Wednesday, July 21, 2010

TUSAL & Single-dom

I'm back...with my TUSAL status report! I had really wanted to post this picture because look at my new acquisition!
Last week, I went to a quirky shop near work. So quirky, that their hours of operations sign says "attempted". Yea, well on my two attempts, they weren't open. That kind of drives me nuts! As I was standing outside seeing if I could leave a message for *them* to call *me* when they decide to be open, the owner walked up and let me in. She had cute stuff! I went in seeing if they had a possible birthday gift for a friend but instead I found this owl vase for me. I love it! It's actually a pitcher but I think I'll be using it as a vase. Isn't it cool?

There's my TUSAL jar. I missed the new moon and then the computer ate my picture. I mean if it's not one thing, it's another. It's getting pretty full. Go me! I find that very impressive since I don't feel like I'm really stitching all that much.

Everything else is a-ok. I'm trying not to be a big whiner because in the grand scheme of things, I'm pretty lucky. In the last couple of weeks, I've encountered people who are unemployed or have serious medical conditions. If all I have to deal with is house-sitting, meeting new people and single-dom...then I'm better than most.

But I will whine about single-dom. It's funny how people have already been asking if I've been out on dates. I think it's a little soon but will admit I made my profiles active. Frustratingly, I completely erased one two years ago because I thought I had met *the one* and now I'm kicking myself since setting one of those things up is akin to, I don't know, something really drawn out and painful. Especially when you've got writer's block about yourself and are having a hard time expressing what you want. So far, it's all been painful and as I browse profiles, I really think that these medium is *not* going to work for me this time around. I'm casting my net in an empty lake.

I tell my married friends they are lucky they don't have to deal with being single business. I'm told married people have their own set of issues. I believe that but you are not dealing with the following:
~Guys that email you just to say hi (uh, can you say more to me than that?! Seriously, the email just says "hi")
~Guys that get upset with you because you don't have the IM function on (I hate IM!)
~ Guys that are ready for a long term relationship after being single for a year and a half and are so ready to find llluuuvvvvvv! (Dude, I'm so not there yet, didn't you read my profile?!)
~Guys that are only looking for a casual hook-up and by that, I don't mean a casual date to the coffee shop.
~Guys sending you winks (this is an online thing; not in real life) - it is the lazy man's way of getting attention. Wink, wink, I think you're cute...look at my profile and if you think I'm cute, you email me. For reals?! What is this...first grade? If guys think a girl is cute, they should send an email stating that or pull something out of the profile and talk about it. (ex: Oh I see you really like movies, I just saw **** and thought***, have you seen it? What are some of your #1 is ***). Ahhh, something to talk about! After being the one with the balls the last go round (and uh, being the girl here), it'd be nice if guys would actually take a chance and write a sentence or two.
~Old guys...not old enough to be my dad or anything (cuz, you I'm getting old) but enough to give me the ebbie jeebies.
~Some guy who you talked to years ago and then signs up for the same event as you. Ummm, awkward and kind of un-nerving.
~And have I mentioned that I can't even shop at my local grocery store because an ex works there. It's not as simple as that either. It involves me meeting him in the workplace, dating him, him being a cheater, me ending up being his boss, him being a poor performer and me having to fire him. Ten years later, he's at my neighborhood store. Joy! Seriously, what they say about dating where you work is true. But I can't say that in all seriousness since work is how I met my first love. Mr. Ex (not the first love) did all the grocery shopping. Now I have to grocery shop in the next town over. I know I can be an adult and suck it up and shop at my local store but I'd rather escape that drama altogether and grocery shop in peace when I finally get around to stocking my fridge.

There's more but now my head hurts from thinking about all this.

Well, shoot! I said I wasn't going to whine! Well, that was my whine for the week.

I'll come back soon. I actually figured out my crochet (finally!) AND started a new project. I'll share soon!

Until next time...


Natasha said...

OH BOY! I also would probably shop at a different store if I knew an EX worked at the pther one especially if I no longer talked to him.

My friend in Denver does the online dating thing and said all she gets are weirdos,she thinks that you really need to be out doing what you love to meet people. Maybe you can enroll into a swing class :) You like that right and your just dancing with other people nothing serious.

I think if I were to gte divorced tomorrow which I wont cause hes stuck with me LOL I would be single for life. LOL I cant deal with most people. Maybe its my profession but I have little tolerance for certain things LOL

I will for sure call you when I get back into town. A girls night out is in order. Food Drinks and BS'ing
Talk to you soon and take Care

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Margaret said...

Love your owl vase! So cool! I have to say I don't envy you all that single stuff. That ex! How unfortunate! Think positive though. Things will happen at the right time.

Melanie said...

Ok, just reading all that scares the crap out of me. lol I met my husband at age 19, didn't know DIDDLY about how to date 'well' back then and would probably be 100 times worse at it now. I cringe just thinking about it. (But, on the other hand, there's something to be said, maybe, about first kisses? ;))

Jackie said...

Congrats on mastering the crochet!

Great vase. I love the flowers too. What are they?

Married or single, all relationships have their challenges. Even happy relationships.

Lisa said...

When I first saw the photo, I thought the owl pitcher was a fish (the opening being the fish mouth...kind of looked like fish eating flowers)...but now that you said it is a owl, it makes more sense :) Just had to share that with you, sorry.

I think that I got married before all the online stuff started...just be careful (don't I sound like a mother). Take care.

Hope to get together soon!

Melissa said...

I'm not an owl person, but that pitcher/vase is adorable! I feel your pain on the whole online dating thing. I set up a profile 6 years ago after my marriage ended and was quickly annoyed by the whole process for the same reasons you enumerated. I love technology and all, but I ended up deleting my profile a few months later because I realized that was likely not going to be the way for me to meet someone. Of course, here I am 6 years later still living in single-dom. ;-P

Anonymous said...

I agree with Margaret, things *will* happen at the right time :) I met my DH at a social group I had joined to get over my ex (who joined the same group - can you say awkward? LOL!). I wasn't really looking for anyone, just to get out and have some fun instead of sitting in on my own every night, but we met at a NYE party ...and the rest is history, as they say :) I must say that I wouldn't like to be dating now and if anything happened to DH or we split up, then I shall just become a crazy cat lady! ;)

Did you start Simple Joys yet BTW?

Jan said...

I think you should shop at your local store...he has had time to move on and you've dated other men and changed as well. Guys don't seem to feel awkward about the same things as we do. The dance class is a great idea but I would inquire about the average age of the class participants. Also find a good local hang out where you can go on your own. This is how I met my husband,he was a friend of a friend. I agree with the person who said that even happy marriages have challenges. From reading your blog I can tell you have many great qualities you just have not met the best guy for you yet! Jan

Carol said...

Oh, Valerie, my sister is single and dating (at age 48) and she has shared some of the things (and photos) that have popped into her mailbox via the dating site. Many are from real weirdos and some are just downright unbelievable/funny! I keep telling her to try another way to meet people...

Your little owl vase is so cute--I'm sure you'll go back to that quirky shop. Sounds like fun :)

Laura said...

If it makes you feel any better, when I go grocery shopping I very often run into my husband's ex-wife's current husband. Awkward. He's nice but he's one of those touchers who has to touch you on the shoulder or squeeze your arm or rub your back when he's talking to you. He also likes to tell me about any problems he and my husband's ex are having. Don't care. Go touch someone else buddy, I just need teddy grahams.

Love that owl vase. I will try to post my TUSAL today or tomorrow. Keep forgetting about it.

Tammy said...

I think just trying to get with people and trying to stay with people (aka, married life) is just so dang difficult alltogether, lol. Sometimes, I would love to just worry about myself and leave everyone else to do their own thing. I would take myself to a beach location and just dissapear into the resort life!!

Hazel said...

Whine away. I might join you. Although married I'm as lonely as hell.

Danielle said...

LOVE the owl vase. Way cool. I feel your pain about online dating. Before I met BF I had a profile and the whole experience was just horrible. Ugh. And I totally get you about guys that are old enough to be your father OR OLDER!!!! Enjoy your single-dom now, where you can do what you want and you don't have to tell anyone else where you are going or what you're doing or pick up after anyone else either, or just basically explain ANYTHING about yourself to anyone.

Valerie said...

Ooohh, I love the owl eccentric and cool! Glad to see your TUSAL jar is getting fuller...that means stitching is getting accomplished!

BTW, I know it is hard being single. I remember feeling like I had a disease or something. I especially appreciated the questions like "Why aren't you married?" or "I'm surprised someone hasn't scooped you up yet!" or my favorite, "You will find the right person, one day." I remember thinking, PLEASE, STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE I AM DAMAGED GOODS! Sometimes I felt like I was the animal at the pound who could not get adopted. I thank the good Lord above everyday that I found my husband. It really IS a jungle out there and reading your blog brought back so many singledom memories. I remember finally getting to the point where I was fine being was a hell of a lot better than being with the wrong person and at least I knew that I could live with me! Stay positive and keep up your wicked sense of brings a smile to so many faces!

Pumpkin said...

LOVE the owl pitcher/vase!!!!

I'm sorry but I have to agree with you Valerie. I'm glad I'm not in your shoes because I don't 'want' to know what it's like to be single and older. Honestly though, I think things happen when you're not looking for it. Maybe try that approach. You might be surprised ;o)

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Missy Ann said...

I know it's not funny, but it's funny you have to go the next town over to shop.

Love the owl, he's so pretty with flower sprouting from his head.


Julie said...

The owl is lovely.

Bring back the pen and paper, real nice men dont mind taking time to write you a letter, that takes thought and efort!

Meari said...

I have to say that I've experienced the exact same things you mentioned about online dating. Annoying, isn't it? At least you're not alone. What site do you use?