Friday, June 24, 2005

I've Been Bad...

I've been totally neglecting my blog! And I don't mean to but I am exhausted, cranky, stressed, frazzled and my thoughts are going in a thousand directions!. I can't concentrate on my writing when I am so all over the goddamn place.

And it doesn't help that I am going through boy dilemnas. I wish boys would just be honest and straight forward instead of acting like they are all interested but proceed to date a bunch of girls at the same time as you and then drop off. That makes me think that said boy isn't interested and I will proceed to scout for new dates because I am now addicted to dating after having my face plastered on match forever and a day. So I have scouted, have a date set up for this weekend, another for next week and am getting back into the dating groove until I leave at the end of next week and then...I hear from said boy. Great...he says he was really busy this week and wants to make his appointment to call me. I am really starting to rethink this. Do I really want to be with someone who needs to make "appointments" with the girls he is seeing to talk on the phone? This is like the relationship my boss has with his wife. They make phone conference appointments or meetings to talk about important household issues because they are both so busy that they don't have the time to deal with this stuff in the normal day to day routine. I think that's sad...and it's not what I want. So it looks like I am juggling three guys...again. At least for now. But seriously...what the hell is up with the number three? I always end up with that number and sometimes I don't think it's as lucky as I would like to believe.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Busted Ass!

I am now sporting a bruise bigger than the size of my hand on my ass. Lovely...I always did say that I was graceful! NOT!

So how did I fall...I was rushing down the stairs in my "vegas heels" to meet V#3 for our second date and my heel slipped out from under me. Owww! I slipped and slid down about four stairs and handed on my left butt cheek and left elbow. Both are looking pretty purply. I spent the last two days sitting on an icepack!

Luckily I didn't break anything and was able to muster enough energy to get up, meet V#3 downstairs and last thoughout the date which was a lot of fun...despite confirmation that V#3 is juggling 5...yes, as in f-i-v-e girls. Grrrr!!

Monday, June 13, 2005

Neighbors, My Mom and Boys

And what do all these people have in common? They all drive me crazy! And not in a good way either. For some strange and bizarre reason, I was actually looking forward to today, Monday, because it would bring a really crappy weekend to a close. I hate yea, the weekend wasn't all that great.

Friday: Was probably the highlight of my weekend. I had a friend in from out of town and it was nice to get past a couple of things and just talk. Of course, I am so frazzled, I'm not sure how much I actually retained. Dinner was good despite the rude old biddy that made us move tables. Go C for yelling at the old lady! Even I wasn't about to do that. Apologies were made for the rudeness and Tia Margarita is still on my list for neighborhood mexican. After dinner and a pit stop for dessert, I was in major food coma. "Must go home and sleep NOW" food coma. So I went home and tried to sleep.

This is the part where the neighbors come in. Kel, did you really have to move to Portland?! F-in A...the "bimbette sisters" are at it again. The bimbette sisters are the girls who live directly below me and like to get fucking drunk on Friday and Saturday nights with their boyfriends and they get so damn drunk and loud that it's like they are talking through a megaphone...yet...amazingly they are not. But at 10pm this is annoying. At 2am, it's outright ridiculous. I am tired, in food coma, kinda buzzed and tired. Oh yea, I said tired already. Too tired to put something over my ratty pajamas and yell at the bimbette sister and her boyfriend. Around 3, neighbor B did that for me and yelled at her. But what did that do?! She slams the door and then has an emotional drunk episode. The sobbing, the crying, the yelling with her boyfriend who is trying to calm her down. Umm...helloooo...I can still hear you. Shut the fuck up. SOME people in the building would like to sleep you know. After about 30 minutes of that, it was finally quiet. All I know is that next time, I am calling the police because I am sick of this and it's ruining my beauty sleep. I've been using too much makeup and do I REALLY need to sleep with earplugs in? They are annoying. Earplugs and the neighbors.

I finally fall asleep around 5am and at 8am...BBZZZZZTTTTT!!!!!! Wha?? What's that? It's my super loud, freak me out buzzer. The roofers are ringing ME to let them into the building. So I barely get 3 hours of sleep and then have to deal with pounding on the roof for the next 5 hours while I am in this sleep deprived stupor on my futon while dozing to videos. Saturday sucked ass!

Boys: So Saturday in my stupor...I had 3 boys call me to meet up with them. Ummmm, hellowww boys! Calling a girl to meet up at the last minute is a huge no-no...especially on a Saturday. What the fuck are these guys thinking?! Haven't they learned anything in the online dating world? Obviously instead of drag myself off the futon...remember...I'm working on no meet these boys, I blew them off and went to the movies to see Monster-In-Law, went to Joann's and Nordstrom to wander my evening away.

Mom: My mother is insane and that worries me since she's my mom and I hope that her insanity isn't something I inherited. Sometimes...I think I may have. We were supposed to go do HER errands on Sunday and she calls me at just shy of 10am to tell me she is "too busy" to go and do these errands with me. Let me say that my mother barely leaves the house and if she does, it's to go to the store, bank, post office or doctors...all of which are within a mile radius of the house. I call her and after a much heated debate, find out she's too busy because she has "to make soup". MAKE SOUP! She's crazy! Like making soup couldn't wait. We had made these plans days ago and I made sure not to schedule anything that day so I could take her around. Annoying...

So between neighbors, boys and my weekend was a shambles!

Thursday, June 09, 2005

How I Feel

I know, I guys are dying to know how my date with V#3 went last night. The date was great but I have a lot of mixed emotions about this guy. We get along wonderfully! We did in email, we do over the phone. I become super chatty and feel like I could talk to him forever about complex issues like the ecomony in third world countries and also about everyday, mundane things like the weather and what I did on any given day. Good thing is that he is as chatty about similar topics as I am so it's not one sided.

We met at a trendy bar *not my pick*. I don't do trendy all that great. I do dive fantastically. I mean dive bars...not dive as in head first into a pool. Yea right...I barely swim, forget diving. What? Oh yea, meet at this bar. It's raining...again. It always seems to rain when I have one of these meet and greets. Why?! So I am standing outside in a nearby doorway, with my umbrella tucked in low near my head waiting for V#3 to show up because there is a private party at this bar until 8pm, which is the time we decided to meet. I look up and there is V#3 right in front of me as I blow a big bubble with my gum. Nice...yea, I got the timing. Whatever...I think he barely noticed. He's cute, he's stylish...he's on time. Awesome. We head into the bar and don't leave until three hours later. We had a fantastic time! We talked and talked and there was no real lag. He even said at some point that "what do you do if one of these things go well?" Ummm...well, you set up another date! So we have another date tentatively set up for next Monday.

So why do I feel so "eh"? He's great...I like him..he seems to like me...we hit it off fantastically...we can talk...we have common interests and experiences. So what's the problem?! Yea, the problem...what I have been thinking about for the past week. I keep telling myself not to get "latched on" to V#3 because he's new. He's new to SF...he has a new job based out of NY but he's setting up the SF office for the company...he'll be traveling a lot...he's new to match....he's back in the dating scene after a long time not really dating. So he's new. He's told me that he's overwhelmed with match and the online dating scene yet he is ALWAYS online. I know he's juggling but I don't know how many. I DO know that one is "out of the running" because he had a bad date on Tuesday. I was only the second meet and greet he's EVER had (OMG!!! I've been on the site way too fricking long!). I'm sure this is still super exciting to him since it's new and he wants to "see what else is out there". He didn't tell me this...this is all the stuff flying around in my head. I mean, isn't that the guy mentality anyways. To roam the pastures and see what else is out there?

But the emotional investment is there because we did spend 2.5 weeks emailing and talking on the phone before we actually met. Two and a half weeks is a really long time in the online world. All I know is that I need to emotionally distance myself from him but still have a good time until I can sense where things are or he actually tells me where I stand. For the time being, I will "go with the flow", send mini emails, have little phone conversations and see where date #2 on Monday night will lead me.

I think I will do the dating and match thing until the end of the month. Then I go on vacation for a week and will be back mid-July. And I am going to focus on other things like the job search, picking up the books and the sticks (knitting ones that is). I've got enough things to keep me busy and at the moment, I'm getting pretty f-in frazzled with it all right now and a tired of playing the mind games dating involves in the beginning.

So that's how I stories are coming to a close at the end of the month for a while and you'll get to hear about boring stuff like real estate crap for the course I will take and what a pain knitting can sometimes be. It is NOT "relaxing" when you make mistakes and mess up!

Monday, June 06, 2005

Shout Out...

I thought I'd give a little shout out to my PG friends. Better you than me! Ha... No seriously, I'm happy for you guys. Pu-lease don't ask me to babysit though. I don't know why babies like to spit up on me. So, I'd rather not be by myself with them until they know how to keep food down and are out of diapers. So not ready for that road right now. I still need to find Mr. Right. Hellllooooo, Mr. Right where the fuck are you? I'm getting tired of dating...and the FREAKS. *sigh*

Anyways, to S...thanks for the visit on Saturday and congratulations to you and V#1. I'm really happy for you guys!

And to Kel, the loud mouth commenter on the board and my old neighbor who would feed me ALL the time, congrats to you and K on the anticipation of "alien" baby. I'm excited! I miss you! I guess you have enough practice to be a mom since you fed me and still give me loads of "tough love" and have a kabillion cats! Dude, many cats!

Congratulations to you both!

Friday, June 03, 2005

Things of Three...Good or Bad?

So things of three...are they good or bad? People always say bad things come in three. But what about good things?!

So this week, I am supposed to have a meet up date with a match guy...I'll call him V#3. I wonder if this will be a good date because I already know a V#1 and a V#2 and they are great friends, good guys and (obviously) have the same name as V#3. I wonder if this is a good omen. All the guys I have met with this name are great guys!

I guess only time will tell. I'll find out Wednesday. I have come to the realization that whenever I am on the phone with V#3...I become a chatterbox. What is up with that?! He's new on match which means he is overwhelmed from being bombarded with girls contacting him. How many he's juggling, I've no idea. So he is juggling girls, starting a new job based in SF but headquartered in New York and did I mention he's moving up to SF from Central California? Yea, what the heck is this boy thinking. I would have already cracked under the pressure but he seems to be a good juggler. Ummm....good juggler...this could be bad...for me. So he moves to SF we speak. He is driving up with a month's worth of supplies to live in corporate housing before he finds an apartment and moves everything next month.

Seriously...don't know if this is good or bad. Only meeting him will tell me anything. I just hope he's not a freak. I mean...last week was full of them! I need a break.

Coming Out of the Woodwork

OMG! What is the deal? All the freaks are coming out of the woodwork. At least it's via email so I am not actually physically subjected to it and further tramatized.

First, my brother. Yea, he's my brother and I love him but he's a freak.

Then, CSB and his match weirdness about wanting to say something but not. Total freak!

And now, Bank Guy...he is the King Freak! Well, at least for the week because who knows what next week has in store.

So a little background...Bank Guy was this guy I went out with ONCE about two years ago and it was totally a "pity date". I feel weird saying that but it's true. I ran into him every two weeks when I did the deposit for my boss. He was my teller 8 times out of 10 and after two years doing the deposit, he asked for my name and then for a few months after that would ask for my name again because he had forgotten. Idiot...clue #1...forgetting girls names. So then he asked me for my phone number because he wanted to go out with me. Alright...not totally interested but he was nice despite the name forgetting thing. Why wasn't I interested...hmmmm....he's asian (not what I usually "go for"), he was short (i'm pretty tall) and he has a lazy eye. But he was nice hence the "pity date". The date was AWFUL! Not planned, disorganized, he had a dirty sweatshirt on and when I asked him to take me home, he said, "ok, but I need to stop off and buy my lotto!" at 130AM. That's bad...even worse is that he HAS to go buy it in the MARINA (insert eeewwww! here) and that's a very roundabout way of taking me home. In the days after the date, Bank Guy kept calling and calling and calling and I had to tell him I wasn't interested and he kept calling and calling and finally stopped. Finally!!

But since I have my face plastered on match (goddammit! When am I gonna meet a cool guy!?), Bank Guy found me as his mug is now gracing the site. Grrrr!!

Email #1:

hey valerie - it's nice to "kinda" see you again - it's been quite a while - let's see, i still live in the city, i still attend mass at st. ignatious regularly though i work in san rafael now - it's so nice out there - but hey, hopefully you can write me back or something - i do hope things are good and well with you - til next time and thanks bank guy-

I ignored the email. Then one week later I get...

Email #2:

why didn't you wanna write back? - just curious : )thanks

I ignored that one too. And then today, I got...

Email #3:

are you upset with me? bank guy-

OH MY GAWD!! He is a stalking freak! Seriously...what is this!? Yea, I rushed onto the site to BLOCK his ass and remove him from searches. Is this guilt trip via email from someone I barely know and only dated once?! At least I know he's working in San Rafael now. I've been avoiding THAT bank branch for over two years now. Seriously. I'm not kidding. I walk three blocks to the next nearest one since I didn't want to be confronted with the freakiness of this Bank Guy. Now I don't have to do that anymore.

So that is the conclusion that things come in three...usually bad...or in this case, freaky.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

The Return of CSB..

This seems to be the day for interesting emails to share.

Back in February, I dated CSB (cat stench boy) for three dates. He seemed nice if not a little indecisive about date planning. One thing that drives me nuts is boys who can't plan a date...or at least come up with options to pick from. As a girl, I like dates semi-planned...because hellow(!), I plan enough at work! But with CSB, I did all of the planning...annoying! So by date #3, I met him at his place (everything was very worries or "scoop" there) and was assaulted by cat stench. We went out, saw a movie, had dinner and then went back to hang out and talk. By the end of the night, I had a headache from breathing in cat stench and there was no way in hell I could picture myself "getting it on" in a place that smelled like cats. Seriously...ewww!! Yea, wasn't gonna happen not to mention, we didn't really have much in common beyond movies, tv and being "low-key" people. But he was TOO low-key...he was dressed in a faded company logo tee shirt and ratty chinos for our 3rd date. I like casual but dating is about going out and having fun and not going out with a girl you may or may not want to be your GF in clothes you lounge around the cat stench apartment in. So I let CSB go, he didn't take it all that well and I moved on to date the many guys that have filtered in and then out of my life.

So I notices CSB checking out my profile on match since that site has become so incredibly voyueristic. Why is he checking me out? We've dated and I gave him the boot. He thought I was a bitch for doing so. At some point last month, I clicked on his profile and he changed it all around. If this was the profile he had up when he initially contacted me...I would never have gone out with him. He sounds like a bitter freak! So over the course of the last month, he's checked on my profile. I may have checked his but I am pretty sure I was logged off the site when I checked.

So last night, as I was running out to do laundry, I saw I got an email from him (!). This is what he had to say:

Hey Valerie,It's CSB*, I've noticed you on match and It seems you want to say something to me or you want me to say something to you? Or maybe I'm wrong and completely misreading it, I've been known to do that. So I thought I would send you a email and see if there's anything to be said?If I'm wrong about this than I apologies for bothering.CSB

What?! What does he think I have something to say...and what does he think I would even say? That I realized he was the guy for me and I would love to take him, his two cats and his cat stench apartment?! Yea, I don't think so. Dream on!

But seriously...what's his deal? I am NOT writing him back. I don't need more drama than I already have, thankyouverymuch!

Note to those thinking about getting a cat or already having cats...especially guys:
1. Clean out litterbox frequently and throw out grody litter OUTSIDE so that the stink is outside living area.
2. Ventilate! Get screens or whatever and OPEN windows and sliding doors to get air circulation in the apartment.
3. Vacuum and/or sweep frequently to get cat hair off the carpet, floor, furniture. I mean jeez, I have enough or my own hair shed all over me...I don't need cat hair thrown into the mix.
4. Air freshener can do wonders! Better yet, one of those ionizer thingies from Shear Image.

Hmm, that's all I can think about for now considering I don't even HAVE a cat...but isn't that common sense stuff?

* CSB...obviously not his real name. Must protect the innocent...or at least make it more difficult for them to find me and the things I say about them on my blog.

Can You Feel the Love?

So I was about to head home from work yesterday when I decided to check my email one last time. I was surprised to see an email from my brother. We don't write very often...for reasons you'll see illustrated below. This is what he had to say:

hello, i am here in nicaragua. my parents anniversaryis july 2, sis and her family is coming down on the3rd my mom will be coming. my dad is staying tillseptember. the airfares are outrageous, but we arethrowing a party for them that weekend in san juan delsur. you should try to come for a week.please dont whine. it only happens once. youprobably wont have to come again till there is afuneral.

OMG! Can you feel the love. I often wonder if I am adopted. People wonder why I am angsty towards my family and willing to adopt almost anyone else's? This is why! I've often dreamed that I was adopted but frankly, I am close to being a spitting image of my girl form, or course...and have the insane paleness of my mom. Oh, and me and my brother pretty much look similar except he has the priveledge of tanning and I get to bake, turn red, peel and start the insane cycle again.

Do you notice the amount of times he used "my" in a 5 line email? "My parents"...ummm, hellow! my parents too...they are OUR parents! So possessive! "My dad"..."My mom". They are OUR mom and OUR dad. He is 20...yes, 20 years older than me. You'd think he would have figured out this crap by now.

"We are throwing them a party". We are? We who? Um...shouldn't I be included in the planning of this as they are also my parents? WTF?! It'd be nice to be in the loop..I am ONLY YOUR sister. God forbid...I be included in this shit.

"Please don't whine". Oh, WTF!? I do not whine. I state facts. Sometimes they may be in the negative like, I don't really want to go because I don't have $800 for the fare. He sees that as whining. I see that as fact. And seriously, I cannot help having an, at times, nasally voice. Be thankful I don't sound like "The Nanny". Nasally = whiny SOUNDING. Not whining! So fuck off! Sheesh...I do not like being hasseled as the youngest and a girl.

Oh, and bringing up funerals are not cool...why is he thinking about that stuff. I would rather not think about my parents and their death and the consequent trip to Nicaragua when that happens. Hopefully not anytime soon *knock on wood*.

So in 5 loving brother has managed to irritate me and send me into an anxiety frenzy because a trip to Nicaragua means a lot of things. Costly when I have no money, loads of family = no privacy, time off from work, interrupting my newly established job search...but it also means, seeing family I haven't seen in over 4 years, sun, beach, hopeful tan and a getaway from SF.

So after two days of trying to figure out if my loving (i'm being sarcastic when I say that too!) brother was going to front the money for my ticket which would probably take me months to pay off considering my money situation OR I wasn't going to go. But I found a loophole. I can use my miles for a partnering airline and go for free which...does wipe out all my miles...but that is ok. So I am off to Nicaragua for one full week in July.

Now I gotta figure out my mom's flight arrangements considering she is the other half of the party we are celebrating. Stupid brother...he only plans half of the shit. Seriously, how can I be related?! If he gives me shit on my trip, I am flat out kicking him in the ass and he can go spouting off to the family. I don't give a shit. "MY" dad will always side with me. Alhtough I DO get the lecture about sometimes needing to be the "bigger person". WTF does that mean?! He's OLDER...he should be the "bigger person".

Whatever...seriously...can you feel the love?