Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween! I hope everyone has a happy and fun sweet-filled day!
***
My thoughts are scattered today. I've been feeling like this a lot lately and it's not helped by being in the midst of my monthly pity party. I'm feeling quite sad and unappreciated. After housesitting for my parents for five months, all my dad could do is give me a hard time that I hadn't paid all the bills before they arrived. Seeing as I arrived from New York 27 hours before they did, I thought they could handle paying the two bills themselves seeing as they weren't even due for another 2 weeks. Five months of wasting gas, adding miles to my aging car, paying bills, watering the plants, making sure the house is ok, constant calls...and I don't even get a thank you. No consideration for the fact that I work and did this for them despite having my own problems and trying to mend and heal a broken heart. Or that I bought them groceries and stocked their fridge before I even stocked my own. I do not have the typical happy family relationship most people *seem* to have with theirs. Despite everything I do, it's never enough and I am always the "bad daughter" even though I am the only child that does anything to help. As my parents age and need more help, I don't want to be the one that does everything anymore. I don't want to make the tough decisions that will soon be necessary. Even if I were to make the decisions, I have parents that don't listen to a thing I say because I'm the "baby" and apparently stupid. They are both deaf as doorknobs and refuse to get hearing aids and I am so tired of yelling and repeating myself that I don't even talk to them if I don't have to. They don't understand that we would all be happier if they were to get the aids because we could all hear each other but they are too frugal. How much they miss out on life because they can't hear anything. How frustrated I get because when I do tell them a story, it gets terribly mangled because they only listen a little and then make up the rest on their own. I am so frustrated! I want to be able to live my life and experience all the things my older siblings have been able to because they've been free of the burden by moving away. Sometimes I feel that my parents decided to have another child so late in life so they would have someone to take care of them. It's been my role since I was a teenager. A stunted youth...no fun extracurricular activities like sports, hobbies, dating, boys, etc. I don't have much support from my brother who I feud with like you wouldn't imagine and acts like he is a 55 year old child who is king of the household and that everyone should be waiting on him and a sister that would help if she didn't live 1500 miles away. For years, I've thought of moving just to have a little more freedom despite my heart belonging to San Francisco. It's sad when you think about moving away to escape your family so that you can live with the freedom you believe you deserve. To be able to travel and have fun without constantly being questioned and being served a healthy portion of Catholic guilt for every little thing. *sigh*

***
Ok I had to get the sad, depressing part out of the way. Now for the fun part. It's heartwarming to know that when those in my real-life world have forgotten or disappointed me in some manner, my blogging family is out there thinking of me and sending me little rays of sunshine. I got some sweet packages recently. Meari read about my excursion to the Snoopy Museum and she sent me a Happy Birthday Peanuts book. It was fun to flip through! Thanks Meari.
And then Natasha sent me this fun overdyed skein of Happy Birthday floss by Ozark Sampler. How great is that...a color specifically called Happy Birthday! Thanks Natasha! I will have to find a spring project to use this for and it just screams spring to me. I love it when birthdays last all month long! haha

Despite stashing like mad at the Shepherd's Retreat, I couldn't let my birthday discount at Needlecraft Corner go to waste. Because you know...SALE is about as good a four letter word as CAKE. Here's my haul...
First 8 charts of the BBD Anniversaries of the Heart Series
And I also got The Drawn Thread's Almost Halloween, Kelmcott's Miniature Monogram Hornbook Margin Marker, Kelmcott Lace Scissors and a slew of CC, GAST, WDW threads. Most of the threads I purchased are for the BBD Anniversaries of the Heart Series and BBD Mystery Sampler with a couple of others tossed in for good measure.

I am hoping to start Anniversaries of the Heart in January and do one block per month. I just need to purchase fabric. I contacted R&R for 40 count Olde Towne Blend but they are out of it and the base fabric. If anyone knows a LNS that stocks 40 count R&R, can you let me know? Otherwise, I will have to decide between Lakeside Linens Meadow Rue or Exampler. I wonder if a trip to NiaH is on the horizon to help me decide...

***
After days of not stitching due to travel and housesitting running around, I got some good stitching time in. It helped that the weather was rainy and gloomy and there were baseball games to watch on tv at home. OMG, it felt wonderful! And due to my efforts, I finished the Traveling Stitcher!!
I'm stitching this as a SAL with Carol R. I wonder how far along she is now. She may be done too. I'm not totally finished though since I still need to finish the little "Needles" piece which should be fast going. I think I will try to start that tonight. I am tempted to start looking through my Christmas ornie patterns as I signed up for an exchange and may do another if my local stitching group will in fact have a Christmas get together. There are tons of ornies that I want to stitch. It's just the finishing part that trips me up.

***
One more question...is anyone doing NaBloPoMo? I'm debating...but I don't think I have it in me this year.

Well, I best be going. I'm supposed to be dress shopping. The baseball game starts in 4 hours so I should run errands and shop and then it's time for baseball and another round of "stitch-ass".

Happy Halloween everyone...be safe!

Until next time...



34 comments:

KarenV said...

{{{Valerie}}} - I'm sorry you're feeling unappreciated by family, that's not nice.

You got some fabulous stash with your birthday discount! :D Looking forward to seeing your AotH next year.

Congratulations on finishing Travelling Stitcher, what a pretty finish!

Cath said...

Happy Stitch Ass.
You have my sympathies with your family situation .Whilst not the same , mine is not great either.
Love your finish ,and your new stash . Keep your chin up . XX

Stephanie M. said...

Hang in there, I have the reverse ins a my family. I am 18 years older then my brother so a lot falls on me because he is so much younger. I guess it all depends on the family dynamic.

On a fun note contact Acorns and Threads in Portland, Oregon. They always carry R & R so hopefully they will have what you need. Since they are in Oregon no sales tax...got to love that coming from good ole California.

Hope that helps....Stephanie in Southern California

April Mechelle said...

Here is a ((Hug)) for you! I have experienced the same thing with my family. I have 1 brother.. we live the same distance from our mother. I am the one that does it all. Quote" she does not want to bother him" Who is he a KING!!! LOL Your Birthday gifts are wonderful and I love that finish. Your blogging friends will always be here for you!! Just remember that.

Christina said...

Oh Valerie, I'm sorry about your family situation. It must be difficult being the 'baby' of the family, yet having so much responsibility.

When you mention Snoopy in your posts it reminds me of the Snoopy soft toy I had when I was about 8. I had lots of different outfits for him and my mam even knitted a few designs of her own for him - he was the best dressed Snoopy in town!

I love your new stash - what a haul!

I don't think I have the stamina to blog every day, it takes me hours to put a post together!

Margaret said...

Happy Halloween! Love your stash, love the presents, love your Traveling Stitcher finish! As for blogging every day -- I would go nuts trying! And bore everyone to boot! lol!

Natasha said...

Okay my first question is what is NaPlaBoMo sounds like either an exotic dish or a terrible disease LOL

I am sorry you are feeling unappreciated. I am sure they appreciate what you do for them but they are just not the verbaly "thanking" type.

I hope the Giants have a win tonight in honor of your Birthday Month :0) Take care and I am always a call or drive away.

Chris said...

Hey Valerie,
Family relationships are so hard. I am sorry that your parents are not more sensitive and appreciative. We moved away from my in laws due to some of those same issues. Sometimes absense makes the heart grow fonder. I hope that things improve for you!

Now as far the the stash!! It is all fabulous. I just got me Needlecraft corner coupon for my bday in November and I amd starting my list.

Have a great week!

Beth said...

I am sorry that you have a family who appears to not appreciate you. My mother used to treat me like I was a big loser and my brothers were wonderful. I found out after she died that they heard I was wonderful and they were losers. I guess that just was her way.

What great birthday presents you got and really wonderful stash haul!!

I think I am going to have to put the Traveling Stitcher on my list. I love what it says - so appropriate. You did a wonderful job of stitching it!!

Happy Halloween!

Anna van Schurman said...

Most of us do move away; we just don't admit to how much it has to do with getting away from our parents and having our own lives.

Melanie said...

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I hope things get better for you somehow. It sounds a lot like the situation with my mother-in-law. She suffers from narcissistic personality disorder - pathologically so, not in that "oh she just thinks of herself" way. It's a very very frustrating thing to deal with no easy answers.

Jackie said...

You're a good daughter and don't you dare think otherwise! No more pity party for you missy! [hugs]

WOW! Great stash acquisition! I hope you find the linen you're looking for.

Pumpkin said...

I'm sorry to hear about the relationship that you have with your parents. It sure sounds like they don't appreciate you. Unfortunately we can't pick our family. But just because they are family doesn't mean that you'll always agree. You're a great daughter!

LOVE all the stash you got! Using your birthday discount from NCC is a MUST for sure ;o)

Congrats on your finish!

Barb said...

I took the very first opportunity I had to move away and I am still far away from my family. It was the only way for me to get healthy. Hope my own kids don't feel like I did! And why is it that old people can be so stubborn? Let's hope we don't end up like that!

Great stash!

Cole said...

So sorry you're having a rough time with your family... it's never easy, is it?

Travelling sister looks fantastic, congrats on the finish! And great stash too!

Theresa said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggle with your family. It is not easy. Giving you a big hug!!!

Those stash you have there is amazing!!!!! I love your Traveling Stitcher, too!!!! So pretty~~~ Looking forward to see you finish it up!!

Sylvia said...

Family relationships are so hard sometimes, probably because we don't get to pick them. I must say that after moving to another continent, I feel so much better - my mom is a bear to deal with. Its one of those - "your brothers are so wonderful and you are so horrible" things. I have learned to draw some pretty heavy duty boundaries with her... my brothers don't get it and think I am a horrible daughter, but they are not on the receiving end of things. After a while, the guilt gets easier to deal with. Hang in there, I know its rough!

Love the stash you got - this month is my birthday month, and I always get some good stuff from Drema!! I am working on my list.

Lisa said...

{Hugs} for you Valerie,
I am sorry to hear that all your work, time and money spent taking care of your parents household while they were gone went unnoticed. Sometimes I think that parents feel that we owe them something. I know that my relationship with my parents is better since I moved away - thus, the time we are together...while it is never enough...it is appreciated now. Know in your heart that what you did was good whether your parents acknowledge it or not, because that might be the only appreciation you get (that is something that I have learned repeatedly; which has lessened the "Jewish Guilt" that I used to feel).

Looks like you have received some beautiful Birthday stash! Let me know if you do decide to go to NiaH.

Take care!

Giovanna said...

I'm so sorry that you're down in the dumps because of your unappreciative family - it can't be easy. Big hugs to you. Congrats on finishing Tarvelling Stitcher, it's so pretty!

Laura said...

Congratulations on finishing Travelling Stitcher! It looks great.

Sorry to hear about your troubles with the 'rents, but you are not alone. My poor father has a 95-year old mother who treats him like a slave. It's so awkward because on the one hand she's 95 and you should cut her some slack, right? But on the other hand she calls my dad day and night yelling at him and telling him he's useless and doesn't do enough for her. Sometimes it's almost comical from my perspective but I'm sure he probably feels the same way you do. Hang in there.

CarolG said...

Wow! Fabulous purchases! Try not to feel unappreciated - they probably don't even know they are doing it. My parents are both gone and I miss them terribly even after 20 and 28 years! My husband is one of 6 sons and his father lives about a mile from us. We have him for dinner every Sunday evening; my husband takes him to his doctors appts, etc., mows his grass, etc. but it is always the other sons he has wonderful things to say about. He got his Christmas present from his son that lives about 7 miles away in April last year but when he stops on his two or three annual visits you would think it was the second coming....he is deaf too - we finally got him to get a hearing aid but he returned it because it "didn't work". It makes you want to scream but I think there is a place in heaven for those who take care of aging parents. And maybe a place somewhere else for those who don't make time!

Le blog de marylin said...

your blog it's very nice
have a good day

marylin France

Natalia said...

Valerie, so sorry about your family problems... Families can be difficult, but hang in there and know that you are appreciated by many people. Things get better all the time and, as difficult as it is, you are honoring your parents even if they are not honoring you...

Oh I love your stash !!! That is a great idea, to start AOTH in January and do one of them every month. Maybe I'll stitch along !! I don't know of many stores that keep a big inventory of 40ct fabrics, but try The Inspired Needle, Cathy (the owner) is really great about getting fabrics for you. Hugs !!

Daffycat said...

Happy Halloween, Valerie!

Traveling Stitcher is an awesome finish! Looks amazing! As does your birthday stash.

I haven't decided on NaBloPoMo yet either. I've done it two Novembers in a row, though so I hate to break tradition. It's so damn hard...

natalie said...

Girl, I sooooo understand the parents/siblings thing. My family is so dysfunctional and negative that I broke it off with them five years ago. It's the best thing I ever did for myself. I have NEVER been happier. My childhood and teen years sucked big time- I won't even go into it. It was bad. All the way up to five years ago it continued to escalate until I WAS DONE!! BUH BYE! I could not continue to let myself be treated like that. I am so sorry your parents could only find something to criticize after all you did for them.

On happier things, your stash is great!

Carol R said...

Hugs to you re the family situation.

I feel ashamed to tell you that my Travelling Stitcher is not yet finished! I will own up to too much lazying around in the sun on the beach and by the pool! I did take it down to the pool yesterday but forgot to take my glasses with me but I did however put in a few stitches last night. Congratulations on finishing yours - it looks wonderful.

Christine said...

Love your blog. Your new stash is all beautiful. It's the 9th inning and the Giants are up by 2. Don't Stop Believing!

Missy Ann said...

(((Valerie)))

At the BBD class last week 3 ladies had their Anniversaries of the Heart stitched up (as far as is released at least) and they were gorgeous! I'm going to do the set for myself too.

Shelleen said...

Sorry about your family. Love all your new stash :-)

mbroider said...

The beginning of your post felt very bad dear.

Hope you get some 'free' time...

Your stash pics are making me v.hungry, LOL. Enjoy your stash!

Sally said...

{{{{hugs}}} Having family troubles myself I know just where you are coming from. Not easy but try and keep your chin up.

Your new stash is fantastic! I'm starting the BBD AotH in January, hopefully, do you fancy a SAL?

Love your Travelling Stitcher, this is another must stitch next year for me.

Katrina said...

Valerie, I hate that your parents aren't even a little bit grateful for all you've done for them :-(. Especially since you've had such a stressful time lately yourself {{{{hugs}}}}.

Great new stash and I love the traveling stitcher piece.

Julie said...

Lovely stash from the sale and from your friends

Congrats on finishing the TS, mine still needs to be made up, i seem to have been saying that for so long!

Whats that old saying 'you can choose you friends but not your family' {{big hug}}

Meari said...

I can totally relate to not having a family who appreciates the things you do. *hugs* If you ever need someone to vent to, feel free to email me.

Wow, girl. You did do some stashing!! How fun. You got some great stuff.