Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Day Before...

Thanksgiving! Where does the year go?! It's a bit strange reading over everyone's blogs the last couple of days and reading all the reasons that people are thankful this Thanksgiving Season. I feel strange because while everyone is happy, I'm feeling blue, ungrateful and am filled with dread. I dread the holiday season...most of the time. It has rarely been a happy and joyful time for me. It's difficult and painful and most times...better left forgotten. If it's a year my sister and her family head to town or I have a love interest to spend it with, I'm a very deck the halls, christmas card sending, christmas caroling, christmas tree decorating, shopping, happy joyful Valerie. The rest of the time...let December 31st come around already! This year, I already know my sister isn't coming as her health has been poor and the dreadful economy has taken it's toll. *The boy* will be back East and it's no secret that whole relationship has been rocky lately. So the holidays will be spent with my folks and maybe my brother. I'm hoping he won't be there as each year my 19 years older than me brother likes to pick a fight. At the age of 53, picking fights with your 34 year old sister is kind of crass, rude and really...not appropo at holiday season let alone any other time.

Since my mother is getting too old to cook a big meal for men who don't appreciate it, I opted to order a turkey dinner from Whole Foods...because I don't cook. Well, nothing as big as a turkey. This was before the oven at my folks broke and the crazy show of childish behavior old folks show. Well, at least my old folks show. My mom doesn't want to go shopping with my dad because he drives her nuts and my dad won't go buy a new oven without her because he doesn't want to get blamed for buying the wrong oven. Seriously...stuff like this happens all the time...the old folks behavior I mean. I'm surprised I'm as sane as I am...which isn't saying much! So Thanksgiving dinner will be reheated via the microwave because there is no way my mom can get up to my apartment without an elevator...which isn't an option. So, it will be a weird and kind of lonely Thanksgiving. If I can get through tomorrow without a breakdown, I'm good until Christmas Eve when it all starts over again like Groundhog Day. By New Year's Day, I'm so happy that the holidays are behind me and I hope and pray for a year better than the year before.

This year has been an awful year. I'm eager to see it behind me. At times, it's very hard to realize I should be thankful. Yet, I know I have a lot to be thankful for. *The boy* is alive when he could have so easily been killed, he can walk, I've had another year to spend with my old folk parents, we all have our health to a certain degree, I have a lovely apartment with an apartment manager who takes care of me, I have a job that allows me to pay the rent and buy me lots of amazing stash, I have an amazing hobby which brings me hours of enjoyment and teaches me a lot, I have amazingly dear friends and have made lots of stitching friends this year through this modest little blog. I have a lot to be thankful for.

I just hope I can through tomorrow without a fight or a breakdown.

Truth be told...this wasn't the post I was planning on when I opened Blogger. I was going to prepare a post about stitching and add the photos when I got home. That may be a bonus for tonight or I may can it for Friday. Wow, after tomorrow...only 4 more days of NaBloPoMo! I didn't think I could do it and look at me...I haven't missed a day yet. Go me!! I guess I should be thankful for that too! :)

I hope you and yours have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday filled with happy moments.

14 comments:

Branlaadee said...

*hugs* Next year, cross the bay and come have Thanksgiving with my family. We are having and "orphan" Thanksgiving this year...like most. It started out being just my mom, stepdad, husband and me. Now my kids are coming and everyone is bringing friends and neighbors that have no where else to go. We are up to about 20 people now. So, as you can see, it wouldnt be a problem. ;) We always have a great time, great food and never fight....well, not on Thanksgiving at least. LOL

Daffycat said...

Holidays take their toll on lots of people, Valerie. Don't feel bad about feeling this way. One good thing is the month or so between Thanksgiving & Christmas usually passes in a flash, right?

OMG It is almost over! I hadn't really thought about it. Whee! Valerie, WE ARE GOOD! LOL

Margaret said...

Have a good Thanksgiving. It does sound like you've had a tough year this year. But like you said, there's always something to be thankful for. Hang in there! Enjoy the holiday for what it is. :D

Jackie said...

I wish you peace for tomorrow.

There is nothing wrong with this not being your favorite time of the year. Stress does not necessarily bring out the best in everyone and goodness knows the holidays are stressful.

One year we're going to try the chinese food and dvd's method of celebrating.

staci said...

Hang in there girl! {{hugs}}

caerbannog said...

The holidays are a really difficult time of the year. Hang in there! I hope everything goes well. {{hugs}}

Theresa said...

This year really seemed to be a tough year to you!! Hang in there!!!

Dani - tkdchick said...

I'm glad you got it all out girl! Sometimes you don't intend to share something and when you do, it helps. I hope you feel a little better getting this all off of your chest.

Realzie you're not alone there's a lot of people out there who have a rough time during the holidays.

Take care and find some time to stitch!

Jeanne M said...

I know how you feel. I've had holiday seasons like you describe. Real life is frequently not like the movies - or how we wish it was. Like the others said, the time does pass by quickly though. I hope you can find some cheer.

Carol R said...

[[[Hugs]]]

Leila Jo said...

I feel that the true holiday spirit is to use this time to reflect on the last year, what worked and didn't so we can make changes in the New Year. How else can we begin the New Year fresh? So purge away, it's healthy!

Katrina said...

Lots of hugs! Hope your day went so much better than you thought it would.

CindyMae said...

))))HUGS((((( I am sorry that you are feeling blue right now. You are in my thoughts and of course my prayers!! Next year will be a better year for you my dear friend, I just know it!

Meari said...

I can totally relate with the family dynamics and being in or out of the holiday spirit, Val.