Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I'm Too Tired for My Life!

So completely and utterly so! I think back to the days when I had all the time in the world and was so upset that my life was devoid of entertainment. Those days that I was home more nights than I was out and that I trolled around online trying to find a way to entertain myself. Now...I'm lucky to have an evening to myself. I miss it...more than anyone can know. I know that part of it has to do with me and my inability to say *No*. I hate to disappoint and so I overbook myself. Not that I am totally complaining. I enjoy the time I spend out with my friends and my *you never know* mentality always tries to accomodate the strange men that I meet online. Some of these guys were gems and others were duds.

Sometimes I wonder why I stretch myself so thin. I know I am low energy. I know I need at least three nights a week to myself to catch up on home stuff, online stuff and vegging around to watch tv stuff. I need it! It helps me completely function and if I do not have these evenings to myself...I become an anxious, stressed out basketcase. Literally! And that is now my existance. There are a lot of things I miss...

*I miss having awesome, popcorn munching, couch potatoing nights on the futon watching mindless tv...by myself.

*I miss going on aimless walks in the city...and actually attempting to be healthy and exercise and do power walks.

*I miss catching all the movies I am curious about at the theater...instead of on video.

*I miss knitting...I can't even remember the last time I picked up the sticks!

*I miss stitching and in my hopes to get back into it, I ordered a birth announcement kit to make for my cousin who is expecting her first. She has always asked me to stitch something for her. I hope and wonder if I will finish it in time. 4 months? I may be screwed. I'll trust in hopeful thinking and that I'll run into a slow phase soon.

*I miss having everything the way I want it even if it isn't necessarily dust-free. My apartment is always a work in progress. It's starting to look great...but not terrific. I want terrific.

*I miss my dad...I guess I miss my mom too...just not the complaining. I am happy they are coming back soon.

*I miss having someone to cuddle on the couch and be lazy with. Part of the reason I am so busy is because I am in search of a couch cuddler. Who knew a good one was so hard to find!?

*I miss having all my friends closeby...and I miss going out with all of them.

*I miss being able to blog on a semi-regular basis.

*I miss being a kid but I'm realistic. Obviously that can't be changed! I just miss being carefree...damn responsibility!!

Yea...I miss a lot of things...and I am really, really tired!

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