Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Dating Woes

Dating sucks...

I feel like I've hit this brick wall in dating. Same guys, same profiles, same everything. I'm bored. I'm not intrigued at all.

What is up with one line emails? *Hi, How are you?* What kind of a conversation starter is that? Is that really the best that someone can come up with? Because when I get one of those, it's all I can do to not reply *Fine* and hit the send button and see how the guy can build another email off of that. *Hi, my name is ****, what's yours?* Oh dear gawd, just shoot me. Creativity isn't that hard. Pick something and run with it...be sure it's mentioned in the other person's profile.

I know I need a break from dating but I don't know how to. I've been going at a steady clip since February...8 months. Now I'm used to filling my day with profile reading, emails and occasional dates that it seems weird if I'm not. I don't really know how to stop. It'd be easier if I had friends to hang out with but my friends are becoming fewer and far between...married couples, out of town, work-obsessed.

So I'm back to trying more *me* things. I've hit the library and checked out a couple of books. I've taken up yoga which is good...when the guilt of being lazy actually gets me to the class. I've been stitching more and actually have a couple of projects at the framers. And I've been taking advantage of my Netflix membership. You know that The Sopranos is pretty good...I'm up to Season Two, disc three! So I'm getting the me stuff covered but I'm still trying to figure out how to get out there to meet people and have fun...guys and girls...alike to expand my circle of friends. I still haven't figured that out. Where is a non-sporty chick supposed to meet cool people?! Everything I enjoy is fairly girl-centric yet I always end up meeting older women versus girls my age.

So with the problems with dating and the difficulty meeting new friends, I'm feeling a bit in a downward turn.

Friday, October 05, 2007

If it's Casual Encounters that You're Looking For...

Look on fucking Craiglist! They have a section specific to it and everything there...and it's free. Why try to score when spending $30 a month for Match. Match is a dating website...not Adult Friendfinder. If you want to spend the money to find a hook-up, go there.

Hey, I understand that people meet at a bar, hit it off and head to the guy/girl's place and do the horizontal mambo. For the most part, the next morning is filled with confusion, regret or the mere elation of scoring and not really caring about the other person. That's not what I'm looking for. If I was, I'd hang out at bars more often and wouldn't mind the guys and their beer goggles hitting on me. Instead, I invest the time and money on Match to see if I can meet up with that one great guy. You know, the cute, geeky guy who loves movies, music, art, culture, sarcasm, going out and truly wants to get to know me. Frankly, I'm starting to think it's a waste of money because I'm not finding what I want on there and you have to admit that I'm pretty much just looking for a well-rounded guy. Not a hot model-like studmuffin who makes at least six figures and drives a sports car. I could care less about that crap. I just care about meeting a genuine person.

I've been on a lot of dates. A LOT. I've lost count and can't even fricking remember how long I've been on the site now but heck if I go the way of eHarmony. Dear Gawd...how scary is that?! But despite the number of dates I've been on, a guy's never made me feel like a piece of meat before...until a week ago. It's amazing the things a guy will say to get laid...or at least make sure the girl was heading in that direction. The *I'm looking for the one girl so make a life with...get married, make a home and have a couple of kids* is a good one because once girls get into their 30's their clock is ticking. Mine isn't...not in terms of marriage and kids. I'd just like to meet the nice guy to have events and places to go with who treats me well and if things head down the aisle and to a mortgage...than fine by me. The squeezing crying babies from my loins is another thing. I'd really have to find a true catch for me to go down that road. My body may never recover!

So I met a cute, Irish guy who said the above to me on a first date. Seemed like a strange comment to make but considering the *baggage* this guy seemed to have, not completely surprising. He seemed a little damaged...by his own doing...crazy girls and lots of booze. He quit the booze and with the line he played, I figured he realized that the crazy mental pill-popping girls were no longer the route to go. The first date was nice...flowers, dinner, tea and a walk. He seemed like a chivalrous guy. But things were a little different on the second date...not ready on time, dressed like crap, strangely concerned that the tub had to be clean, invited a friend to come over to borrow something and sat to have a chat with him and our date started 45 minutes late. Since we ran late, there went the notion of dinner at a nice, casual place and we had to eat at a sketchy taqueria. Sketchy taqueria is not my idea of a nice date place. Actually me being dressed in nice jeans, heels and a top when my date is dressed in a tee-shirt and shorts is not my idea of cool either. That would have been fine for a daytime date where we were just bumming around or checking out some street festival...not for a dinner and movie date. Guys are really stupid! So we eat and I didn't die since I'm obviously alive to type this and we head to the movie which was the only bright spot in the whole evening. We saw *Once* which was a cute, heartfelt movie. It wasn't Oscar material by any standards but it was a nice story and the music was fun and catchy. So after the movie, we head back to his place and he convinces me to come up for just a bit and I do...only to get pounced.

Let's get this straight. I don't care if a guy is hot, I probably won't sleep with him before the second date unless the chemistry is so fricking amazing that well, I just can't help it. Frankly, the 13 years of catholic schooling usually kicks in. If a guy hasn't even held my hand, I definitely am not going to sleep with him. So 2 strike for Irish Boy and Strike 3 for just plain being stupid. Really...what is it? A guy doesn't hold my hand but he'll want to fuck me?! That's basically what it is. He doesn't know me from Jane. But the fact of the matter is that I do not appreciate being talked into heading into someone's apartment to *talk* and get jumped and made to feel like it's ok or that I encouraged it. I'm not that hard pressed to get laid. Frankly, if I wanted to get laid by a stranger, I'd head to the bar. As it is, I like to know the people I am with which is why I have an *arrangement*. That works perfect for me.

So Irish Boy...if you want a meaningless lay...just use Craiglist and leave the nice girls on Match alone.