In Search of Change

Alright...I am trying again with hopefully, better success. I need a new job. I am tired. Tired of feeling unappreciated, overtasked and underpaid. I'm struggling living by myself in the big, mean city and honestly, I know I am worth more. It's just a matter of selling myself and making someone realize that.

So if anyone hears of any cool leads or opportunities, please, please, pretty pu-lease...send them my way!

Blast From The Past...Again!?!

Ok...sorry I have NO stories! I didn't hit my quota of three dates this week. In fact, the last date I had was last week with Tiara Man and I never heard back from him. Whatever. It's no biggie. But no dates means no dating stories. Plus, I am not knitting so I have no frustrating dropped stitches and tangled in yarn stories. And my days have been busy with boring stuff like seeing the ex...like an idiot, visiting a grad party with a migraine...very painful!, visiting my old boss and his new baby and eating a ton. I feel FAT! But what else is new. I've decided I am hitting "the wall". You know the one everyone says you'll hit at 30 when "everything goes". I am NOT letting that happen. I am cute dammit and I am not letting 30 take it away! I just need to exercise and lose these 5-7 pounds that will NOT go away! Go away dammit! And people...stop giving me brownies and foccacia and all that other fattening stuff. I mean...I can only be so strong when you are waving bread or sweets in my face! And I swear the dust bunnies in my apartment are mutating into these little people in the middle of the night who take my pants down to the dryer and shrink them. They have some sort of special power though because they only seem to shrink width-wise and never length wise.* So I have to start on my walking regime. And C... you calling me at work while YOU are walking does not mean I am walking...I'm at WORK. And you telling me to walk isn't going to work either because I need to get into this walking regime again and that means that I need YOU to go WITH me cuz otherwise, I'll think about it and then decide I can't change my lazy existence and just sit on the futon and watch tv. I am so lazy, I don't even flip the futon considering the right side of it is considerably flatter than the left side since I only sit on MY side...being the right.

Wait...this wasn't where I was going with this post. Blast from the Past...It was weird enough bumping into Larry Bird Lookalike last week but again! Now really...very, very strange. Me and C were at a favorite breakfast spot and we sat down and can be pretty oblivious. So we were chatting until I realized there was a baby sitting with the couple next to me. I look over at baby, lean back to look at the "dad" and OMG, it's old buddy Larry Bird Lookalike. A little strange to bump into each other 2x in a week. I met his wife, met baby...cute! and just chitchatted but let him be since I wanted to catch up on my week and enjoy breakfast. But it's all very weird.

Otherwise...no real stories..It's been a busy weekend but nothing to really chat about here...

* recommendations for cleaning people gladly received to take care of mutant dust bunny situation.

Blast From The Past

So today, with earphones on and walking along to my music in search of lunch, I saw a blast from the past. My "Larry Bird" lookalike friend from college. Good guy, lots of fun, married now with a cute baby girl. I wave from down the street. He is with a coworker and he stops to say hi and gives me a hug and asks for a business card since he is running to a meeting. Of course, I am apprehensive about seeing him because back in December, I dated his friend and I don't know if Larry Bird Lookalike knows that I went out with Tall Guy M. And who knows what Tall Guy M may have said to Larry Bird Lookalike. Tall Guy M broke it off with me after like 2 dates. Hhmmm...now that I think about it...all these 6'4" guys break it off after two dates. Mr. Sandman, Tall Guy M and Mr. D. Weird...must stay away from 6'4" guys...they are bad news...and they are fucking wasting my time! Anyways...it was nice to see him but I am worried about getting a funky email from him saying "so I hear you went out with Tall Guy M and said blah de blah!" Crap...that is a all I need. Although Tall Guy M left it on good terms considering the friend we have in common (Larry Bird Lookalike, c'mon people...you really need to keep up here!) and the intense liklihood that we may bump into each other at a college bball game. So far...it hasn't happened but you never know.

What Do You Think??

So I have been thinking about this lately...as I have been dating like mad and I notice that it keeps happening. My name is Valerie and everyone shortens my name to Val. It doesn't bother me that my friends call me that. I've known most and many for years, I am used to it and I respond. I know it rolls off the tongue. But it bothers me when GUYS I am DATING shorten my name to Val after maybe one or two dates WITHOUT asking if it is ok. Am I making a big deal out of this? In reality, when dating a guy, I would prefer the guy call me by my given name. To me it seperates the relationship from a *just friends* relationship to a *dating* relationship. Yet, guy after guy, calls me Val and I don't really like it. When I encounter a Michael, Richard, Robert, Anthony, David, or Nicholas, I always ask "do you go by Michael or Mike; Richard or Rick; Anthony or Tony; David or Dave; or Nicholas or Nick. I admit that I sometimes prefer the shorter version of a male name but I ASK what they prefer...I don't presume. And I call them what they want me to call them.

I think about "The Ex" and he called me Valerie and I appreciated it. I think at one point I told him he could call me Val and he said he liked calling me Valerie and would stick with that. I think in his mind, he felt that calling me Val would be a step too far into the "friends" realm and calling me by my given name was a "respectful, this is a serious relationship" sign. I could of course be coming up with this stuff out of the sky. But it makes sense to me so I'll stick with it. Although he also preferred being called by the long version of his name.

So how do I get these guys to call me Valerie. I sign my name to *dating* emails as Valerie...I introduce myself as Valerie and I have never, ever said to ANY of these guys, "Hi, I'm Valerie but you can call me Val". So where do they get off with the shortening to casual pal Val? I don't understand....what do you all think?

The $4 Date...

I don't care how much a guy spends on me on a meet and greet and if you can fulfill a cool atmosphere and be able to buy me two vodka tonics (yummmmmmmmmmm!!) for $4...that is awesome in itself! At $4, there are no expectations other than getting to know you and have a few laughs.

In my bummed out and ticked off mood Friday night, I reposted on CL and got a few responses despite posting in the non-optimal time of a friday night. Depsite that, I got a response from Tiara Man. I'll call him that because the picture he sent me with his reply sported him wearing a tiara as a "honorary bridesmaid" for whatever friends bridal shower.

We talked, we laughed..he's cuter than that stupid picture and he's also skinnier than I expected. But I have so much respect for a guy who will show up to a meet and greet in torn jeans and an old tee shirt. You wanna know why?! Because that means I can dress as casual as I frigging want and he told me that off the bat. So I showed up in my classic jeans and a tank top with a hoodie. Love hoodies...the classic sign of comfort for a girl...short of the yoga capris.

Do I know if I have a second date on the horizon with Tiara Man? Nope. Do I care...Nope. Why..because I'm here to date around and I am the third girl in a weekend out of my circle that has been given the "brush off" by a "match.com man". Guys are frigging stupid! So I may as well go with the flow and have fun. Tm said he had a busy week before we even met so definitely not holding my breathe.

On the other hand...I have another lunch date with DB. He resurfaced...and I know he is way into me. I stopped by to say hi during his gig today and he was so happy to see me. It made me smile just to see him light up and the hug and kiss on the cheek he gave me as a greeting took me by surprise. I just need to determine how into him I am. Tuesday's lunch may help me figure it out.

Just me..playing the dating game until I have THE reason to stop

He IS Out of My League

...at least that is what I am telling myself. Why else would I get a call today at 5pm so that he could give me the "brush off". The classic " I had a great time with you but I don't think it would work out" line. He's realized that he is out of my league and he should be dating some Junior League chick. I'm telling you...I KNEW it! Yea, I was told to get it out of my head and I did and had an awesome time and thought HE had an awesome time...but obviously..it must have been all one sided if I was looking forward to a possible third date and he was trying to figure out how to give me the brush off.

Karma is a bitch! I have done this brush off to guys who have been in the same situation as me. They are having a great time and there is me, trying to figure out how to get out of the cat-stench apartment or the bad kissing situation. Crap! I guess it's my due this time around...it's just been a while. I forgot what it felt like. To hear the I'm not into you...when you are into them. But I DO give him credit...at least he called to tell me and didn't leave me hanging and wondering. That shit will drive any sane woman crazy and well...I'm far from sane!

So I was surprised...but not totally. Now I am bummed and feel like that girl on the "crushed" postcard on my damn refrigerator. As much as I want to just crawl into bed, sleep for days and forget that I was starting to really like this guy...I'm gonna pick myself up, brush myself off and get back into the game. Ugh...the game. I am really tiring of the dating game...but better to play the game than stay at home all the frigging time.

So I best cut this short so I can write some "witty and cute" emails to future potentials. Gotta pack the social calendar.

My Japanese Adventure

So my first date with Mr. D was to Moracco..well, in a way...we went to a moraccan restaurant so last night's adventure was to Japan. It was a lot of fun and he seems to like to hold out on the details so it's a "surprise" when he picks me up. He called me from two blocks away to let me know that he was close by and I gathered my stuff together and went downstairs. He pulled up just I got to the door. Perfect timing! He gave me a kiss hello, opened the car door and I commented on his "hong kong style" jacket. He said he was dressed for the theme of the evening. Hey, what if I wanted to dress in theme?! So he picked a japanese restaurant over near the Embarcadero and the atmosphere and dinner were great! The restaurant was the nicest, trendiest japanese restaurant I have ever seen, let alone been in. I told Mr. D what I liked and he ordered enough food and hot sake to get us through dinner and our conversation. The original plan was to have dinner and then go to the comedy club nearby but when we thought to look at the time...it was already 10pm. That's just as well. I was more than happy to just sit there in the restaurant and talk and get to know each other better. Plus I am a slow eater...you're not gonna get me to happily scarf down food to try and rush to make a show. It just doesn't happen anymore.

So we ate, laughed and talked lots. At some point, I noticed that the two girls sitting at the table next to us were making eyes in Mr. D's direction. Oh hellow, so obviously on a date...take your little looks elsewhere please. But he didn't even notice which was nice and at some point he made some comment about being borderline attractive so I decide to give him the little ego boost of letting him in on the looky-loo girls who had been sitting next to us. He hadn't even noticed but said "I hope you noticed who I was paying attention to!". Awww...that'd be me! We talked a bit more and then this server came up to us with a cosmo neither of us ordered and I said "it's them girls!" and we both cracked up. The server got the wrong table besides a cosmo is SUCH a girl drink! So much so...I rarely have one! Too girly...and everyone knows I don't play into the girlie mentality. After we finished dinner, we migrated to the bar and had a couple of cocktails and it was so comfortable just sitting there together, bodies so close we're almost touching but not and just talking and laughing up a storm. I think I got more laugh lines from all the smiling and laughing! We closed out the restaurant and got the keys from the valet and as he was walking towards the car, I go "I thought we were going to walk." So walk we did. It wasn't the ideal weather to be walking around in...that foggy mist that slowly coats your clothes and hair in this fine wet moisture. And I also wasn't wearing the best shoes for it either. I figure with Mr. D being 6'4", I can take full advantage of wearing my heels and I had my 4" strappy "Vegas" sandals on. If I fell down...I was gonna fall down hard from that height! Ha! Thank gawd I didn't fall...a huge feat considering my track record. But I wasn't ready to call the night to an end and I don't think he was either. It was pretty warm in the bar and we just had a couple of drinks. Better to walk around in the cool air and just take it all in. So we walked along the water...talked about this and that. And despite my 4" heels, as I was brought in for the classic bear hug *sigh...so love those* I was the perfect height for him to rest his chin on the top of my head. I got such a kick out of that! I did step in puddles and through wet grass but I didn't care. I was having such a great time and it was nice to just walk and hold hands and occasionally point out things in the city which I think he has learned better in his one year here than in my 29. Go figure!

After our little walk, we drove to my place taking the long route and making a little stop at the Marina Green in his hope that the view would be nice. But with all the fog, mist and drizzle...that wasn't going to happen. But I didn't mind being out and we talked about hijacking one of the sailboats and jetsetting around the bay and asking why his 007 car couldn't sprout wings and fly. All in jest, you know. We weren't about to commit a felony or anything. But fun to joke around. We headed back to my place and said our goodbye. He stood me up on my entry step and he stood below so that we could be almost the same height for our goodnight kiss. Thank the heavens that he can f-in kiss! And then he held my face in my hands and said "don't get sick, don't get sick, don't get sick! and kissed me again. Yes, I just spent more than an hour walking in mist, puddles and wet grass in high strappy sandals. My feet were wet, my hair was damp but getting sick was really farthest from my mind. Sweet that he was so concerned...

*Sigh*...so I had a great time. So much so that I was excited at 12:30am when I got home and called C cuz I had to express my excitement of having had such a good time to someone and she is the only one I know would be awake. She answered with "are you ok?!". Poor thing....freaked her out calling so late!

So all went well...we didn't make plans for a third date but I'm sure (I hope!) I'll hear from Mr.D to plan something soon. Hope, hope, hope *fingers crossed*.

Naked People...Unite!

So this past weekend, I did B2B with C. How the fuck she talked me into it, I have no idea! But it required me to get up at the crack of dawn on a SUNDAY, clock in 8.5 miles before 3pm and now I have a shin splint which coworker D says happens when lazy people exercise too much. Yea, thanks for that little tidbit D. Yea, I am super lazy and clocking in 8.5 miles is a huge feat. I mean that is like 21,000 steps! I should have lost those pesky 5 pounds walking that much! But you know what...damn pounds are still there. Ugh!

But it was a fun time, lots of people, lots of costumes, lots of naked people that should NOT be going around flaunting their nakedness. Eewwww!! I mean, really...can't there at least be some cute young guys in the naked mix? It's all these big, old guys and some equally big old women with pendulum breasts which really, truly...I do NOT wanna see. That's what clothes are for. To hide that stuff and if you wanna go around naked, be at home with the person who would like to see you naked...the whole B2B crowd really doesn't want to. Trust me...it's like a circus freak show. And then you have the crowd who laughs and giggles at the naked people. What these giggling voyuers don't understand is that the naked people know the voyuers are pointing and giggling at them and it feeds their exhibitionist need and they will go into the crowd and pose with you and demand that you go ahead and have friend take a picture of you and naked person. How do I know this?! Cuz I was one of those stupid giggling voyuer girls last year and had like three big naked men come up to me and my friend and want to take pictures with me and her. Yes, honest to God...I have the proof somewhere...not that I really want to find it cuz...ewwww!! So this year, I tried to keep my eyes above waist level and there weren't any cute naked guys anywhere near me to even peak the interest to look below waist level...*sigh*. Oh well...

I had fun, C had fun...it was fun...I'm still tired though. Combine tiredness with pms and I'm a little cranky. Yea, cranky not so good...gotta hide this shit before date with Mr. D.

Drummer Boy, Part Deux

So I am back from Yee Haw Land and had to contact Drummer Boy to see if we were going to meet up again. I had told him I would call him when I got back but my phone-a-phobia kicked in so I just sent him a nice little email thinking he'd reply with a "let's hang out again". Um...no...all he replied was "things were fine while you were gone and mom's day was nice". Um...what?! So I called him and asked what was up and if he wanted to meet again.

DB said "uhhh, yea".

me: Hey, if you don't want to, we don't have to. You don't have to be nice. I just can't read you and when I got that email from you, you were so vague and I don't know what is going on.

DB: Yea, I still want to meet. I thought I was bugging you too much while you were in Yee Haw Land and I was giving you space. Plus, you said YOU would call.

Ah ha! I have encountered the needy male...just as bad as a girl pulling the I can't reply to you via email to make plans because you said you would call...so I am waiting for you to call. What is that!? What is that!! Ooooo...that makes me so mad. People and their stupid games. I explain to him my phone-a-phobia...which no one seems to frigging understand by the way and make plans with him for Saturday night. And I emailed...it's a form of communication...get over it!

So I am going into this date kinda wary...not knowing what to expect and with the opinion forming in the back of my mind that he is sensitive and attention needy. Two things I can't stand as a "blunt as fuck, tell it like it is" girl. I rarely beat around the bush...I don't have the time or patience for it and I just come out and say what I am feeling. Most friends know this. I only beat around the bush when I am scared of the outcome. So he picks me up, I ask where we are going and he thinks we should stay in my "hood" since I wanted to have an early night for B2B the next morning. We go to a nearby mexican restaurant where I wonder why we just didn't park near my place since it's only 4 blocks from me and we are circling and circling and circling for parking. We get in, order and I talked...a LOT...damn tequila. They make their margaritas frigging strong! Must remember that next time. But let me not forget that on the drive over, he had asked if I had been on a "CL" date the night before. I hadn't been since Mr. D was from the other online site I am on...yes, I am a total e-slut...leave me alone! But is it really any of his business? I mean, he was on CL and responded to my post. Isn't it normal that people are dating a couple of people at the same time until they hit that connection? So why am I being grilled about how many responses I got and how many people I am dating, etc. It is none of his business at date #1.5.

Then during dinner, I am asked, "have you ever been engaged?" I was surprised he asked me this. No one has ever asked me if I have ever been engaged...and I asked him why he would think I had been in the first place. Answer: "Look at you, you're so beautiful! Who wouldn't want to be married to you". *SIGH!!!* I hate hearing shit like this. I really really do. I appreciate that I was blessed with good genes and all but I want, more than anything, to be known and appreciated for my personality, for being loyal, honest, fun, humorous, sarcastic and caring. Not purely because I am cute, pretty, beautiful or whatever other adjective you can come up with. It's a stupid reason to get married to someone because of their looks...in the end...looks will fade and you are left with your personality. Maybe that's why I still cling to my glasses...they tone things down a bit. At least in mind they do...cute, geeky librarian look. Eh, crap...it's probably just in my mind. The meal went on...I chatted a lot and felt like he was trying to read me too much and not relaxing enough to just be himself, have a good time and talk.

After dinner, we walked and I asked why he was giving me such a hard time if he had been on CL and what was he doing on there anyways. He said he was bored and that it was better than being on yahoo or match. Well, I fessed up and told him I was on one of those two sites. So then he went on to say that that was why I couldn't get back to him in a timely manner. I was being bombarded by email. DB is so insecure. This is how online dating works people...you juggle a bit until you find someone you really connect with...in my case...you juggle a freaking lot! Ugh!

We walked back to his car, drove the four blocks home, hugged him goodbye and that it that. I am not calling him and dealing with this guy's insecurities and jealousy that he is not the only guy I am seeing. And frankly, between DB and Mr. D. I choose Mr. D because he is cool and has his shit together. Considering my shit is all over the freaking place, maybe dating someone stable is a good idea. You think??

Well, it's Wednesday and my date with DB was on Saturday. No call, no email, nothing. Just as well..I guess he felt the same way.

And the Craziness Continues...

My life is crazy! At least I think so...But my friend B told me today that I am "the harbinger of sanity". Ummm....I had to look up "harbinger" in Websters because I had no idea what that meant. Umm...my life is far from sane! I have a crazy mother, a loopy and at times unreasonable boss, an ex I still allow in my life that can push my "insecurity" button like no one else (I know, I know...drop it!) and I've been dating like mad. My friends, tv, music, movies and yarn are the only thing to keep me on this side of sane...seriously!

Friday of this past week was no exception to craziness. It was a full day. I took the day off because I had an appointment with the building inspector. But before that I decided to stop off at the city clinic for a std screen. For those of you that don't know, April was STD Awareness month and I usually do a screen every 6 months because it's just a good practice to have. There is a lot of not so cool stuff out there and it's better to know than be scared of results. So the city clinic is a great resource to the public. They have drop in hours, they only ask for a $10 donation, the staff is friendly and they let you leave with *cough* supplies. Considering my co-pay at Kaiser is a lot more than $10 and they don't give you any goodies after the visit...plus they tack on a "lab fee" on top of the co-pay. Fuck that! I'll take a wait and the $10 donation anyday. So people, if you live in the city and want to get checked out...the city clinic is the place to go. NO! I don't work there but it's one of the few services the city provides to the public and why dismiss a good thing.

After my clinic visit, I went back home to get back in time for my appointment with the building inspector. Yep, that's right...I tattled to the building inspector because I am tired of wasting my time dealing with my lazy and cheap property manager/landlord guy. It took me over 3 months, three letters, numerous messages and a threat to call the building inspector to get him to come and PATCH the roof. Damn thing probably needs to be replaced. But he never painted the ceiling where the leak was and created an awful and garmongous stain. Frankly, I am tired of looking at this stain and tired of being taken advantage of. I may not pay a huge amount for my dumpy one bedroom apartment but I would appreciate it if it looked nice and he took care of what he was resposible for. So I tattled and she said he was responsible for painting the stained areas of the ceiling and cleaning my cruddy and dirty skylight. Cool! Now I'm just waiting for the letter in writing that says all this stuff.

After my visit with the cool building inspector, C came over, we went to the B2B expo, walked around Noe Valley in search of Lucy (the store people...not the redhead!) and grabbed a bite to eat. I didn't find Lucy...but I found Jane...as in See Jane Run where I bought pepper spray. I feel like I need to explain about the pepper spray purchase before I go on about the rest of my day.

So I'm in Dallas, sprawled on the floor in the middle of the night trying to find something in my bag when I feel the comfortable feeling of my pepper spray dispenser. ?? Oh and in the next pocket, my lighter! If you guys haven't realized, both are items not allowed on aircrafts and I just flew 1,500 miles to Dallas. Yea, I know! Weird...and doesn't necessarily make me feel safe to know I got through security with this stuff since anyone can. Why wasn't it caught on the x-ray machine?! I'm glad I didn't have to go through the security hassle since I overlooked keeping this stuff in my purse but you gotta wonder. And did you see on the news recently that they don't even screen cargo that they put on passenger planes? What the hell are these people thinking? They'll screen luggage and pat passengers down and make them semi-strip but god forbid they screen huge boxes with God knows what in them?! Yea, that makes a lot of sense.

Anyways, I'll end that tangent there. Bottom line: as a single girl, living alone and being a complete freak magnet, I need to replace my pepper spray because, well...you never know. After walking around Noe Valley, C and I bonded over getting out nails done and I went back home to take a nap. Yes, a nap...yes, at 3pm...cuz I had a date. I need all the ZZzzZzz's I can get you know. So I took a mini nap that only made me more tired and I had to drag my ass down to Starbucks to order an espresso so I could wake up. I am quickly becoming addicted to these little shots of liquid caffeine. And I am sure the Starbucks guy got a kick out of me barely being able to say "I wanna single espresso" and my disheveled, bedheaded appearance. C'mon...so obviously just rolled out of bed. What do people want from me?! I know what I want...a damn shot so I can wake up and be semi-functional for this date. The shot and shower took care of that for me. I was ready on time and looking forward to meeting Mr. D.

Mr. D is short for Mr. Diplomat because he had gone to grad school to prepare to be a diplomat. Weird, huh? I never knew there was a school for that. So he picks me up, I go downstairs, he greets me with a handshake, he looks great...a guy ina suit is just as much a weakness as a guy in a uniform, (i know, we girls are so frigging lame!) walks me to his car and opens the door. Of course, my jaw is almost down to the floor after seeing his car. You know, one of those Mercedes 2 seater sport coupes that looks like it's outta 007?! Yea, one of those. Sweet! With his navigation system, we make it to the moraccan restaurant he chose...not quite what I expected but a cool surprise. We find parking, open the door to the restaurant where I hear him say "oh, I should warn you, they have belly dancers here". Crap...I am NOT getting up and belly dancing. I told him since it was his pick, he'd have to belly dance if we were picked on. Ha! Dinner was amazing...lots of food, some of the courses shared and in case you aren't familiar with moroccan food, you eat with your hands and they give you bread to use as your "utensil". It was fun! But I admit...I made him be the guinea pig with the courses...classic "you try first" manuever. Hey, I wasn't entirely sure what I was eating half the time. We'd make guesses and then ask after. Yea, we're totally smart! There was a point during the meal where my back was bugging the bejezus outta me cuz, well, I have a bad back and we're sitting on benches eating off of a table that is the height of my knee. He noticed, reached across me and pulled a huge pillow behind me to I could have some sort of lumbar support. I thought that was nice...realizing I wasn't entirely comfortable and trying to help me out some. So after a three hour dinner, we head to a nearby bar for a nightcap, talk, drink and then head home. And despite an expensive date, lots of wine and a late night, he dropped me off at the door with nothing more than a kiss on the cheek and a big hug. Awesome...I hate being "attacked" after the first date. Just hope this isn't prolonging some really bad kiss action that may freak me out. Seriously, Guy #3 has traumatized me!

So Mr. D is cool. Once I get past the "he is SO outta my league" crap...yea, I know I should not be thinking that way and I deserve great things, etc...I've been lectured by 5 people already...it has been semi pounded into my head! Ok...what was I saying? Oh yea, so once I get past the fact he's lived everywhere, makes a lot more money than I do, lives in what I am sure is a much nicer and much bigger apartment than I do and drives a sweet car, I realize he's just a guy that likes to play xbox, play basketball, watch sports games, croon to old Elvis and Sinatra songs (he's got a singing voice that melts!), play with his "toy" (his car people, sheesh! Get your mind outta the gutter!) and watch "boy" movies (opposite of chick flicks).

Second Date is Wednesday night...hopefully I don't have any brain farts and can keep the "witty and cute" game face going. Details to follow...

Back but Defeated

Well...I'm back from Yee Haw Land. Made it back last night but let me tell you, I feel defeated. Tired, run-down, beaten...aww crap! Who am I kidding! I feel like that most of the time but seriously, this is bad. I spent the last 5 days with two smart-alecky kids and two dogs that used me as a vertical trampoline for most of my stay and all on maybe, JUST MAYBE, 3 hours of sleep a night. I could barely email, barely blog, barely veg out in front of the tv and could barely make a phone call. People...I was making calls in the bathroom at 1am! Why?! Because that was when everyone was sleeping and I could find a corner...or a bathroom...where I could have a semi-private conversation...and 1am there is only 11pm in SF.

I'm happy to be in SF, happy to have seen a friendly face at the airport, have gotten a ride home and even happier to have climbed onto my super soft and cushy bed after having been kicked, smooshed, swatted at, robbed of the covers and woken up at 6am EVERY fucking day for the past 4 nights. 6am!! Did I mention this was supposed to be a goddamn vacation. Now I need a vacation to recuperate from this trip to Yee Haw Land.

If I could only get to sleep early and actually sleep for 8-9 hours...things would be a lot better!

"Vegas, Vegas, Vegas"

Vegas, Vegas, Vegas *opens eyes*. Damn, I'm still in Dallas...AND it's only Friday.

Yep, that's how I feel. Frankly, I don't need to be in Vegas...just anywhere I can lay out and have access to alcoholic drinks like pina coladas and margaritas. Yum!

But I am here...in Yee Haw Land where I am forced to share a room with my neice. Love the neice but damn, she tosses and turns a lot and I never realized until now, how light a sleeper I have become. I used to be able to sleep through earthquakes and now the littlest motion has me awake and irritated. I need sleep...I'm on vacation! So with the tossing and turning, my bro-in-law and sister making their awake noises downstairs and the dogs making their barks, I didn't get much sleep until they all left the house. The topper of course was waking up at 6am (6am people, remember I am supposed to be on vacation...and 6am here is 4am at home!) by one of the dogs licking my face and trying to climb up on the bed! I get irritated, yell for my sister, stumble to the bathroom and come out to have both dogs start jumping on me. OMG! What is up with these dogs and all the goddamn jumping on people?! I, of course, can't see crap since I don't have my glasses on and ask where they are since I don't see their familiar shape lying where I put them. "Oh, they are over on the dresser, I noticed one of the dogs had it in his mouth". What?!!?!?! Nothing is safe! They are trying to eat my glasses, yesterday one of them tried to eat my phone that I was trying to recharge...they are worse than toddlers! Thank goodness the dog only had it in his mouth and wasn't chewing the bejesus out of them because I truly am pretty blind without them and I didn't bring a backup pair or contacts on this trip. Who would have thought they'd be in danger of being eaten by a dog?! Plus, my frames are discontinued. I love my glasses to death. I searched high and low for another pair of my DKNY tortoiseshell rectangular, geeky-looking librarian frames and I would have cried buckets and been in a rage should I have encountered a beyond recognizeable chewed up pair of glasses. I'm not kidding...truly serious here. These glasses have been and are my "look". I'm comfortable, I can see, I think they are cute, it's the persona I want to exude and I'm not ready to give it up just yet.

I finally have the house to myself and can relax. I can watch Judging Amy in the middle of the day in my pj's and not worry about anything and that's just grand. Now I just need to remember to put all my valuable stuff like glasses, phone and Rio on a high shelf or I may never see these things again.

Yee-Haw Land

Well, I made it to Yee-Haw Land in one peice and without embarasment. I say without embarasment because I was so tired from staying up packing and dealing with a migraine the size of Mount Rushmore last night. I fell asleep on the plane and we all know what that means...possible snoring, drooling and flailing. I fear falling asleep on the plane for all those things and more. For possibly being that annoying guy in Seinfeld when Elaine is traveling in coach and Jerry in first class. C'Mon, you know what episode I am talking about here! And if you have never heard of Seinfeld...you are too young to visit this blog. Please submit your parental consent form via email or click that "view next blog" button on the upper right corner....thank you! Anyways, I live off of Seinfeld re-runs and that guy has the aisle and Elaine is stuck in the middle concentrating all her mental energy on the annoying guy in the aisle seat with the 15 trillion bags sitting next to her to WAKE UP! so she can get up and pee only to not be able to take it for a second longer when she wakes him up and crawls over him and his 15 trillion bags. Yes, I fear being that annoying guy....minus all the bags though and well not being a guy but a girl. I always get the aisle seat since I have ridiculously long ass legs that cramp up after sitting a long time and I fear being in this sleeping stupor and not waking up when someone needs to get up to pee. I fear snoring. Drooling is beyond words...it's gross but we all do it. Stop it! Stop saying Ewww! right.now!...I know you do it too...especially when beyond tired. And don't even mention flailing. Those little uncontrollable jerks that has the awake person next to you either thinking "freak" or "oh god, I hope this person isn't epileptic". I rarely ever fall asleep on the plane because of a fear of all these things but today I did and it was nice. I made it to Dallas aka Yee Haw Land in one peice and my sister picked me up and got me Starbucks. Isn't she nice?! I needed it if the kids were gonna be home.

We went to Sam's which is like Costco in which me in my sleepy and my Starbucks hasn't kicked in yet haze, goes chasing my sister around in Sam's. Does she really have to walk that goddamn fast. I mean, WHERE is the fire?!?! I always forget she walks that fast and I think I am a fast walker until I am paired next to her and huffing it. What happened to taking in the scenery and looking around. "Wait! Wait! I'm looking at this cd...where are you going! Don't leave me behind, dammit. I'm in Texas and my wallet and everything is back in the car!" My Gawd! Not what I expected right off the bat. Me going, "hey, ya gotta walk that fast?" and her saying "why ya gotta walk so slow?". Grrr!!! Defeated by my elder.

We make it home where I am attacked by the kids and rooted to the spot in shock that my neice is now as tall as I am! Wha?? When did this happen? I am 18 years older than the kid and she's topping me off AND I'm no shortie either. Then my sister lets her dogs, whom I've never met, out of their crates and I am attacked again! Shit, first the kids and now the dogs! And it's a little hard to stay stable when you are trying to watch your nephew do some ball thing I still don't understand (hey! I'm a frigging girl...as long as I don't have to touch, catch, throw, kick any ball, me and the world is a much better place)...while 2 50lbs dogs are jumping up all on you. That's 100 lbs people! Considering I can barely lift 40...I'm lucky I didn't get flattened.

But I survived...I didn't snore, drool, flail, kept up with my sister in the Sam's race, got attacked by 2 kids and then 2 dogs and I've lived to blog about it! Whew...now i just need to survive the next 4 days in Yee Haw Land. Where it's like 80 degrees and all I really want right now is my San Francisco fog!

Oh, I'm Sorry...I mean "Percussionist"!

Don't you hate it when things you thought were saved didn't save and now you don't remember as well?

Yea, me too...and that's exactly what happened with the original version of this post. Wonderful!

So from my really bad memory, I pull the following:

Me and Drummer Boy met for a nice but brief lunch near work and spent the hour talking more than eating, laughing hysterically and making some pretty good impressions of our Nicaraguan mothers and then laughing even more. Overall, a good meet and greet.

I did revert into "Blunt Val" and just came out and asked, "So, um...how well do you play into the drummer stereotype?" Yea, lovely...I'm basically asking him if he's a player and if he intends to mess with me. He answered, "I'm NOT a drummer, I'm a percussionist!" What? What the heck is that? I barely know my instruments and now this guy wants me to know what a percussionist is?! He had to explain. Yea, whatever! A percussionist is just a glorified drummer. They get to play more instruments than the classic 5 peice drumset. In my mind, he's still a drummer boy...and I'm sticking to it because the thought of me even knowing a drummer is so out of character for me and I'm bored and want a little excitement aside from all the annoying white collar boys I've been dating lately (YAWN!!)

Sidenote, Drummer Boy has called and emailed since lunch...he seems a little goofy. Is he smitten or a freak? Only time will tell.

Going out with a Drummer??

No...that can't be Val! Ms. straight and narrow Val? Eh, I'm bored so I'll meet the drummer.

B, I swear...It'll be ok. I'm just meeting him. It's only lunch...in the middle of the day and there will be lots of people around. It can't hurt right? Besides I am really, really, REALLY curious!

Plus...um, we all know us girls have the soft spot for certain things...uniforms and musicians being a couple of the "oh my gawd, how hot!". But in the back of my mind, I am also thinking, I may as well step on a goddamn live wire because despite the hotness, there is also that level of "bad news". We all know it. C'mon, fess up!

Yea, so how did Val even get to this "meet a drummer" stage. Yea, I know...so Un-Val.

Well over the weekend, I was bored and decided to post an ad on CL. Yea, I know crazy! I was BORED and annoyed that Guy #3 didn't live up to my expectations and I needed some entertainment. Plus, I was also doing it as an experiment for this board that my friend moderates. Get data, report to the board. Easy! If anyone interesting responded, I'd respond. So this guy replied who sounded cool, if not a little generic BUT he has a good picture. Good = Cute people and Cute peaks my interest. Yes, I can really be that vain and shallow to choose a guy based on looks BUT he also has to be smart and cool for me to really stick around so I'm not THAT vain...just a itty bit. So I emailed, asked where he grew up and told him I grew up in South City and bam(!) 7 emails, 2 additional pictures (if he truly looks like those pictures, I'll be in heaven...for an hour at least), one phone call and an hour IM chat later, we have established that we have a shitload of stuff in common. So much so it's a little weird and nervewracking and I know it's the truth since he spilled the beans before I did and I'd sit there in front of the computer trying to lift my dropped jaw back to it's normal location...you know, up near my face instead of dropped down to my desk. He grew up up the hill from me, he is Nicaraguan and his dad is from the same town my parents are from, his sister went to high school at the same time I did but different year, he teaches at the high school my brother went to, he has the same birthday as my mother, he's a LIBRA (woohoo!! Libras rock!). Those are the major things...we have other commonalities too but those are the most "what the? No way!" commonalities I've had with anyone. We're hoping we aren't related. LOL Ewwwww...Gross!

And he's a drummer...who plays gigs in the city. I think I forgot this at some point during our conversation and I said to him "you don't look like the geeky band guy stereotype". In which he responded, "I'm a drummer". Oh yea...the drummer is always hot! And obviously he knows it. Shit! I'm in deep, deep trouble people.

But I'm curious...if anything...he can be a compadre...a new friend to shoot the shit with. Yea, who am I kidding. We'll see what happens. I leave for "yee-haw" land Thursday. If I don't meet him before I leave, I'll go batty wondering what he's really like...if he'll still be interested in meeting me a week after we connected on email and phone. Better to meet and get it over with already and determine if I think he's a troll or truly a hottie. So I'm meeting him for lunch later today and details after that.

Yea, I hear you already. You want a frigging update..."enquiring minds wanna know". Alright...you got it!

Shout Out to Idiot Boy

Well, I managed to not get drunk and fall on guys Friday night.. Yet I couldn't prevent "Idiot Boy"from entering my life.

To the idiotic boy who invited himself to my table at the Tainted Love show last night.

Maybe you should lay off the damn booze and/or drugs to realize that you weren't welcome. We did not invite you to the table and you didn't even ask if you could. You just invited yourself and danced with me and my friend. I guess me giving you the cold shoulder and physically pushing you away from me as you kept on squishing me toward the corner escaped your clouded awareness. But despite all this, the kicker was you telling me to "lighten up" at the end of the night. I think you realized this was the wrong thing to say after I gave you a kind (not!) gesture and you escaped over the railing. Wise move! I don't need any frigging idiotic pimply 25 year old "hitting" on me and invading my space when I am trying to enjoy a concert. Take some pointers from a cute, older girl...ask, then do.

Another One Bites The Dust...

"And another one gone, and another one gone. Another one bites the dust..."

Any Queen fans out there? This is starting to become my dating mantra. I date and then they leave...either on their own or I shove them away because they are lewd, crazy, stalkers, dull beyond belief or their is no romantic chemistry.

In the case of Guy #3...I guess I claim the latter. There can be chemistry between two people based on similar likes and dislikes and personalities and you hit it off all fine and dandy. And when the time comes to kiss, make out etc...you are left with "what the fuck is this?!" repeating over and over in your head. You break away, go back in to double check that what just happened wasn't really happening and unfortunately, since you went back in...it was happening again! Ewwww! It was awful! I basically cut the date short...I had a good excuse. Tired and had a long Friday ahead of me and left things open ended with Guy #3.

Over the following few days, I've thought about the situation and talked it out with some friends who were divided between me being the teacher and showing him what he was doing wrong and those that were "no chemistry, dump him". I've decided to go with the latter on this too. I'm not in a position to be teaching the 30 year old man the basics. He's 30! You've gotta hope he's kissed, frenched and necked at least a few women in his day especially if he's up on Match. And if he can't do that...I'm a little worried about dealing, teaching him the basics and getting to the next step (and we all know what the next step would be) and find out he's awful at that too. Oh my gawd...the blow would be too great!

The situation would be different if we were friends for a while and discovered this farther down the line and there was more time and feelings invested in this "relationship"...but we're talking Match here. Things move faster than normal, guys and gals have things on the agenda that require quick movement for the most part. Or it would be different if I just had to fine tune certain things...not do a whole reconstruction and lesson plan. Yea, this was not what I was bargaining for and it's not something I am willing to take on either.

So that is the end of my trio of guys. Now I just need to figure out how to break the news to Guy #3. God, I hate this part!!