Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Can You Feel the Love?

So I was about to head home from work yesterday when I decided to check my email one last time. I was surprised to see an email from my brother. We don't write very often...for reasons you'll see illustrated below. This is what he had to say:

hello, i am here in nicaragua. my parents anniversaryis july 2, sis and her family is coming down on the3rd my mom will be coming. my dad is staying tillseptember. the airfares are outrageous, but we arethrowing a party for them that weekend in san juan delsur. you should try to come for a week.please dont whine. it only happens once. youprobably wont have to come again till there is afuneral.

OMG! Can you feel the love. I often wonder if I am adopted. People wonder why I am angsty towards my family and willing to adopt almost anyone else's? This is why! I've often dreamed that I was adopted but frankly, I am close to being a spitting image of my girl form, or course...and have the insane paleness of my mom. Oh, and me and my brother pretty much look similar except he has the priveledge of tanning and I get to bake, turn red, peel and start the insane cycle again.

Do you notice the amount of times he used "my" in a 5 line email? "My parents"...ummm, hellow! my parents too...they are OUR parents! So possessive! "My dad"..."My mom". They are OUR mom and OUR dad. He is 20...yes, 20 years older than me. You'd think he would have figured out this crap by now.

"We are throwing them a party". We are? We who? Um...shouldn't I be included in the planning of this as they are also my parents? WTF?! It'd be nice to be in the loop..I am ONLY YOUR sister. God forbid...I be included in this shit.

"Please don't whine". Oh, WTF!? I do not whine. I state facts. Sometimes they may be in the negative like, I don't really want to go because I don't have $800 for the fare. He sees that as whining. I see that as fact. And seriously, I cannot help having an, at times, nasally voice. Be thankful I don't sound like "The Nanny". Nasally = whiny SOUNDING. Not whining! So fuck off! Sheesh...I do not like being hasseled as the youngest and a girl.

Oh, and bringing up funerals are not cool...why is he thinking about that stuff. I would rather not think about my parents and their death and the consequent trip to Nicaragua when that happens. Hopefully not anytime soon *knock on wood*.

So in 5 loving brother has managed to irritate me and send me into an anxiety frenzy because a trip to Nicaragua means a lot of things. Costly when I have no money, loads of family = no privacy, time off from work, interrupting my newly established job search...but it also means, seeing family I haven't seen in over 4 years, sun, beach, hopeful tan and a getaway from SF.

So after two days of trying to figure out if my loving (i'm being sarcastic when I say that too!) brother was going to front the money for my ticket which would probably take me months to pay off considering my money situation OR I wasn't going to go. But I found a loophole. I can use my miles for a partnering airline and go for free which...does wipe out all my miles...but that is ok. So I am off to Nicaragua for one full week in July.

Now I gotta figure out my mom's flight arrangements considering she is the other half of the party we are celebrating. Stupid brother...he only plans half of the shit. Seriously, how can I be related?! If he gives me shit on my trip, I am flat out kicking him in the ass and he can go spouting off to the family. I don't give a shit. "MY" dad will always side with me. Alhtough I DO get the lecture about sometimes needing to be the "bigger person". WTF does that mean?! He's OLDER...he should be the "bigger person".

Whatever...seriously...can you feel the love?


Anonymous said...

Props to you for not sending him an e-mail in all caps or leaving an angry message on his voice mail after reading those five lines. I'd be seriously pissed off if my brother ever pulled similar crap. Hope your trip will be a fun one. --AM

Anonymous said...

The "My" stuff is a little off kilter. I actually thought you made a copying error or something. I even read it twice. Your brother has some issues eh? Not only does his writing style need some work, but he seems to be insane as well. Valerie, when are you going to write a tv pilot about your family?


Kelster said...

The frog and I talked it over with Fuzzle. We are prepared to adopt you when you are ready :)