I do a pretty good job of hiding but *T* is a really good guy. He's funny, sweet, manages to say all the right things, is a city kid like me and we have the same parental dynamic and are anti-kid. It's works. I kind of like that he calls me all sorts of pet names already like adorable, gorgeous, baby and beautiful. Of course, I'm not ready to create pet names to say back at him. He calls me smart-ass and a brat too. I like those names as well. I'll accept what I'm good at and I excel at those. It seems too soon for pet names though. I like it but at the same weirds me out a little. Not enough to trigger my run reflex though.

He's a pretty good looking guy. A traditional irish guy. Seems like I attract a lot of them. He's tall which is huge for me. Tall girls need tall guys. He's got the most amazing green/blue eyes and a voice that makes me smile each time I hear it. He's got a few extra pounds on him that he manages to hide well with his commanding appearance. At 6'1", that's pretty easy to do! His only negative is the inherited receding hairline he's experiencing at a mere 37 years of age. So far, things have been fun.

But it's nice to have been surprised for once instead of disappointed. I plan on riding things out and seeing where things go with *T*. He's on another business trip now so I won't be seeing him for another week. But then, I'm off to a business trip of my own too. We're both busy, busy city kids!

More stories to follow on *T*.

Disappearing Acts

Everybody's doing a disappearing act.

I am...

My friends are...

The older we get, the busier we've all become.

I'd like to think that I try to be a good friend. I know I'm hard to get a hold of...especially now. I'm busy at work and don't really use the computer at night anymore. I hate the phone and have less time to email. But it's not as though people give me a hard time about dropping off either. But I have gotten annoyed.

A friend of mine called me after 3 years of not talking and acted like we just talked yesterday. If he hasn't been a part of my life for three years and I've been fine with it, why would I take him back? I told him that much which resulted into a little match of *you this and me that*. I don't need that crap in my life. I need it as drama-free as possible hence that friendship is not going to blossom again. I don't like headgames from guys I date, let alone people I call friends and let into my life.

I haven't spoken to another friend since October. I've emailed. I've called. Repeatedly! I'm sick of it. Frankly, I'm left to think I was used for a free place to stay for a west coast visit. I'm a little sad...I thought she was a great friend and someone I could confide all my neurotic dating/sex stories with. Who understood me and was a lot of fun to talk to. But apparently the new boyfriend takes precedance over any friends and I misunderstood. Actually, I'm a lot sad about that loss.

Another walked back into my life after four years. Considering the embarrassing pretense under which I met him again, I couldn't very well make a fit but I'm glad he's back and we're making a real effort at sticking with being in each other's lives right now. He's a good guy.

The friend I've known for over 20 years is in the midst of a separation/divorce and she's out shagging miscellaneous men and I don't feel like I really know her anymore. It's strange but I get that this is her selfish phase. Her *go out and live life*. But does she really have to cast aside the people she's known for practically forever?

It's only April. So far....lots of disappearing. There was a little reappearing but for the most part...people are dropping off like flies and it makes me a little sad.

Me...I'm back. I may not be back very often but I'm here and I'll blog little by little.

It's a Small World After All

It’s amazing how small the world, or shall I say the Bay Area is! I never thought that living in the city. I didn’t run into people I knew on the street very often and I felt a sense of being anonymous if I wanted to be. That suited me wonderfully when I started off on Match. All my close friends knew I was on this crazy online dating site and were entertained by the weird an obscure stories. I never worried about having to come face to face with an anonymous match guy in real life unless I actually wanted to meet them. But that sense of anonymity disappeared when I moved to the Peninsula. All of the Peninsula is about the same population as the city itself but the Peninsula covers more miles. You’d think that it would be more anonymous down here than in the city!

Since moving to sunny suburbia, I’ve ran into match guys just minding my own business…obviously unplanned and unexpected. The mattress store guy was a little awkward. I just wanted to take care of my mattress problem not see or deal with this guy who winked at me and I ignored.

I also didn’t want to see the guy I told was boring because all he talked about was cooking. Really…like a girl needs a play-by-play of how heirloom tomatoes are made, especially when said girl subsists on salads, sandwiches and other assorted easy to make items. Obviously…if making heirloom tomatoes requires more than four ingredients and fifteen minutes to make…I’m not interested! But, I, of course, run into said boring cook at the Symphony. My friend was probably laughing at how I was trying to make myself appear unnoticeable so I wouldn’t have to actually talk to the boring cook guy. Geez, can’t a girl just enjoy the Symphony without running into random people that she borderline insulted?! Ummm…yea?!

So the topper to the *running into anonymous Match guys in real-life* dilemma occurred about two months ago. Hellow!! So behind on the blogging! But about two months ago, I had a meeting with some of the guys at the station. And the alarm rang...they had to go to a call but I wasn't done with my portion of the meeting. So they asked me to come along and that when they were done with the call, we would regroup. on the engine...this could be fun! And is was. The call was a huge waste of's completely amazing how stupid people can be. Did someone really need to tell this lady that if she's got a cast on her right foot, she probably shouldn't drive?! I mean, that's pretty common sense to me! While everyone was busy with first aid, report taking and picture taking...I hung back and just watched...and then I noticed two motorcycle cops drive up. And as I watch them join the mass amount of people helping the incredibly stupid woman, I get that funny feeling about one of the cops. Do I know him from somewhere? He looks awfully familiar? you see where this is going? Exactly?! He looks awfully that guy on Match. Weird! couldn't be. So I ask one of the guys if he knows the cops name and then goes into these obscene little rant about how I must think the cop is hot and how I want to see him in nothing but his gun belts and boots. OK...the boots are cool but I don't really want to see the guy naked. I just want to know his name to fulfill my curiousity! And I finally get close enough to read the namebadge and I'm convinced it's the match guy. That match guy that blew me off twice and had the nerve to contact me a third time and whom I consequently blew off in return. Sweet revenge! I confirmed his identity by asking a friend of mine who happens to be a co-worker of his and when I determined it was him, I was so annoyed that he wasn't upfront in the first place, that I confronted him in email. I went off about how he should be careful who he blows off because you never know when you'll run into them in real life. Apparently, he didn't recognize me at the call and I had to explain the whole thing to him. Stupid...stupid! And after all that, he still had the nerve to ask me out...again! Stupid!

So needless to say, I'm pretty wary about online dating now if I'm going to be running into these guys in real life when I least suspect it. I like going about my business without being worried when the next weird match guy is going to jump around the corner! You just don't think about how small the world really is because when you look at a sure does look really, really big. But you know what? It's not big at all.