Yee-Haw Land

Well, I made it to Yee-Haw Land in one peice and without embarasment. I say without embarasment because I was so tired from staying up packing and dealing with a migraine the size of Mount Rushmore last night. I fell asleep on the plane and we all know what that means...possible snoring, drooling and flailing. I fear falling asleep on the plane for all those things and more. For possibly being that annoying guy in Seinfeld when Elaine is traveling in coach and Jerry in first class. C'Mon, you know what episode I am talking about here! And if you have never heard of Seinfeld...you are too young to visit this blog. Please submit your parental consent form via email or click that "view next blog" button on the upper right corner....thank you! Anyways, I live off of Seinfeld re-runs and that guy has the aisle and Elaine is stuck in the middle concentrating all her mental energy on the annoying guy in the aisle seat with the 15 trillion bags sitting next to her to WAKE UP! so she can get up and pee only to not be able to take it for a second longer when she wakes him up and crawls over him and his 15 trillion bags. Yes, I fear being that annoying guy....minus all the bags though and well not being a guy but a girl. I always get the aisle seat since I have ridiculously long ass legs that cramp up after sitting a long time and I fear being in this sleeping stupor and not waking up when someone needs to get up to pee. I fear snoring. Drooling is beyond words...it's gross but we all do it. Stop it! Stop saying Ewww! right.now!...I know you do it too...especially when beyond tired. And don't even mention flailing. Those little uncontrollable jerks that has the awake person next to you either thinking "freak" or "oh god, I hope this person isn't epileptic". I rarely ever fall asleep on the plane because of a fear of all these things but today I did and it was nice. I made it to Dallas aka Yee Haw Land in one peice and my sister picked me up and got me Starbucks. Isn't she nice?! I needed it if the kids were gonna be home.

We went to Sam's which is like Costco in which me in my sleepy and my Starbucks hasn't kicked in yet haze, goes chasing my sister around in Sam's. Does she really have to walk that goddamn fast. I mean, WHERE is the fire?!?! I always forget she walks that fast and I think I am a fast walker until I am paired next to her and huffing it. What happened to taking in the scenery and looking around. "Wait! Wait! I'm looking at this cd...where are you going! Don't leave me behind, dammit. I'm in Texas and my wallet and everything is back in the car!" My Gawd! Not what I expected right off the bat. Me going, "hey, ya gotta walk that fast?" and her saying "why ya gotta walk so slow?". Grrr!!! Defeated by my elder.

We make it home where I am attacked by the kids and rooted to the spot in shock that my neice is now as tall as I am! Wha?? When did this happen? I am 18 years older than the kid and she's topping me off AND I'm no shortie either. Then my sister lets her dogs, whom I've never met, out of their crates and I am attacked again! Shit, first the kids and now the dogs! And it's a little hard to stay stable when you are trying to watch your nephew do some ball thing I still don't understand (hey! I'm a frigging girl...as long as I don't have to touch, catch, throw, kick any ball, me and the world is a much better place)...while 2 50lbs dogs are jumping up all on you. That's 100 lbs people! Considering I can barely lift 40...I'm lucky I didn't get flattened.

But I survived...I didn't snore, drool, flail, kept up with my sister in the Sam's race, got attacked by 2 kids and then 2 dogs and I've lived to blog about it! Whew...now i just need to survive the next 4 days in Yee Haw Land. Where it's like 80 degrees and all I really want right now is my San Francisco fog!