Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

The title says it all.

*The boy* isn't having any luck on the job front here and the strain of his lack of employment, money, mobility...everything that could have happened that did happen...has taken a toll on our relationship.

Despite loving each other and trying our hardest, the stars are so mis-aligned. Nothing we do is working and sometimes, you just have to step away.

It's hard. It's sad. It's depressing. It is heartbreaking. Neither of us really want to be apart but what he can provide isn't enough for me and we aren't being fair to each other.

Unless he gets a miraculous job offer in the next few days that will pay him a decent amount of money, he'll be heading back east. Maybe Boston would be kinder to him...give him a job. San Francisco is being unforgiving. There's a little bit of planning to do so he can go back East but it will all happen soon.

And now I'm faced with being single again...and alone...and pretty much friendless. Well, friendless in the "not having local friends that can get drunk with me at the nearby bar" type of friends. Frankly, most of my friends are in a different place than me that I feel like I am a third wheel and don't really belong.

It's hard when you try and try and try and no matter how much you do try, nothing works. I already know a lot of people think this should have happened ages ago. I tried to prove them wrong.

So I won't be blogging much or stitching much or returning phone calls much or emails much. I apologize to those who are waiting for anything from me. I won't be doing much of anything except crying, healing and working on my work deadlines, even though work is the last place I want to be. Sharon and Lisa, it may be a while before I get your gifties in the mail too.

I wish I had good news but good news never seems to find me. I know I sound low...but I think I'm allowed.

38 comments:

mbroider said...

I am very to sorry hear this, Valerie...

Do some stitching - any stitching my dear, so you dont have an idle mind...

Hugs
Sharmila

KarenV said...

I'm so sorry Valerie {{{hugs}}} I know how hard you tried to make this work. You deserve a break - hopefully good things are just around the corner for you.

Carol R said...

[[[hugs]]] Thinking of you!

Sadie said...

Sending big, big ((((hugs))))

Rowyn said...

Sorry to hear your sad news Valerie. Sending hugs your way.

Siobhan said...

Oh Valerie, I am so sorry. I know you gave it your all, and I know how much it hurts when that isn't enough. Do whatever you need to do to heal... we will be here with virtual hugs and margaritas when you get back. Hang in there. ((((((((((((((((((Valerie)))))))) I'll be thinking of you.

Julie said...

I'm sorry to read this

{{healing heart hugs}}

Margaret said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, Valerie. I can hear the hurt and sorrow. I'll be thinking of you. Remember we're all here whenever you're ready for us. You're a special person. Hugs to you.

Mylene said...

Sorry to hear this, Valerie. Sending good thoughts your way and do take care.((hugs))

Deb said...

You definitely allowed Valerie. I'm so sorry to hear about this, but perhaps it's an opportunity that you don't see right now and things will work out for you when you least expect them to. Keep your head up, do what you have to and heal. Good things are waiting for you - they're there, but you just don't know it.

Barbi said...

oh valarie! That's just so crappy!! I'm sorry. Feel better, cry as much as you need to, we'll all be here when you're ready or you need to be :)

Catherine said...

So sorry to hear of your news. Take the time you need and we'll be here when you decide it's the right time to come back.

Katrina said...

Valerie, I am so, so sorry. You are in my thoughts {{{{hugs}}}}.

Laura said...

I will definitely have a virtual drink with you anytime, Valerie. Make mine a chardonnay. Big hugs to you.

Pumpkin said...

Valerie, I'm so sorry to hear this :o( I hope you will heal soon but do know that you have lots of friends online!

I'm in a new place and after a year, finally have one friend I can truly call a friend. It takes time and is definitely not easy.

((((HUGS))))

David Morin said...

Shit. Sorry Val. Let me know if there is anything I can do? You can always grab a drink with me in the city or Berkeley if you want to chat.

Melissa said...

Valerie, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm sending good thoughts your way and lots of hugs!!! Hope to hear from you online soon. We're all here supporting you.

Melanie said...

So sorry. :(

Ranae said...

This is sad news and you sound genuinely sad. We are here for you, so please don't give up stitching or blogging.
Take Care!!
(((hugs)))

Marjorie said...

I am very sorry to hear this and I 'm sorry you're feeling so down, but if it was really a struggle to stay together (and it seems like it was) maybe this is better for you. Keep your chin up and go on a major stash splurge soon. Always makes me feel better.

Sally said...

So sorry Valerie {{{{hugs}}}}

Theresa said...

I'm so sorry to hear this Valerie... Big hugs to you. I know you will need some time to heal, and we will still be here when you are ready.

(((HUGS)))

Carol said...

Yes, you certainly are allowed to feel low, Valerie. You had invested so much time and so much of yourself in your relationship that it wouldn't be normal not to feel down after it ended... Take plenty of time for yourself and treat yourself well. Sending you a warm hug and I hope you know that we all care and we are all here to lend a shoulder...

Blu said...

((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))
Sending good thoughts your way.

Hazel said...

I'm so sorry Valerie. If you ever need to chat online then feel free to add me to msn or skype. Don't be alone hun. xxxx

Missy Ann said...

(((Valerie)))

doahleigh said...

Like far too many others, I know this feeling. Sorry for the sad news, but I wish you well!

octobereves said...

Val, I'm so sorry. You can come to Kansas and we'll stitch, stash and drink some Captain Morgan w/ Sprite Zero. CM has a key lime flavored rum that is so incredibly good. We can talk men. I'm sure we'd have plenty to say and stitch, sister, we'd stitch up a storm! You're not alone. I'm in a similar boat.

Daffycat said...

What sad news. I am so sorry for you, Valerie. *hugs*

Just let me know what time and I'll be glad to get smashing drunk with you...we can instant message or text until we start typing jibberish and pass out, okay?

Elaine said...

So sorry to hear your news Valerie.
Sending you lots of hugs and good thoughts.

js said...

I know this might sound weird. And I hope you dont get mad. But I continued reading your blog, I thought it was interesting. I know we didnt talk much. And Im sorry for that. I just wanted to say Im truely sorry for whats happening ( the break-up). I know how hard it is and painful. Its a part of life though. Everybody goes through it, the heart aches, but theres happiness not far. And if you ever want to talk about it, or go grab a drink(sangria always works) or a bite, and just have a good convsersation straight up, Im free. Maybe a friendship will come out of it. Who knows. You can call or
email me if you want.
johnadams7520@hotmail.com
JS

Rachel S said...

I am so sorry to hear about this. (hugs)

Raven/Missy said...

I am sorry to hear this Valerie. *HUGS*

Dani - tkdchick said...

Sorry to hear you've decided to go your seperate ways.

I look forward to your return when you feel up to it.

Michelle said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, and even though it sounds like you've both made this decision it still hurts. And I totally know how you feel not being in the place many of your friends are geographically, and also in life. That makes it even harder. I wish I was there to take you out to the bar or watch movies with ice cream. I feel for you, and am absolutely here for you if you need anything, or want to talk.

Jackie said...

Yes, it's absolutely allowed.

I've been away from the blog world for a few weeks. I'm sorry to hear about the painful time you're experiencing. I hope you find peace soon.

韋于倫成 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
HaroldM22 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.