Monday, December 31, 2007

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Goals for 2008!

It's that time of year to think about the things that I'd like to accomplish or get to in the new year. So here is my brainstorming:

Personal

~Lose the pesky 10-15 pounds I've been talking about losing for the past two years
~Be diligent about doing my balance ball core exercises on non-workout days
~Do three workouts a week (yoga covers two of the workouts when it's in session)
~Clean my apartment! Deep cleaning top to bottom with many donations to Goodwill planned.
~Be out of debt in 2008!
~Put myself *out there* in a non-dating social atmosphere (social/new friends groups)

Stitching

~Sweet Dreams Stocking - Dimensions (Carryover from 2007)
~Fairy Moon - Mirabilia
~Thanksgiving Fairy - Mirabilia
~Titania, Queen of the Fairies - Mirabilia
~Halloween House - Lilybet Designs
~In the Tall Flowers Sampler - Liberty Street Designs
~Retro Kitchen Aprons - Needle Treasures
+ at least four stitching exchanges

The stitching goals are pretty adventurous for me as I usually only complete about 4 medium size projects a year. Work, family, friends and dating usually keeps me so busy that its rare to find the time to stitch in the evenings/weekends. I usually have to proclaim *dating bans* on myself to find the time to stitch, read, catch up on movies and just plain relax. But since dating has been exponentially frustrating in 2007, I don't really see myself making a huge effort to put myself out there other than to have the occasional date now and again.

There would probably be more projects on my list if I had the charts for them already but I already have the charts, supplies and fabric for the projects listed above. The top four I'd want to finish are Sweet Dreams, Fairy Moon, Halloween House and In the Tall Flowers. We'll see how well I do.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Busier than I Expected...

Wow! I thought that time would free up once the department's holiday party passed but I forgot about all the little things like finding gifts for the co-workers in my office, the holiday dinner for support staff and the christmas open house that a co-worker throws every year. These are more manageable parties for me to attend since they are low-key and no one really expects me to bring a significant other. So between my yoga class and holiday stuff, the week is busier than I expected. I had grand notions about cleaning and organizing my apartment...about finally finishing the christmas tree portion on the *Sweet Dreams* stocking and sharing a picture...about finally putting some songs on the iPod shuffle I bought months ago. But none of that has happened in the past week.


I think I realized that cleaning and organizing my apartment is a much bigger task than I originally thought. Not that it's disastrous or anything. I don't want to give people the impression that I live in the ultimate pigsty or anything. It's relatively organized and I can find things but it needs a good dusting and vacuuming for one. I also need to get the closets cleaned out for a hefty trip to Goodwill. It's amazing how fast things accumulate! I have lots of old and outdated clothes to get rid of plus knick knacks I thought I'd put up in my new apartment. But now that my new apartment is two years old, it's time to admit that my junk may end up being another person's treasure. It just needs to be put out there! Oh, and don't even get me started on the office...does anyone have *caution* tape?! So I'll put the goal to have the apartment cleaned, de-cluttered and organized at the end of January.

I am hoping to have a blog-worthy picture of *Sweet Dreams* by next week, especially as my Sugar Maple Fabric for Fairy Moon is in the mail. Yay! I really hope that this color works. The other color I had, whereas beautiful, was a little too light and the clouds and beading would get lost in the fabric. So, I'm eager to get started on that as well as what to stitch for my scissor fob exchange. I decided to join a stitching exchange group, Hooked on Exchanging, and the deadline to make, finish and ship a scissor fob to your assigned person is the end of January. I'm excited! A little nervous but excited! I've never made a scissor fob let alone finished one. But I know I can do it...I have the resources and everything! So I'm hoping that this will start a friendship with a lot of stiching bloggers and maybe do 4 exchanges in 2008. If I can do 4 exchanges and 4 projects next year, I'll be ecstatic!

Friday, December 14, 2007

Cherry Mistmas!

Thanks to AM for sending me this Christmas email. I can't resist sharing! It's just too funny and I was actually asked if I was laughing or crying by my coworkers as I was trying to stifle my laughter. I guess this is one way to deal with my *Scroog-ette* mode.

Tequila Christmas Cake

1 cup water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality. (I already sampled it.....several times to check the quality)

Take a large bowl, check the tequila again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point its best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup...just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.

Check the tequila.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.

CHERRY MISTMAS!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Scroog-ette

The holiday season is here and I cannot wait for it to be over. Strangely this is the first year that I have felt such a high level of *bah-humbug*. The feeling is surprising since I'm usually the first one to finish her christmas shopping, send out christmas cards and bust out the fiber optic christmas tree with lights and hang up the stockings but this year...I'm just not feeling it. I managed to put out the fairies and the *Fat Santa* pillow from last year but I should also admit that I still have my Halloween decorations out. Yep, it's December and I still have Halloween stuff up. Where does the time go?!

I did manage to finish my christmas shopping...by buying a crapload of gift cards. It's a good thing family doesn't read this as the secret would be out. I usually relish in trying to find the perfect gift and wrapping presents and making sure that they get to their destination well before the holiday so they can look pretty under the tree but family is rarely ever cooperative. So gift cards it is.

I did already go to the christmas party at work and that was a lot of fun. It was nice to see everyone out of uniform and dressed up for a nice party. A coworker and I decided to go together since we're both single and we were curious about the party but seeing all the guys there with their wives made me feel a little melancholy about my single status and that I'm always single during the holidays. It would have been nice to go to the christmas party with a special someone. That ties into New Years' Eve as well. Most of my close friends are married, in relationships or live far away. I like going out and painting the town red on NYE but it's hard to do that when you're constantly by yourself. Brian Setzer Orchestra and Cake are both playing on or close to NYE and I love both groups and would love to go out and see them play and ring in the new year. Not so much fun doing it alone though. This is another occasion where a special someone would come in handy...or having more single friends.

So I guess it's time to think about involving myself a little bit more...sports, Team in Training, 30-something social groups, church (gah! Did I just say that?!). Anyways, you get my drift. But that's something I'll need to brainstorm as a goal for 2008.

In the meantime, I'll continue my Scroog-ette mode unless something snaps me out of it. You never know...

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Sweet Dreams...

My current cross stitch project right now is the *Sweet Dreams Stocking* by Dimensions. I figured it might be a cute and fun project to work on over the holidays to try and help get me out of my *scroog-ette* mood. Plus, I am having color coordination problems with the project I REALLY want to be working on so I have to work on something in the meantime while I wait for new fabric to arrive. The suspense is killing me and I am hoping that the new fabric is the right pick!

This project has been challenging to say the least. There is loads going on...just look at it...there are at least 50 different colors in this chart and the chart isn't the easiest to read. I've been working on it just about one and a half weeks so far so there isn't a lot to share. Just a lot of sporadic brown and green since I'm trying to work on that tree there in the picture. Once you can start to tell what's transforming, I'll post a *Work in Progress (WIP)* picture.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Holiday Fairies!

So in the last three months or so, I've been trying to stitch in my free time. I have lots of projects queued up although I have no idea when I'll actually get around to doing them. But I find it relaxing and a little exciting to see a piece of material transform in front of my eyes and know that it's me that's causing the transformation. I recently finished two Miribilia fairies. One is Halloween Fairy stitched up as kited so nothing fancy there....

The second one is Christmas Fairy...obviously...as she's holding a little green christmas tree. This one was a lot of fun to work on. I decided to splurge and I bought a piece of Sugar Maple Opalescent Bewitched fabric which gives it this little shimmer and makes her appear more festive. You cant really tell in this picture though...


It's a lot of fun seeing them displayed in my living room for the holidays!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Crazy Busy!

I noticed I haven't really written in a while and it's due to loads of things. Initially, I went through a blue phase because a few people I considered friends completely and totally forgot my birthday. I realize that as we get older, we get busier but acknowledging a birthday doesn't really take a lot of effort. An e-card, email, text message, a call or a mailed birthday card. Each takes about 2-5 minutes. Not a lot of time in the grand scheme of things. So needless to say, my birthday was not the greatest this year. It taught me to not really have expectations of others if you didn't want to be disappointed.

Since I've been fairly blue, I've been keeping to myself and picking up things that I hadn't had time to do in a while...reading, stitching, watching loads of Tivo, watching videos and shopping. Way too much shopping! Gah!!

I've also cut back on dating. I was seeing this really nice guy the last month and a half but despite having many commonalities, I didn't feel a romantic connection. So I let him know that we would be better off as friends and that it was probably in my best interest to take a dating break. It was hard at first. I left my profile up and still logged in to check but didn't contact anyone. No one's really been contacting me either. But I slowly came to accept that it would be a good idea to just take everything down and take the time for myself instead of strangers. Plus, everyone says that you meet someone when you least expect it and maybe Match isn't where I will meet my special someone. So down came everything and it's been good.

Although, I do think it's interesting that the moment you really aren't into dating, guys resurface. The firefighter from a pervious post resurfaced and apologized for his disappearace. I've emailed him a couple of times but I'm too busy with my own things right now to just sacrafice the little bit of free time I do have. I do want to see what he's up to though. I will call in time to fulfill the curiousity but I do have to admit that I am acting a bit like a girl. He made me wait so now it's his turn. Another guy resurfaced...someone I'd been talking to off and on via email. He lives in the East Bay though so that may as well be the end of the earth to me. Not to mention he only talks about me going to his side of the bay to meet but he never talks about him coming over here. How come I have to do all the work?! Why can't he suggest to come here instead of waiting for me to go there. I think he'll be waiting a mighty long time if that's how he thinks things work!

Work is gearing back up which I like and am looking forward to...lots of recruitments in the future.

Now all I need to do is get through the holiday season!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Dating Woes

Dating sucks...

I feel like I've hit this brick wall in dating. Same guys, same profiles, same everything. I'm bored. I'm not intrigued at all.

What is up with one line emails? *Hi, How are you?* What kind of a conversation starter is that? Is that really the best that someone can come up with? Because when I get one of those, it's all I can do to not reply *Fine* and hit the send button and see how the guy can build another email off of that. *Hi, my name is ****, what's yours?* Oh dear gawd, just shoot me. Creativity isn't that hard. Pick something and run with it...be sure it's mentioned in the other person's profile.

I know I need a break from dating but I don't know how to. I've been going at a steady clip since February...8 months. Now I'm used to filling my day with profile reading, emails and occasional dates that it seems weird if I'm not. I don't really know how to stop. It'd be easier if I had friends to hang out with but my friends are becoming fewer and far between...married couples, out of town, work-obsessed.

So I'm back to trying more *me* things. I've hit the library and checked out a couple of books. I've taken up yoga which is good...when the guilt of being lazy actually gets me to the class. I've been stitching more and actually have a couple of projects at the framers. And I've been taking advantage of my Netflix membership. You know that The Sopranos is pretty good...I'm up to Season Two, disc three! So I'm getting the me stuff covered but I'm still trying to figure out how to get out there to meet people and have fun...guys and girls...alike to expand my circle of friends. I still haven't figured that out. Where is a non-sporty chick supposed to meet cool people?! Everything I enjoy is fairly girl-centric yet I always end up meeting older women versus girls my age.

So with the problems with dating and the difficulty meeting new friends, I'm feeling a bit in a downward turn.

Friday, October 05, 2007

If it's Casual Encounters that You're Looking For...

Look on fucking Craiglist! They have a section specific to it and everything there...and it's free. Why try to score when spending $30 a month for Match. Match is a dating website...not Adult Friendfinder. If you want to spend the money to find a hook-up, go there.

Hey, I understand that people meet at a bar, hit it off and head to the guy/girl's place and do the horizontal mambo. For the most part, the next morning is filled with confusion, regret or the mere elation of scoring and not really caring about the other person. That's not what I'm looking for. If I was, I'd hang out at bars more often and wouldn't mind the guys and their beer goggles hitting on me. Instead, I invest the time and money on Match to see if I can meet up with that one great guy. You know, the cute, geeky guy who loves movies, music, art, culture, sarcasm, going out and truly wants to get to know me. Frankly, I'm starting to think it's a waste of money because I'm not finding what I want on there and you have to admit that I'm pretty much just looking for a well-rounded guy. Not a hot model-like studmuffin who makes at least six figures and drives a sports car. I could care less about that crap. I just care about meeting a genuine person.

I've been on a lot of dates. A LOT. I've lost count and can't even fricking remember how long I've been on the site now but heck if I go the way of eHarmony. Dear Gawd...how scary is that?! But despite the number of dates I've been on, a guy's never made me feel like a piece of meat before...until a week ago. It's amazing the things a guy will say to get laid...or at least make sure the girl was heading in that direction. The *I'm looking for the one girl so make a life with...get married, make a home and have a couple of kids* is a good one because once girls get into their 30's their clock is ticking. Mine isn't...not in terms of marriage and kids. I'd just like to meet the nice guy to have events and places to go with who treats me well and if things head down the aisle and to a mortgage...than fine by me. The squeezing crying babies from my loins is another thing. I'd really have to find a true catch for me to go down that road. My body may never recover!

So I met a cute, Irish guy who said the above to me on a first date. Seemed like a strange comment to make but considering the *baggage* this guy seemed to have, not completely surprising. He seemed a little damaged...by his own doing...crazy girls and lots of booze. He quit the booze and with the line he played, I figured he realized that the crazy mental pill-popping girls were no longer the route to go. The first date was nice...flowers, dinner, tea and a walk. He seemed like a chivalrous guy. But things were a little different on the second date...not ready on time, dressed like crap, strangely concerned that the tub had to be clean, invited a friend to come over to borrow something and sat to have a chat with him and our date started 45 minutes late. Since we ran late, there went the notion of dinner at a nice, casual place and we had to eat at a sketchy taqueria. Sketchy taqueria is not my idea of a nice date place. Actually me being dressed in nice jeans, heels and a top when my date is dressed in a tee-shirt and shorts is not my idea of cool either. That would have been fine for a daytime date where we were just bumming around or checking out some street festival...not for a dinner and movie date. Guys are really stupid! So we eat and I didn't die since I'm obviously alive to type this and we head to the movie which was the only bright spot in the whole evening. We saw *Once* which was a cute, heartfelt movie. It wasn't Oscar material by any standards but it was a nice story and the music was fun and catchy. So after the movie, we head back to his place and he convinces me to come up for just a bit and I do...only to get pounced.

Let's get this straight. I don't care if a guy is hot, I probably won't sleep with him before the second date unless the chemistry is so fricking amazing that well, I just can't help it. Frankly, the 13 years of catholic schooling usually kicks in. If a guy hasn't even held my hand, I definitely am not going to sleep with him. So 2 strike for Irish Boy and Strike 3 for just plain being stupid. Really...what is it? A guy doesn't hold my hand but he'll want to fuck me?! That's basically what it is. He doesn't know me from Jane. But the fact of the matter is that I do not appreciate being talked into heading into someone's apartment to *talk* and get jumped and made to feel like it's ok or that I encouraged it. I'm not that hard pressed to get laid. Frankly, if I wanted to get laid by a stranger, I'd head to the bar. As it is, I like to know the people I am with which is why I have an *arrangement*. That works perfect for me.

So Irish Boy...if you want a meaningless lay...just use Craiglist and leave the nice girls on Match alone.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Against My Better Judgement

If there's one thing I've told myself, it's been to stay away from cops and stay away from firefighters if they enter my *dating world*. I've already done the cop thing and I learned that they live and breathe their job. I should know this already considering one of my good friends is a cop and all she ever talks about is work, cases and job politics. One more story and I may just scream. So I got the cop thing worked out of my system pretty well.



Now...I work with firefighters everyday. That whole saying about not shitting where you eat comes into play and anyone whose dated a co-worker knows what I'm talking about here. It can get messy, stinky and gross and you don't want it anywhere near you. So why did I even consider it? There are firefighters on Match. I've come across them before and I've done the spiel. The *thanks for the email but I work for a fire agency too so I think it best not to mingle with romantic intentions* spiel. For the most part, it scares the guys away anyways. I know a lot. I know what it's like at the firehouse. I know what their schedule is supposed to be like. I know they live and breathe the job when they're on their own time. They love the job but the job can be damaging. They see people in all states of despair...and death. I also know when to spot the bullshit and call people on it. You know, people really hate when you do that?! But there was one thing that really intrigued me about this one firefighter that made me reply back when his response to my spiel was *if you look at the fact that I only work 10 days a month and I got to school, I'm really just a student with a part-time job*. Yep, that simple comment made me reconsider because not only did he have a good comeback, he also loved rockabilly music. There aren't many people who'll admit that the combination of rock, old-country and punk is cool. It's fun, it's good to dance to and he knew some of the bands that I liked which most people don't. So I decided to give it a try.

Big Mistake!

Geez, firefighters and cops are just bad news. I work 5 days a week, juggle yoga, friends and family and still find the time to date. Yet this guy couldn't find time to date despite only working two days a week. WTF?! So I was always bending over backwards to see him. Lunch dates where I extended my lunch so we could hang out and I would end up staying late to make up the time. Racing home after yoga to shower and host a video night. Firefighter dude was so inaccessible and for some reason I liked him. So stupid...but it happens. I sensed that he wasn't really that interested and I'm not sure if it was just because he didn't feel chemistry...or if he met someone else or if he just plain wasn't ready to be back in the dating market after a recent break up. Either way, I expected that he would have the decency to just tell me things weren't working out instead of pulling his profile and disappearing. Sometimes guys are way stupid. But if you know where someone works and who their co-workers are and there is that small chance that you'll bump into them later in life, the least a guy can do is just tell the girl he's not into it. Point Blank...what's so hard about it? Instead he acts like an idiot...I just think things will be interesting when we bump into each other again. Very interesting indeed...

So now that I've got the experience with a cop and a firefighter out of the way, I'd just like to meet a nice guy that has cool character.

Friday, August 03, 2007

The Eager and The Excited

Lots of changes at work...good ones. Things'll be busy for the next few months in terms of recruiting and right now I am getting a taste of it by handling my first ever recruitment...for firefighters. That means that there are a lot of eager and excited young guys out there trying to be heroes.

On Wednesday, I had the fun duty of calling those selected for a Chief's Interview. It's a huge deal and when they've gone from 105 applicants to 8 core interviews...those called pretty much know they're special. Now they just need to prove it to the Chief. A couple of the guys I called cracked me up! I just loved hearing *I've been waiting to hear your voice!*. Such flirts! I know that they're trying to get into my good graces in the hopes of me mentioning how nice they are to the Chief. Yea, I don't think so!! But it's nice to get a voice compliment as I usually get teased about mine.

Next couple of weeks will be fun and exciting...we'll hire a couple of guys and it'll be busy getting them ready for their new job. These are times when I really, really like my job!

Dating Blahs

I have the dating blahs. Whenever I get these blahs, I wonder if I should really even be dating. No one is sparking any real interest. Everyone seems very cookie cutter but maybe that's because I seem to attract computer techie types? There is no real excitement, no butterflies, no hopes of the cute guy I'm seeing just jumping me already, no...nothing. I've basically just been going through the motions of getting out there and meeting new people so that I don't become a hermit and things have really felt that way since *T*. Not that I want to get back together with *T* since there were some major issues there for me that I know wouldn't get fixed quickly or easily and that's just too messy for me to deal with. I really just need something that just needs a couple of tweaks here and there...not a major overhaul. So I was juggling and am still seeing Guy #1.

Guy #2 thought I lived in the city and accused me of not revealing my true location on my profile so I accused him of being a *picture clicker*. You know, the guys that see a cute face and just click to wink and doesn't even really look or read the profile. Yea...one of those. I haven't heard from him since which is probably a good thing. He sounded like an idiot!

Guy #3 is cute and totally my physical type but it was completely painful to talk to him on the phone. I talked and talked for 15 minutes asking him all sorts of questions and he didn't ask me one single thing about me not to mention he didn't elaborate at all on his answers to my questions. It may as well have been a game of 20 questions. If it was that painful on the phone, I wasn't going to put myself through a face-to-face meeting. So sayonara.

Guy #4 seems fun and interesting but not really my type per se. I kind of distanced myself from him because he lives in Oakland. Geez, what a pain that would be. So the location logistics are kind of a pain and I don't know if I want to put myself in a position of potentially having to drive to Oakland to meet up with a guy I'm dating. Considering I get pissed off just driving the 3 miles to work, can you imagine having to drive 25 miles and crossing a bridge?! Gah...I'll go mad! So he's in and out of the picture depending on my mood.

So the only one really in the picture is Guy #1 who is the gym rat, super-casual guy I've been seeing for the past two to three weeks. I still feel very unsure about him as he keeps trying to talk me into going on walks and hikes, doesn't really dress nice for our dates and seems a tad frugal. Honestly, girls don't like being told they're a *cheap date*. We may realize that we are but guys...you can really keep that realization to yourselves. I'm quite unsure if I want to go through the next step with Guy #1 since I'm not feeling it. Plus he has no vices! Ugh, why can't I meet a cool, cute, nice guy with the same vices as me? Caffeine, alcohol and the occasional (rarely ever) nicotine fix? This makes any form of entertainment so much enjoyable for me but I feel weird dragging people to coffee shops and bars if they don't imbibe either type of drink!

So with that said, I'm sure most know what I'm in the midst of as well. Whenever I'm unsure about a guy, I reassess my options. Another guy emailed me asking if I'd like to get together and perhaps we will. The logistics are as good as Guy #1. Lives in the city, works on the peninsula and suggested a drink! I'd love to go out for a drink and someone else be joining me. And as always, I turn to *the ex*. Too bad he's so incredibly busy with work right now.

So I just feel quite blah about all these guys. And as usual, me juggling the blah guys finally makes me realize that I haven't worked on any of my projects! I've got to learn how to juggle the guys and the projects.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Invasion!

So I went from being a 30-something empty-nester to being bombarded by loads of family! My parents finally came back from Nicaragua and even though I really wanted them to come back and take care of their own crap, they are now driving me nuts. Surprise! Yea, I don't think anyone is. It just seems like the older they get, the needier they become. On Monday, my aunt came in to visit for one month from Nicaragua and on Tuesday, my sister, her husband and the two rugrats flew in for a week. I guess I'm lucky because at least I have my apartment to escape to at night.


So needless to say this week is a bombardment of family. I'll be spending most of my evenings in South City and even took Friday off so I can go down to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk. Yay! I love it down there so I'm really looking forward to it.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Surfacing...

Hmmm, my last post was April 13, 2007. That should tell you a lot. I haven't really had the heart to write lately...whether it be blog or just plain email. Sometimes it feels like I expend a lot of energy doing so and I don't get things done like housework, stitching or just plain relaxing.

Last I wrote, I met this guy and things seemed to be going well. That ended last month after much thought and deliberation...and counsel from friends! It all came to not being satisfied or happy in the relationship. It's not worth staying if you're not happy even if you don't want to go back to being *single* again so soon. So I'm back to being single and back to being on Match which is always this adventure and challenge for me. In the last month and a half, I've met two guys. One drove me nuts since he kept on saying I may as well be a Marina girl. He may think that's funny but he may as well have slapped me in the face. I detest the Marina and the very essence of it. The guys in their *uniform* and the gold-digging girls waiting to dig their claws into a man that can keep them in Manolos. I am NOT a Marina chick. So he got crossed off the list quick! The next guy was nice if not a little intimidating with his intense fitness regime. He didn't set my blood electric or anything but I suppose he's worth a second chance. And there's the mish mosh of other guys that I'm emailing at the moment. Sadly, no one is really intriguing me so much that I'm just *dying* to meet them. At the moment, it's just a way to pass the time and be social.

I have already had to block a psycho guy in the short time I've been back on Match. Nice! But at least it's better for the psycho-ness to happen behind the safety of my computer screen instead of in person...because then, that would be scary! But I don't feel very comfortable when some guy emails me multiple times a day especially when I'm not encouraging such emails with a response. And I am hardly comforted by the fact that he is ex-military and works for the Department of Defense. And the constant emails, requests for phone calls and hyped up military background did have the good concrete beginnings for some Lifetime movie as a friend of mine commented. So I just had to block him and am thankful that I didn't divulge anything to him that would make it possible to track me down.

In the spare time I've managed to scrounge up, I am stitching like crazy! I've finished Halloween Fairy and will post her picture soon once I figure out how my digital camera uploads pictures! I've started another project which is the Christmas Fairy and I promise to be better about showing progress pictures on her too.

So all in all...things are good

Friday, April 13, 2007

Surprise Me!

I changed my tagline to say *surprise me!* on my match profile about a month ago. I've gotten a few emails from guys titled *Surprise!* soon after. Ummm...yea...that wasn't what I was going for. But strangely enough...I have been surprised in the most unexpected way. By talking to and meeting someone who actually does what they say they will do. Us girls know that's very rare indeed! We are confronted with a lot of hot air but no lift off. This coming Wednesday will make the one month mark of the day we met. He probably doesn't realize that but me reaching the one month mark in any dating scenario tends to be a big deal since I rarely ever get through the second date nowadays. Of course, in one month, we've only been on 5 dates because of his travel schedule. I kind of like that though. I have my space, we aren't in the throes of spending every available minute together...I like that. Personal space and time are huge things for me.

I'm, of course, unsure and hesitant about this match. But would I be Valerie if I wasn't?! Yea...exactly. Dating brings about the neuroses that I do a pretty good job of hiding but *T* is a really good guy. He's funny, sweet, manages to say all the right things, is a city kid like me and we have the same parental dynamic and are anti-kid. It's good...it works. I kind of like that he calls me all sorts of pet names already like adorable, gorgeous, baby and beautiful. Of course, I'm not ready to create pet names to say back at him. He calls me smart-ass and a brat too. I like those names as well. I'll accept what I'm good at and I excel at those. It seems too soon for pet names though. I like it but at the same time...it weirds me out a little. Not enough to trigger my run reflex though.

He's a pretty good looking guy. A traditional irish guy. Seems like I attract a lot of them. He's tall which is huge for me. Tall girls need tall guys. He's got the most amazing green/blue eyes and a voice that makes me smile each time I hear it. He's got a few extra pounds on him that he manages to hide well with his commanding appearance. At 6'1", that's pretty easy to do! His only negative is the inherited receding hairline he's experiencing at a mere 37 years of age. So far, things have been fun.

But it's nice to have been surprised for once instead of disappointed. I plan on riding things out and seeing where things go with *T*. He's on another business trip now so I won't be seeing him for another week. But then, I'm off to a business trip of my own too. We're both busy, busy city kids!

More stories to follow on *T*.

Disappearing Acts

Everybody's doing a disappearing act.

I am...

My friends are...

The older we get, the busier we've all become.

I'd like to think that I try to be a good friend. I know I'm hard to get a hold of...especially now. I'm busy at work and don't really use the computer at night anymore. I hate the phone and have less time to email. But it's not as though people give me a hard time about dropping off either. But I have gotten annoyed.

A friend of mine called me after 3 years of not talking and acted like we just talked yesterday. If he hasn't been a part of my life for three years and I've been fine with it, why would I take him back? I told him that much which resulted into a little match of *you this and me that*. I don't need that crap in my life. I need it as drama-free as possible hence that friendship is not going to blossom again. I don't like headgames from guys I date, let alone people I call friends and let into my life.

I haven't spoken to another friend since October. I've emailed. I've called. Repeatedly! I'm sick of it. Frankly, I'm left to think I was used for a free place to stay for a west coast visit. I'm a little sad...I thought she was a great friend and someone I could confide all my neurotic dating/sex stories with. Who understood me and was a lot of fun to talk to. But apparently the new boyfriend takes precedance over any friends and I misunderstood. Actually, I'm a lot sad about that loss.

Another walked back into my life after four years. Considering the embarrassing pretense under which I met him again, I couldn't very well make a fit but I'm glad he's back and we're making a real effort at sticking with being in each other's lives right now. He's a good guy.

The friend I've known for over 20 years is in the midst of a separation/divorce and she's out shagging miscellaneous men and I don't feel like I really know her anymore. It's strange but I get that this is her selfish phase. Her *go out and live life*. But does she really have to cast aside the people she's known for practically forever?

It's only April. So far....lots of disappearing. There was a little reappearing but for the most part...people are dropping off like flies and it makes me a little sad.

Me...I'm back. I may not be back very often but I'm here and I'll blog little by little.

It's a Small World After All

It’s amazing how small the world, or shall I say the Bay Area is! I never thought that living in the city. I didn’t run into people I knew on the street very often and I felt a sense of being anonymous if I wanted to be. That suited me wonderfully when I started off on Match. All my close friends knew I was on this crazy online dating site and were entertained by the weird an obscure stories. I never worried about having to come face to face with an anonymous match guy in real life unless I actually wanted to meet them. But that sense of anonymity disappeared when I moved to the Peninsula. All of the Peninsula is about the same population as the city itself but the Peninsula covers more miles. You’d think that it would be more anonymous down here than in the city!

Since moving to sunny suburbia, I’ve ran into match guys just minding my own business…obviously unplanned and unexpected. The mattress store guy was a little awkward. I just wanted to take care of my mattress problem not see or deal with this guy who winked at me and I ignored.

I also didn’t want to see the guy I told was boring because all he talked about was cooking. Really…like a girl needs a play-by-play of how heirloom tomatoes are made, especially when said girl subsists on salads, sandwiches and other assorted easy to make items. Obviously…if making heirloom tomatoes requires more than four ingredients and fifteen minutes to make…I’m not interested! But, I, of course, run into said boring cook at the Symphony. My friend was probably laughing at how I was trying to make myself appear unnoticeable so I wouldn’t have to actually talk to the boring cook guy. Geez, can’t a girl just enjoy the Symphony without running into random people that she borderline insulted?! Ummm…yea?!

So the topper to the *running into anonymous Match guys in real-life* dilemma occurred about two months ago. Hellow!! So behind on the blogging! But about two months ago, I had a meeting with some of the guys at the station. And the alarm rang...they had to go to a call but I wasn't done with my portion of the meeting. So they asked me to come along and that when they were done with the call, we would regroup. OK...cool...ride on the engine...this could be fun! And is was. The call was a huge waste of time...it's completely amazing how stupid people can be. Did someone really need to tell this lady that if she's got a cast on her right foot, she probably shouldn't drive?! I mean, that's pretty common sense to me! While everyone was busy with first aid, report taking and picture taking...I hung back and just watched...and then I noticed two motorcycle cops drive up. And as I watch them join the mass amount of people helping the incredibly stupid woman, I get that funny feeling about one of the cops. Do I know him from somewhere? He looks awfully familiar? Ok...do you see where this is going? Exactly?! He looks awfully familiar...like that guy on Match. Weird! No...it couldn't be. So I ask one of the guys if he knows the cops name and then goes into these obscene little rant about how I must think the cop is hot and how I want to see him in nothing but his gun belts and boots. OK...the boots are cool but I don't really want to see the guy naked. I just want to know his name to fulfill my curiousity! And I finally get close enough to read the namebadge and I'm convinced it's the match guy. That match guy that blew me off twice and had the nerve to contact me a third time and whom I consequently blew off in return. Sweet revenge! I confirmed his identity by asking a friend of mine who happens to be a co-worker of his and when I determined it was him, I was so annoyed that he wasn't upfront in the first place, that I confronted him in email. I went off about how he should be careful who he blows off because you never know when you'll run into them in real life. Apparently, he didn't recognize me at the call and I had to explain the whole thing to him. Stupid...stupid! And after all that, he still had the nerve to ask me out...again! Stupid!

So needless to say, I'm pretty wary about online dating now if I'm going to be running into these guys in real life when I least suspect it. I like going about my business without being worried when the next weird match guy is going to jump around the corner! You just don't think about how small the world really is because when you look at a map...it sure does look really, really big. But you know what? It's not big at all.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Halloween Fairy, One Month

No hair, no feet and no wings. Poor Halloween Fairy! She looks a fright but considering she was born of nothing than a piece of fabric and a lot of loose stands of thread. She doesn't look half bad for a one month mark. She'll be a great addition for my halloween decorations this year!

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Slummin'

I do a lot of embarrassing things. Frankly, online dating is the biggest thing. I mean, when you break it apart, I’m basically advertising myself on the internet, pictures and all, in the hopes of meeting someone interesting enough to date, have a relationship with, etc. If you’ve been reading for a while, you know that I come out with a lot of interesting stories but no real match.

To break things up, I’ll post on Craigslist once in a while just to see what I get. I basically steal my Match profile and post it on CL with no picture and add a couple of sentences on stats. For the most part, I get a lot of babies and a lot of old men. I guess men don’t know how to read considering I state my preferences about age, height and nationality right in the ad. Disappointing…the state of men is incredibly dismal…at least in the SF Bay Area, it is.

So imagine my surprise when one day I got an email in my inbox that basically says “Is your name Valerie? You sound like an old friend of mine that I lost contact with.” Actually, I was shocked. Nowhere in my ad do I state my name, where I live, what I do or anything that can truly tie me to my *real* identity. I like hiding behind my computer until someone intrigues me enough to come out into the open. The guy who sent me the email was actually an old friend. Old as in I’ve known him for a number of years but have played this disappearing act on each other a couple of times now. The last time I talked to him was four years ago! It was nice to hear from him, albeit a little embarrassing considering how he found me. Great…finding me through the personals. Totally embarrassing!!

That initial email was about a month ago. Obviously, I’m behind on my blogging! Since then *K* and I have hung out and emailed back and forth a few times. After four years, it feels like there is a lot to catch up on. We work opposite schedules with me working days and him working nights so conversation and communication is a little difficult especially considering I’m an email person and he’s a phone person. Phones…eewwwww!!!

So I guess that’s a lesson that Craigslist isn’t a complete cesspool if it can re-unite you with old friends.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Halloween Fairy

I am in *craft madness* mode. It's either feast or famine with me. I can juggle 5 projects simultaneously or I don't look at one crafty thing in months. Right now, I'm in the midst of knitting a baby hat and a pair of socks. Let me tell you...socks are damn hard!

Stitching is my passion though and you'll probably be hearing me talking about fairies for the next few months because I just received *Halloween Fairy* in the mail yesterday and was all giddy and excited to start so start I did...last night. She will be my small project. I am still waiting for supplies for *Fairy Moon* which is this monstrous and challenging task. A little daunting with lots of beads but she is pretty and when...or shall I say if...I finish her, she'll probably get framed up really nice for my bedroom. I'll unveil her when I actually start.


For now, this is what *Halloween Fairy* will look like when I'm done. Obviously, since I JUST started, it doesn't look like much of anything right now.

The Most Boring-est Guy Ever

In my life, I’ve met a lot of guys. Frankly, more guys than I could ever have kept track of and I know that labels me as a serial dater but I don’t care. In the beginning, I was really good about remembering who I’ve met. I finally realized that I am now bad at that when I saw a guy’s Match profile last week and thought he looked familiar but he was one of those guys with just one photo posted. I hate that…I mean, is that the best photo they have taken in all their life and they don’t want to admit what they really look like? People usually have more than one photo they can post on a site they are trying to attract women in which to date. He emailed me and I realized that not only had we emailed before…we had gone on a date. Gah! Not a very good date either. I was not impressed and I remember now that he was super late, talked only about real estate and thought that girls with tattoos in the small of their back were great because it made “the sex even hotter”. Yea, I don’t really see the correlation there since there is only one position out there that allows the guys to see the small of a girl’s back while doing the nasty. Hellow! Oh yea…well that was a rant right there. That wasn’t the purpose of this post.

*****

So, I’ve met a lot of guys. Some fun, witty, intelligent, engrossing and truly a pleasure to spend time with whether it be on the phone or in person. Others, dull, boring, conceited and cocky whom I never, ever waste more time on again. I have standards and I feel that if I am witty, fun, charming and nice, then the guys I spend time with should be too. That’s pretty simple. I was surprised a couple of weeks ago when I was contacted on Match by this guy who I can only describe as model-cute. I don’t attract model-cute guys. I attract nerdy, tech guys who border on being teddy bear-ish. There’s nothing wrong with that but I do like hot guys with a bit of a bad-boy edge. I realize that hasn’t really worked for me in the past but I can’t help it…that’s what I like. I do, I do, I just do! So this guy is model cute and I figure that I can at least see what he’s all about. We emailed a couple of times and decided to talk. First a little background about the guy before I go into the conversation we had. He was 39, a consultant, lived in the bay area for the last 8 years and seemed nice. But once we got on the phone, he was the most inarticulate, hypocritical, talkative and incredibly boring! So boring, I could have done anything to shut him up. Never in my life have I heard anyone use *ummm*, *you know*, *sucks* and *like* as much as this guy and he’s 39 years old! You would think that his vocabulary would be much, much better considering his age and that he’s a consultant. I don’t get how he obtains clients when he can’t even construct a full sentence without at least one of the above words scattered within it. That doesn’t seem very professional to me. He basically told me that I was lucky to have the family situation that I have even though he has one that is similar and completely distances himself from his own family. How is it that I am lucky and don’t appreciate what I have but he doesn’t. Hypocritical jerk!

Like that wasn’t enough…then he went on to say that the Bay Area is so expensive and starts capping on the city. Bud, if you don’t like the city…get the hell out! We don’t like people like you living in the city anyways! Yet, he’s lived here 8 years. The city isn’t keeping him here. He’s a self-employed consultant and he can basically work anywhere. Then he proceeds to tell me that he could never be a teacher in the Bay Area because teachers get paid poorly and the cost of living is too high to survive as a teacher. He has a friend that lives in Florida who’s a teacher and she owns a home and lives very well on a teacher’s salary. My response to that was *yea, but that’s in Florida*. And you know what he said? He called me a snob!! Whatever buddy…it’s the truth! That is in Florida. Who wants to live in a state that is so hot and humid all the time and has hurricanes every year?! If you want to be a teacher and own a home, I guess Florida is the state to do it in but I’d rather not deal with intense heat, humidity and my home being damaged every year because of damn hurricanes! But I don’t deserve to be called a snob for pointing out the truth.

So not only am I irritated by his lack of conversation skills, I’m pissed that he basically insulted me and keeps bringing up these heavy topics when I am trying to get to know him but frankly, he was boring me to death. I would have excused myself 15 minutes into the conversation if he would have stopped talking and let me say something...anything! Instead, I was stuck on the phone with this nimrod for an hour!! An hour of my life I would love to get back! But I guess I should be happy that I didn’t skip the formality of the *get to know you* phone call before actually meeting him because if I met him personally first, I’d have had to run out of the coffee shop screaming. I doubt that would have done either of us any good. But I seriously think he takes the cake for the most boring-est guy ever!!

Lesson learned…looks aren’t everything. Model cute can mean the guy is a nimrod, boring jerk. At least that’s what it meant in this situation.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

New Years Resolutions

Well, I had thought I’d be on the game with the blogging this year but it doesn’t look like I can get my act together. The beginning of the year was busy with work deadlines and bridesmaid duties but that is all finally over and done with. And it’s time to get back on track! I’m hoping that everyone has had a good start to the new year. Mine was pretty rough with grant deadlines and an incredibly disorganized and procrastinating group of people who I was working with in conjunction with that plan. I ended up getting sick and losing my voice right before my friend’s wedding and it was a little rough trying to be productive and lucid with a croaky voice and extreme fatigue. I managed to pull through with flying colors and at the beginning of what I considered my new year, January 14th, I managed to sideswipe my car. Lesson learned…do not drive when extremely tired. Lucky for me, I just grazed the corner of this guy’s bumper and he just got a scrape and I have some light scratches along the side of my car. Of course, it probably wouldn’t have happened if my friend was actually able to follow someone instead of getting lost three blocks from our point of origin! I mean really….is following someone so fricking hard?! So as I’m freaked out wondering where the heck she went, I wasn’t paying enough attention to fully clear this car as I was turning in to wait out my friend’s return. Not a good start to Valerie’s self-proclaimed start of the year. But enough about that…I have New Years’ Resolutions.

**Be more crafty – I have sacrificed craftiness over the past two years for the sake of dating. Obviously, that hasn’t worked out well for me. I’m more cynical, frustrated and hyper-critical about dating than ever before. This resolution has actually been met so far with an extreme amount of energy! I finished my cousin’s baby birth announcement and am in the midst of trying to frame it myself. I also finished a tiny *Happy Birthday* cross stitch for my sister. Right now…I am working on a little Christmas ornament and have even enrolled in a class to get back into knitting. This time socks. I’ve always wanted to try and this seemed like as good a time as any! The class starts this Saturday and I am really looking forward to it. Once I can get a hold of a digital camera, I’ll show off pictures!

**Work out – lose and keep off 10 pounds – Surprise, surprise…I haven’t even touched this resolution with a 10 foot pole! But I want to and need to lose at least 10 pounds. I just do NOT have the drive and motivation to do it. I so hate working out but it'll happen.


**Take a real vacation - right now, I'm thinking road trip to Seattle. I have a gfood friend who lives there, it isn't horribly far and I absolutely love the foggy, misty city of Seattle. If I didn't live in the SF Bay Area, Seattle would be my second choice. And considering I've dated practically dated every eligible man in 2 counties here as it is, I may just have to move there anyways.

**Clean and organize - pretty self explanatory. My place is a mess...it's a cute finally put together place with the recent acquisition of a chair and an area rug but it's messy and unorganized and ummm...cluttered. So since I've spent loads of money on the chair and the rug, I should have the time to clean. Yea...we'll see how well that goes!

**Get a digital camera - now that I'm being crafty, I want to document my creations. Hopefully I can acquire one after I file my taxes and I find out if the government owes me money or if I owe them.

So that's it for the new year and my resolutions. I'll update on my progress throughout the year!