Phone-a-Phobia

Ok, I have to admit that I am phone-a-phobic. I'm sure that most of my friends have realized this as I opt for email conversations versus phone conversations. Let me explain a little something...after being a customer service slave for the largest hotel in San Francisco for over three years, you get a little gun, uh, I mean...phone shy. You can only take so many people calling you to complain, coming up to you to complain or the guillatine of the service industry, made to go out and listen to someone bitch you out and complain in a lobby full of employees and guests. Lovely...NOT!! So given the option of choice in communication, I pick email because God and everyone else knows I am so fun and witty in written form but in person, or over the phone...it takes me a little while to be "on". To have the cute and witty (for dating) or the fun and sarcastic (for friends). Probably because I am waiting for someone to complain and trying to figure out a good excuse for whatever stupid reasoning is going to come out of someone's mouth.

It has been 4 years since my "slavery" years...but now I have the clients that say "how come such and such terminated"..."um, maybe because you didn't PAY!" I do not understand how the simple task of paying a bill is lost on so many people and who do they expect to fix it for them? Of course...ME! That's what I am here for...making sure that all 400 clients know when to pay, what to sign and remind them what they need to pay and why they need to sign. Dear clients...it would really f-in help me if you would 1.) OPEN your mail and 2.) read it AND reply. Never thought I would be a babysitter to grown-ups! Typical scenario is:

Me: Dear client, here's an email (or letter) I sent you last month to complete your desired transaction. I never heard from you so I am assuming you are NOT interested in moving forward.

Client: Oh no...I DO want to move forward. Please send me the forms and let me know what I need to do.

Me: Dear client, as my email or letter states, the forms are attached...please sign and return, let me know if these facts are still the same and send me a check for x amount.

Client: Ok, I have the forms...where do I send them?

Me: *Fax number is provided*, Dear client, what are the answer to my questions? *info provided from client* ok, great, I'll look for the fax and will wait for the check.

Later in the day...

Client: How much is the check supposed to be for and to whom and where do I send it?

Me: Dear client, as my email stated, this is the amount, you make it out to so and so and it has to get to me.

OMG!! Don't people read? And how do people who make 10x more than me 1.) survive in this world and 2.) make that much friggen money IF they can't read a simple email WITH instructions?? So after a few calls or scenarios like that from clients and my boss, I'm burnt out and just want to sit in a daze in front of the tv and decompress. Quiet can do wonders you know...but quiet puts the phone on the sidelines and the computer within reach.

I realize I am bad about phoning when I notice that it's been days, weeks or months since I have spoken to so and so...but it's even more in my face when you are trying to "talk" to a phone person when you are an email person. Guy #3 is a phone person in a big way and I am an email person in a big way. He hates email and I love it. He loves phone and I have to be in a "mood" for phone and when I am, he's not around and that makes for a fun (not really) round of phone tag. Makes communicating a little difficult...IM and text messages have surged to the forefront. Two forms of communication I haven't really used before but since I classify it as "quiet" communication...I'm adapting wondrously. It's a good compromise...for now.

For you curious folks, yes, Guy #3 and I have talked since fabulous date #1...via a 2 hour IM fest and a few text messages via cell phone. We are supposed to see each other on Thursday. Keep your fingers crossed!

I do realize that I need to get over my phone-a-phobia though...it's not healthy and can make the dating game a little harder. So if I happen to call to chat, please don't fall down in your utter disbelief and confusion...the catholic guilt will set in that I really let *that* much time pass by and/or that you hurt yourself falling down from your disbelief of me calling. And then I'll associate calling you with "remember, that time I called and you fell down and had to be rushed to the hospital?" I really don't need that on my conscience, ya know. So you've been warned...and please pick up! My 12 year old sounding voice doesn't like the answering machine either...because, well...I sound 12.

It's all about baby steps...baby steps towards picking up the phone and calling people...maybe even you!