Hope everyone had a nice weekend. I've been feeling out of sorts for the past month. Being scatterbrained and so tired and pulled in a lot of directions. I've gotten some comments that I sound overwhelmed and I guess that I am. I've been feeling the distance between me and my friends and the increased need for attention my elderly parents are exhibiting. I think I'd be able to handle it all better if I had a support network. But I don't...it's just me taking care of everything. It's sad to have this feeling that everyone needs or wants something from me but when I need or want anything, I have to do it myself because no one else is going to do it for me. I want to go in one direction and am forced into another...trying to appease others at the risk of neglecting myself. And because I want to beat to the tune of my own drum, I feel kind of guilted. That Catholic guilt will kill you, you know...or at least force you into the scary white jacket and padded room.
And even though I love San Francisco, I often daydream of picking up and moving far away from here so I can finally have a life of my own, with less responsibility. And time to recapture the creative drive that is so incredibly stunted. I can follow a pattern but at this point, that's about it. The dreams about designing and owning a small little sanctuary for stitchers are just that...dreams...because my energies and focus are elsewhere.
So, I'm in a "nobody gets it" mood. Nobody gets why I am so stressed and sad and frustrated and resentful. Least of all, the people who are making me feel this way. When I feel this way, I need silence and alone time. My chirpiness decreases; my hermit tendencies increase and I focus more on my stitching since it's what I do at home.
So my stitching has been coming along.
I finished my Heart in Hand Little Angel in the Clouds. I think it's so cute! I will have to restitch soon with a pale lavender heart instead of the tan. I also stitched a little gift for my penpal. She has intermittent internet so hopefully she doesn't see this! I stitched Blackbird Designs Bluebird on a scrap of 32 count platinum with GAST Brethren Blue. I'm debating whether I want to add pins and buttons.
Well, I sent off my shears to get sharpened a couple of weeks ago and I realize I don't have any scissors to cut fabric other than those. I guess I better hunt down a Joann's or Michael's coupon so I can buy a backup pair. So no finishing for me...yet. I can't even cut my fabric down!
And I started on the border for BBD Valentine Rose last night. I wasn't supposed to start until February but with the absence of fabric shears, I decided to at least be productive. Plus, I am taking a Sandie Vandosdall class with my Sampler Guild in March and I hear there's pre-stitching. I don't even have my kit yet...I wonder how much stitching I have to do! So I had better get a move on on my personal stitching so I can drop everything once I receive my kit.
It doesn't look like much for now. This block has a huge house that needs to be built! Maybe by the weekend, I'll have some house to show...if I can squeeze some stitching in between the responsibilities.
So...don't be surprised if I'm not as chirpy as usual. I am trying to find my happy place. It's quite hard with the constant interruptions and such but I'm trying.
Thanks for all the entries for my surprise! There are some new blogs I need to check out. I really enjoyed the responses to my questions. I've got lots of movies to add to my Netflix queue. I'll answer my own questions on Thursday when I announce the winner. Movies and travel are two things that make me happy besides stitching and I am trying to reacquaint myself with both.
Well, I think I'm going to head to bed early tonight. Hope you all are having a good start to the week.
Until next time...