Friday, April 28, 2006


It's been two weeks already?! Where does the time go?!

I got stories..and stories...and more stories. I just need to try and sit down to type them all!

I hope you all have a sunny fabulous weekend! Here is to no more rain...Yay!!

Friday, April 14, 2006

Dear Neighbor...

I’m the new girl who lives above you. I’m a pretty good neighbor. I don’t throw parties, I try to take off my high-heeled shoes when I get home so I don’t clunck around the apartment and stomp all around your head. I haven’t been playing music or movies loud since I’ve barely been home. Yes, there’s the occasional Cash or Buble singing moment but they are legends in their own time and I have a pretty decent singing voice so you are getting entertained for free!

You’re a pretty decent neighbor. I don’t hear *much* noise. But I don’t care what the landlord says, I *know* they haven’t insulated the ceiling between our apartments. I can hear the mumbling of voices. I can hear your wife or girlfriend’s laugh, which is kinda high-pitched. I also can hear when she slams the frigging door to the apartment and yells at you in the hallway. Hellow!! The hallway is communal…you want to quiet it down over there?! Jeez…all I want in life is that’s so much to ask. Especially at night! Thank god I’m not hearing you guys go at it because frankly, I can’t even deal with that stuff.

But what drives me close to insane is the snoring. Dude...really...go to a sleep clinic. Your snoring wakes *me* up. I sleep in a different apartment and hear you! And even though the high-pitched laughing, yelling at you girlfriend/wife annoys me...I feel bad for her being stuck sleeping with you. You must be hot or something...or she must be a very deep sleeper. But unfortunately, I'm stuck being a light sleeper now...and your snoring wakes me up! It makes me very cranky and tired on those mornings that I wake up wondering what woke me up and then listen carefully and hear the low but constant rumbling coming from your apartment. Grrrr!! Stop snoring! I'm sleep deprived because of you!

Would it be ok to slip a sleep clinic brochure and the bill for my earplugs under your door?? *sigh*

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Confessions of a Commitment-Phobe

Hello…my name is Valerie and I am a commitment-phobe.

And the sad truth is that I so am! I know this…I realize it…I can’t help it! I have the strongest “get out and run” reflex this side of the Mississippi. And I always have. I have no idea what my issue is! I have a very strong independent streak. I am stubborn. I am picky. I know what I want…sometimes. But when it comes to men…I freak out, get nervous and stressed out and it just becomes easier for me to leave than figure out what is making me feel the way I feel.

So I recently met a guy who is the guy in my head. I’m not sure if that makes sense. But I think everyone goes around with the image of the guy they see themselves with. I realize that in life, that doesn’t always happen. So *the guy* is tall, has dark features, has the absurdedly coveted goatee, is attractive, smart, funny and an all around good guy. So what is the problem? There isn’t really anything wrong with him at all. Not at all! And if I had to really think about why things could be a total bust…the only things that come to mind are that he isn’t as bold or aggressive as I am used to and that he lives farther than I would like. Considering that we’ve only been on four dates, that isn’t really a deal breaker. He can be shy. He can be very respectful and over analyzing what I mean by “going slow” from my match profile.

The other day, I called my dear friend to kind of get her point of view. Of course, I never come out and just say it. I ask her how she ended up meeting her husband and how things were in the beginning, etc. before I go into details of *the guy*.

She stops and asks me “So, what excuse are you coming up with now?”

Me: What do you mean?

Her: C’mon Valerie, you are such a commitment-phobe. What’s wrong with *the guy*?

Me: Start laughing hysterically in the middle of grocery store (I may be banned from TJ’s now for being a crazy person!) Well, nothing really is wrong with *the guy*. He’s nice and sweet and gives me my space and is really understanding but he isn’t very aggressive and he lives kinda far and it seems like a drag.

Her: Some people have weekend relationships and he’s just shy. Reee-lllaaaaxx! Have fun with it.

Me: Yea, yea…you’re right. What’s wrong with me? How come I always freak out? He’s a nice guy. He’s *the guy* in my head. People look at his picture and know why I’m with him. Why am I so friggin’ phobic!?

I am totally phobic. I realize this and it frustrates me. I am scared of many things. I am scared of losing my personal time. I am scared of having to answer to someone else. I am scared of letting my guard down enough to be completely taken over by someone. I am scared of giving my heart to another and having it stomped to bits. I am scared of falling in love and I am scared of someone falling in love with me. I completely and totally am scared of all of this and probably more. Do I have reason to be scared…yes…but not to the point of being this completely phobic that I am about to run away from *the guy* who fits the *hot guy with geeky qualities* that I have been looking for everywhere! I thought he didn’t exist but he does!

So I am going to take a step back, take a deep breath and RE-LAX and just see where things take me.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Please Stop Raining!!

Ugh...people can only take so much rain! Is this what the folks in Seattle go through? Now what they say about the insane amount of rain and depression and it being the state with the highest rate of suicide totally makes sense! I cannot take anymore rain!!

And of course, when the sun finally pokes through...I am sick and can't go out since I can barely walk three blocks without having the insane desire to pass out on the sidewalk. Yea...that'd be great! Can you imagine? And if something like that ever happened to me, the guys at work would hear about it and I'd never live it down.

It rained 25 days in March and we're probably going onto 5 days for April. Never do I remember as much rain in the Bay Area as this year.

It's spring! I want to go out and take a stroll in the crisp air, be excited about going to the park over the weekend, go to the outdoor festivals on a sunny Saturday and have all of the outdoors at my use without worrying about whether or not I have an umbrella, if I am wearing the right shoes or getting raindrops on my glasses. Ohhhh...I hate raindrops on my glasses. Because not only am I wet and cold...I'm also blind. Damn rain!! Give me a break!

Please, please stop the raining!!