Thursday, June 09, 2005

How I Feel

I know, I guys are dying to know how my date with V#3 went last night. The date was great but I have a lot of mixed emotions about this guy. We get along wonderfully! We did in email, we do over the phone. I become super chatty and feel like I could talk to him forever about complex issues like the ecomony in third world countries and also about everyday, mundane things like the weather and what I did on any given day. Good thing is that he is as chatty about similar topics as I am so it's not one sided.

We met at a trendy bar *not my pick*. I don't do trendy all that great. I do dive fantastically. I mean dive bars...not dive as in head first into a pool. Yea right...I barely swim, forget diving. What? Oh yea, meet at this bar. It's raining...again. It always seems to rain when I have one of these meet and greets. Why?! So I am standing outside in a nearby doorway, with my umbrella tucked in low near my head waiting for V#3 to show up because there is a private party at this bar until 8pm, which is the time we decided to meet. I look up and there is V#3 right in front of me as I blow a big bubble with my gum. Nice...yea, I got the timing. Whatever...I think he barely noticed. He's cute, he's stylish...he's on time. Awesome. We head into the bar and don't leave until three hours later. We had a fantastic time! We talked and talked and there was no real lag. He even said at some point that "what do you do if one of these things go well?" Ummm...well, you set up another date! So we have another date tentatively set up for next Monday.

So why do I feel so "eh"? He's great...I like him..he seems to like me...we hit it off fantastically...we can talk...we have common interests and experiences. So what's the problem?! Yea, the problem...what I have been thinking about for the past week. I keep telling myself not to get "latched on" to V#3 because he's new. He's new to SF...he has a new job based out of NY but he's setting up the SF office for the company...he'll be traveling a lot...he's new to match....he's back in the dating scene after a long time not really dating. So he's new. He's told me that he's overwhelmed with match and the online dating scene yet he is ALWAYS online. I know he's juggling but I don't know how many. I DO know that one is "out of the running" because he had a bad date on Tuesday. I was only the second meet and greet he's EVER had (OMG!!! I've been on the site way too fricking long!). I'm sure this is still super exciting to him since it's new and he wants to "see what else is out there". He didn't tell me this...this is all the stuff flying around in my head. I mean, isn't that the guy mentality anyways. To roam the pastures and see what else is out there?

But the emotional investment is there because we did spend 2.5 weeks emailing and talking on the phone before we actually met. Two and a half weeks is a really long time in the online world. All I know is that I need to emotionally distance myself from him but still have a good time until I can sense where things are or he actually tells me where I stand. For the time being, I will "go with the flow", send mini emails, have little phone conversations and see where date #2 on Monday night will lead me.

I think I will do the dating and match thing until the end of the month. Then I go on vacation for a week and will be back mid-July. And I am going to focus on other things like the job search, picking up the books and the sticks (knitting ones that is). I've got enough things to keep me busy and at the moment, I'm getting pretty f-in frazzled with it all right now and a tired of playing the mind games dating involves in the beginning.

So that's how I stories are coming to a close at the end of the month for a while and you'll get to hear about boring stuff like real estate crap for the course I will take and what a pain knitting can sometimes be. It is NOT "relaxing" when you make mistakes and mess up!


Kelster said...

It sounds like you are basking in the afterglow of a nice date while trying to brace yourself with getting dumped.

Sounds like this dating thing is not fun nor relaxing for you anymore. Is there anyone who could possibly come along who you would not meet and be preparing to part ways with? If this is your attitude, then you are wasting everyone's time.

I think you are right in taking a break. Get back to Valerie for awhile. So you are single for a bit longer? You are single now. At least you will be doing what you enjoy rather than wasting time on freaks.

You are also falling into that trap of feeling pressured to be coupled. STOP IT! There is nothing wrong with you. You are a wonderful person (you think i stay in touch with just ANYONE from 600 miles away?) who has a lot to offer to the right mate. Match is turning into a marathon of tossing pearls to swine. Not that there is anything wrong with the men on Match (as a rule), just that the ones you are meeting are not a

valerie said...

I know...I'm done! I can't deal with it anymore. I feel completely drained. I'll juggle the folks I'm currently talking to and seeing to see where it goes but I am tired of my face being on the internet.

Only 20 more days of match and I am taking my profile down for the weekend for some peace and quiet. Let's see if I get bored...the one drawback. Boredom!