*tickle, tickle*, *cough, cough*
Uh-oh...a sore throat brings much foreboding. But I didn't think about it much on Tuesday. It was an annoyance really. I hate sore throats with a passion. I don't like feeling that irritation...the itch which inevitably brings about coughing. Maybe if I ignored it...it would go away.
Oh...if only I were so lucky. Wednesday came and went and I felt about the same. A friend convinced me to go to dinner and I went with the theory that I needed to eat anyways. The sore throat, hot weather (90+ degrees) and the food...made me extra sleepy and tired. I was not feeling well at all! Thursday came...along with a cough and sneezing. For something that I thought I could ignore and would go away...this ailment was definitely making it's presence known...and not in a way that I appreciated. I was so exhausted and lethargic. My brain kept going around in circles about all the stuff I should do or needed to do but the fact of that matter was that my body was failing me. I was sick...I just wasn't quite ready to accept the reality.
That is until Friday...I woke up with a raw throat and a *bubble head*. I was so congested...talking and breathing was difficult. I could not go into work like that! Despite having a growing pile of projects to complete and things to double check due to constant miscommunications with other departments. I could not go in...no way...no how. I called my coworker to explain and left a message for one of the bosses and stayed home all day. Ok...almost all day. I had to get groceries so I could feed the cold. That was difficult in itself considering I was having breathing issues due to the congestion. Most of the day, I stayed in bed and daydreamed about all the things I wanted to do...go check out a movie...go to Ti Couz and pick at my favorite seafood salad and ice tea and relax...go get my nails done...all that sounded fabulous! Until I snapped back to reality and remembered that I was in fact sick and this was not a hooky day. Gawd, how I wished it was a hooky day so I can catch up on my personal *wants* and relish the beautiful weather. Instead, I was coughing, sneezing, hacking, doped up on meds and lucky if I could even make it down the 50 steps to the street and to the car without passing out. Friday was not a good day...at all.
Saturday came around and I thought it was better. I felt better...less sore throat but still with the cough and congestion. I decided to keep my appointment for a facial and do a little shopping. I was fine for a while and then got tired and decided I best get home. Once I got home, things took a turn for the worse. My eye started bugging me and bottom line was I gave myself a damn eye infection. So I basically traded in that sore throat for a red, oozing, swollen eye. Great...really attractive! Didn't help that I had a date planned for the next day that I had to cancel entirely. Basically...things sucked up the wazoo! I do not make a good sick person. I get angry and whiny and impatient and agitated. I was so unhappy that I was missing out on a fantastic, beautiful weekend and had no control over my body whatsoever. It's awful when your body betrays you!
And by Sunday...I was downright miserable. I managed to get a doctors appointment to get the meds I needed to get rid of all my ailments. Medical technology is a wonderful thing...drugs are even better. I am hoping that by Friday...my cough, eye grossness, congestion and throat issues are long gone. I need to enjoy the next weekend...nice weather, fireworks, Fourth of July. My F-ed up body better get back on track by then or I will be highly upset with myself. I need to have fun and enjoy the city.
Ugh, I HATE being sick!!!
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
OMG...Is it F*ckin' June Already!?!?
What the heck happened?! FUCK!
Yea, yea...I've heard it from a lot of you. I haven't blogged in AGES! But seriously...how did it become June? *sigh*
So where did I leave off in the story of my life? Oh yea...Chicago!
So Chicago was a great trip but it was way too short and a little disappointing. I know a lot of people love Chicago but I was left with a feeling that I would only really go back to Chicago if it was convenient and only because there were quite a few things that I didn't get to see or experience that I really wish I had. I wish we had time to go to a jazz or blues club and relax and take advantage of the nightlife and the 4am alcohol curfew. In Chicago, bars are open until 4am! Can you believe it? It sounds fantastic to me. There were some Deco architecture tours I'd have loved to check out but the tours were not available on the days that we were there. Not to mention the boat tour.
When we first booked out trip, we were under the assumption that Chicago in May was fantastic! Spring weather, sunshine, light breeze...great walking around the city and be a tourist weather. Instead...we encountered with frigid, cold, borderline threatening to rain weather. We walked around in heavy jackets, scarves and gloves and would periodically stop, look at each other and say "it's fucking cold!". Actually...we probably said that like every block because it WAS fucking cold. The weather definitely put a crimp in our mood and in some of our plans.
But we did some fun stuff like see the view of Chicago from the Hancock Conservatory, walked the Magnificent Mile many, many times, shopped, went to millennium Park, checked out the Art Institute and tried a bunch of trendy (but not necessarily fantastic) restaurants.
What was fantastic? The sidecars at the Westin Bar...mmmmmmm....sidecars! After a couple of those, I can transport myself back to the 40's where I'm in a cute dress and flirting with a fab guy in a zoot suit. What...oh...sorry...daydreaming. And the margaritas were really good at Frontera Grill.
But you know...I would not advise anyone to repeat the same trip we made...too little time and with the flying out to Chicago at the break of dawn on a Saturday and coming back late Monday...we were beat! We tried to be party people and gear up to go out and have fun but as 11pm came around, the nodding off started as well as the uncontrollable yawning and the heavy eyelids. Gawd, we suck! See what old age starts doing to ya! =)
So that is the recap on Chicago...and yet so much has happened since. I swear, I will get caught up!! Stay tuned...
Yea, yea...I've heard it from a lot of you. I haven't blogged in AGES! But seriously...how did it become June? *sigh*
So where did I leave off in the story of my life? Oh yea...Chicago!
So Chicago was a great trip but it was way too short and a little disappointing. I know a lot of people love Chicago but I was left with a feeling that I would only really go back to Chicago if it was convenient and only because there were quite a few things that I didn't get to see or experience that I really wish I had. I wish we had time to go to a jazz or blues club and relax and take advantage of the nightlife and the 4am alcohol curfew. In Chicago, bars are open until 4am! Can you believe it? It sounds fantastic to me. There were some Deco architecture tours I'd have loved to check out but the tours were not available on the days that we were there. Not to mention the boat tour.
When we first booked out trip, we were under the assumption that Chicago in May was fantastic! Spring weather, sunshine, light breeze...great walking around the city and be a tourist weather. Instead...we encountered with frigid, cold, borderline threatening to rain weather. We walked around in heavy jackets, scarves and gloves and would periodically stop, look at each other and say "it's fucking cold!". Actually...we probably said that like every block because it WAS fucking cold. The weather definitely put a crimp in our mood and in some of our plans.
But we did some fun stuff like see the view of Chicago from the Hancock Conservatory, walked the Magnificent Mile many, many times, shopped, went to millennium Park, checked out the Art Institute and tried a bunch of trendy (but not necessarily fantastic) restaurants.
What was fantastic? The sidecars at the Westin Bar...mmmmmmm....sidecars! After a couple of those, I can transport myself back to the 40's where I'm in a cute dress and flirting with a fab guy in a zoot suit. What...oh...sorry...daydreaming. And the margaritas were really good at Frontera Grill.
But you know...I would not advise anyone to repeat the same trip we made...too little time and with the flying out to Chicago at the break of dawn on a Saturday and coming back late Monday...we were beat! We tried to be party people and gear up to go out and have fun but as 11pm came around, the nodding off started as well as the uncontrollable yawning and the heavy eyelids. Gawd, we suck! See what old age starts doing to ya! =)
So that is the recap on Chicago...and yet so much has happened since. I swear, I will get caught up!! Stay tuned...
Friday, May 12, 2006
Rain?!? In Chicago?!?
WHAT!!?!?!?!
After surviving through four straight months of rain...the last thing I want to deal with it water drops falling from the sky! But it looks like I have no choice. The weather forecast for my weekend in Chicago is rain, rain and more rain! *sigh* Can't a girl get a break...even on vacation?! Oh well...it's still a new city to be explored. It may be a tamer weekend than I expected but I'm in good company and it will be fun!
Take care all!
After surviving through four straight months of rain...the last thing I want to deal with it water drops falling from the sky! But it looks like I have no choice. The weather forecast for my weekend in Chicago is rain, rain and more rain! *sigh* Can't a girl get a break...even on vacation?! Oh well...it's still a new city to be explored. It may be a tamer weekend than I expected but I'm in good company and it will be fun!
Take care all!
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Chicago, Here I Come!!
So I am off to the *Windy City*! Land of amazing food, deep dish pizza, the Cubs, etc. Should be an interesting experience. I've never been to Chicago before and am totally clueless about what the sites are, what I will be doing and what I want to do! Good plan, huh?! But you know what? I'm not even stressed about that. It's such a short trip and I'm all about exploring places without any real purpose and stumbling upon something cool. I've gotten a lot of recommendations about where to eat and things to bring back and cool touristy places to visit so I am all set! It's exciting!! I've never been to the Midwest before but the people there seem friendly when they are in California so we'll see what it's like when I am on their turf!
Have a fantabulous weekend and I'll have Chicago stories when I get back!
Have a fantabulous weekend and I'll have Chicago stories when I get back!
Alcoholoroscopes
So...what's your drinking style??
ARIES
Drinking style: Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.
TAURUS
Drinking style: Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.
GEMINI
Drinking style: Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior much-- they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something unbelievable in an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.
CANCER
Drinking style: Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.
LEO
Drinking style: Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling - Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one who brought them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.
VIRGO
Drinking style: Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the subgenius IQ!
LIBRA
Drinking style: "I'm just a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's just that I'm so damn social." Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend device set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble -- including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with their best friend's beau or even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!
SCORPIO
Drinking style: Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool - though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.
SAGITTARIUS
Drinking style: In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hi-jinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).
CAPRICORN
Drinking style: Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who are you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hook up with a cute groupie.
AQUARIUS
Drinking style: Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist) Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.
PISCES
Drinking style: If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and wind up in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways you know.
ARIES
Drinking style: Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.
TAURUS
Drinking style: Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.
GEMINI
Drinking style: Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior much-- they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something unbelievable in an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.
CANCER
Drinking style: Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.
LEO
Drinking style: Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling - Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one who brought them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.
VIRGO
Drinking style: Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the subgenius IQ!
LIBRA
Drinking style: "I'm just a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's just that I'm so damn social." Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend device set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble -- including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with their best friend's beau or even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!
SCORPIO
Drinking style: Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool - though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.
SAGITTARIUS
Drinking style: In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hi-jinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).
CAPRICORN
Drinking style: Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who are you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hook up with a cute groupie.
AQUARIUS
Drinking style: Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist) Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.
PISCES
Drinking style: If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and wind up in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways you know.
My Addiction
So after much self-analyzation, I've discovered that I have my own sort of weird and insane addiction. An addiction to dating. Yea, I know sounds weird. People are addicted to booze, sex, drugs...but dating?! But I have been dating so much for so long that it seems like it needs to be a part of my life. So much so that I often put dating and meeting strangers ahead of my need to relax, my need to do laundry, my need to pay bills and my need to do my own thing. Why does a stranger take precedence over me? Especially when dating hasn't really paid off for me. Yes, I've met a lot of interesting people and I've acquired a lot of stories for my *All American Chick Lit Novel* but is it really worth it anymore? God knows I have enough research for the book and life is too short to be wasting on strangers right now. But to actually stop dating is a trial. I am so addicted to dating that I feel like I have to continue because *what if I lose out on meeting that one terrific guy if I stop. He may be my next blind date!* And even though I meet cool, interesting people, I can't grasp on that enough because I need to feed the addiction and date more guys and meet more people because even though this guy is cool, the next may be better. So bad. So after talking to a dear friend...ok...more like being lectured by a dear friend, I convinced myself that it's time to stop dating and take a break. I've pulled the profile and am going to focus on being out in the sun, organizing the apartment so it's fantabulous, being with my friends and enjoying all the things I miss because I've been too busy dating. The goal is to love and appreciate the things that make me again so that I don't have to dwell so much on the dating fiascos and that I will be more open to meeting a great guy for a *long term relationship* and give up my role of being a *chronic dater*. Because, let me tell you...being a chronic dater can be a total drag! Fun stories...but a drag.
The Demise of *The Guy*
Me and *the guy*…yea….do we see where this story is going? So me and *the guy* called it quits. Actually I did. Surprise, surprise!! But, hey…I stuck it out and tried to relax and as more time passed…I got more irritated. Fact is for being *together*, we weren’t together a lot and I definitely was not seeing the action that I wanted to be seeing.
All right…so let me explain…
Problem #1: Not astrologically compatible. Ok. So this isn’t a huge deal. I have dated the difficult signs…like Taurus…and the serious signs…like Cancer. But I was dealing with a Capricorn which is both difficult AND serious. And everything I read said that Libra and Capricorn was a match made in hell. Uh-oh…what?! Must tread very carefully. We weren’t a match made in hell…just conflicted.
Problem #2: Any guy I date has to have just a little bit of boldness and aggressiveness under their belt. I like to feel pursued and wanted. Instead, here I was pursuing him. I was the one making the arrangements and driving into the city to meet him. Really…what is that?! And I do not consider comments like *hey, you looked great Friday night…awwww, I am so sweet* cute. Ok…things are nice until you go and acknowledge that what you said was cute. And opening doors and then saying *I can be such a gentleman* is not really gentlemanly. Considering I have male friends that open my car doors, let me into restaurants before they enter, order for me and just take care of me in general…even though I am not a romantic interest, *the Guy* really was not a true gentleman. But I forgave him because he was cute and dorky. Oh yea…and after 9 dates…you’d have expected to have gotten some sort of action.
Problem #3: A Guy should definitely have some *cohones*. If I feel like I have more *cohones* than the guy...that is a bad thing. Then that makes me feel like I am the guy in the relationship and the guy is the girl. BAD!!! Again...this goes into the whole wanting to be wanted mentality.
Problem #4: Distance. It's hard when one lives in Oakland and the other lives on the Peninsula. You have to deal with 30 miles and a bridge. Hey...it may not seem like a big deal but when it's the girl doing all the driving and the guy just sits their waiting and that girl hates driving in the first place...totally big deal!!
Problem #5: Whining indecisive men are not attractive. I am indecisive. This is where the boldness and assertiveness that I want in a man comes into play. I want a guy that can make a decision. Where do you want to eat? I don't know...you decide. How about Italian? Perfect. See...easy! If I don't feel like Italian...I'd bring it up and suggest something else. Now when two people are going rounds and rounds trying to decide something...I am ready to throw my hands up in the air and go in the opposite direction. I mean...really...does it have to be so hard. And if said guy has something in mind...just say it! Pu-lease...just say it. Do not wait for me to suggest 10 other things to do before I come up with your idea and you agree to that. Talk about a waste of time...cohones...see...we're back to problem #3.
Too much stuff driving me crazy and with his whole *girls on Match are just looking for sex* comments, I wasn't about to sleep with him if I wasn't sure if I even wanted to continue seeing him. Because of that I did have to deal with *pent up* issues but like a dear friend reminded me, that is why we have Good Vibes (www.goodvibes.com). Hmmm...maybe that's too much information. Awww, heck...who are we kidding. Women have their toys and men have their porn and some have both. And people who don't realize that are living in Timbuktu!
All right…so let me explain…
Problem #1: Not astrologically compatible. Ok. So this isn’t a huge deal. I have dated the difficult signs…like Taurus…and the serious signs…like Cancer. But I was dealing with a Capricorn which is both difficult AND serious. And everything I read said that Libra and Capricorn was a match made in hell. Uh-oh…what?! Must tread very carefully. We weren’t a match made in hell…just conflicted.
Problem #2: Any guy I date has to have just a little bit of boldness and aggressiveness under their belt. I like to feel pursued and wanted. Instead, here I was pursuing him. I was the one making the arrangements and driving into the city to meet him. Really…what is that?! And I do not consider comments like *hey, you looked great Friday night…awwww, I am so sweet* cute. Ok…things are nice until you go and acknowledge that what you said was cute. And opening doors and then saying *I can be such a gentleman* is not really gentlemanly. Considering I have male friends that open my car doors, let me into restaurants before they enter, order for me and just take care of me in general…even though I am not a romantic interest, *the Guy* really was not a true gentleman. But I forgave him because he was cute and dorky. Oh yea…and after 9 dates…you’d have expected to have gotten some sort of action.
Problem #3: A Guy should definitely have some *cohones*. If I feel like I have more *cohones* than the guy...that is a bad thing. Then that makes me feel like I am the guy in the relationship and the guy is the girl. BAD!!! Again...this goes into the whole wanting to be wanted mentality.
Problem #4: Distance. It's hard when one lives in Oakland and the other lives on the Peninsula. You have to deal with 30 miles and a bridge. Hey...it may not seem like a big deal but when it's the girl doing all the driving and the guy just sits their waiting and that girl hates driving in the first place...totally big deal!!
Problem #5: Whining indecisive men are not attractive. I am indecisive. This is where the boldness and assertiveness that I want in a man comes into play. I want a guy that can make a decision. Where do you want to eat? I don't know...you decide. How about Italian? Perfect. See...easy! If I don't feel like Italian...I'd bring it up and suggest something else. Now when two people are going rounds and rounds trying to decide something...I am ready to throw my hands up in the air and go in the opposite direction. I mean...really...does it have to be so hard. And if said guy has something in mind...just say it! Pu-lease...just say it. Do not wait for me to suggest 10 other things to do before I come up with your idea and you agree to that. Talk about a waste of time...cohones...see...we're back to problem #3.
Too much stuff driving me crazy and with his whole *girls on Match are just looking for sex* comments, I wasn't about to sleep with him if I wasn't sure if I even wanted to continue seeing him. Because of that I did have to deal with *pent up* issues but like a dear friend reminded me, that is why we have Good Vibes (www.goodvibes.com). Hmmm...maybe that's too much information. Awww, heck...who are we kidding. Women have their toys and men have their porn and some have both. And people who don't realize that are living in Timbuktu!
Friday, April 28, 2006
Damn...
It's been two weeks already?! Where does the time go?!
I got stories..and stories...and more stories. I just need to try and sit down to type them all!
I hope you all have a sunny fabulous weekend! Here is to no more rain...Yay!!
I got stories..and stories...and more stories. I just need to try and sit down to type them all!
I hope you all have a sunny fabulous weekend! Here is to no more rain...Yay!!
Friday, April 14, 2006
Dear Neighbor...
I’m the new girl who lives above you. I’m a pretty good neighbor. I don’t throw parties, I try to take off my high-heeled shoes when I get home so I don’t clunck around the apartment and stomp all around your head. I haven’t been playing music or movies loud since I’ve barely been home. Yes, there’s the occasional Cash or Buble singing moment but they are legends in their own time and I have a pretty decent singing voice so you are getting entertained for free!
You’re a pretty decent neighbor. I don’t hear *much* noise. But I don’t care what the landlord says, I *know* they haven’t insulated the ceiling between our apartments. I can hear the mumbling of voices. I can hear your wife or girlfriend’s laugh, which is kinda high-pitched. I also can hear when she slams the frigging door to the apartment and yells at you in the hallway. Hellow!! The hallway is communal…you want to quiet it down over there?! Jeez…all I want in life is quiet...like that’s so much to ask. Especially at night! Thank god I’m not hearing you guys go at it because frankly, I can’t even deal with that stuff.
But what drives me close to insane is the snoring. Dude...really...go to a sleep clinic. Your snoring wakes *me* up. I sleep in a different apartment and hear you! And even though the high-pitched laughing, yelling at you girlfriend/wife annoys me...I feel bad for her being stuck sleeping with you. You must be hot or something...or she must be a very deep sleeper. But unfortunately, I'm stuck being a light sleeper now...and your snoring wakes me up! It makes me very cranky and tired on those mornings that I wake up wondering what woke me up and then listen carefully and hear the low but constant rumbling coming from your apartment. Grrrr!! Stop snoring! I'm sleep deprived because of you!
Would it be ok to slip a sleep clinic brochure and the bill for my earplugs under your door?? *sigh*
You’re a pretty decent neighbor. I don’t hear *much* noise. But I don’t care what the landlord says, I *know* they haven’t insulated the ceiling between our apartments. I can hear the mumbling of voices. I can hear your wife or girlfriend’s laugh, which is kinda high-pitched. I also can hear when she slams the frigging door to the apartment and yells at you in the hallway. Hellow!! The hallway is communal…you want to quiet it down over there?! Jeez…all I want in life is quiet...like that’s so much to ask. Especially at night! Thank god I’m not hearing you guys go at it because frankly, I can’t even deal with that stuff.
But what drives me close to insane is the snoring. Dude...really...go to a sleep clinic. Your snoring wakes *me* up. I sleep in a different apartment and hear you! And even though the high-pitched laughing, yelling at you girlfriend/wife annoys me...I feel bad for her being stuck sleeping with you. You must be hot or something...or she must be a very deep sleeper. But unfortunately, I'm stuck being a light sleeper now...and your snoring wakes me up! It makes me very cranky and tired on those mornings that I wake up wondering what woke me up and then listen carefully and hear the low but constant rumbling coming from your apartment. Grrrr!! Stop snoring! I'm sleep deprived because of you!
Would it be ok to slip a sleep clinic brochure and the bill for my earplugs under your door?? *sigh*
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Confessions of a Commitment-Phobe
Hello…my name is Valerie and I am a commitment-phobe.
And the sad truth is that I so am! I know this…I realize it…I can’t help it! I have the strongest “get out and run” reflex this side of the Mississippi. And I always have. I have no idea what my issue is! I have a very strong independent streak. I am stubborn. I am picky. I know what I want…sometimes. But when it comes to men…I freak out, get nervous and stressed out and it just becomes easier for me to leave than figure out what is making me feel the way I feel.
So I recently met a guy who is the guy in my head. I’m not sure if that makes sense. But I think everyone goes around with the image of the guy they see themselves with. I realize that in life, that doesn’t always happen. So *the guy* is tall, has dark features, has the absurdedly coveted goatee, is attractive, smart, funny and an all around good guy. So what is the problem? There isn’t really anything wrong with him at all. Not at all! And if I had to really think about why things could be a total bust…the only things that come to mind are that he isn’t as bold or aggressive as I am used to and that he lives farther than I would like. Considering that we’ve only been on four dates, that isn’t really a deal breaker. He can be shy. He can be very respectful and over analyzing what I mean by “going slow” from my match profile.
The other day, I called my dear friend to kind of get her point of view. Of course, I never come out and just say it. I ask her how she ended up meeting her husband and how things were in the beginning, etc. before I go into details of *the guy*.
She stops and asks me “So, what excuse are you coming up with now?”
Me: What do you mean?
Her: C’mon Valerie, you are such a commitment-phobe. What’s wrong with *the guy*?
Me: Start laughing hysterically in the middle of grocery store (I may be banned from TJ’s now for being a crazy person!) Well, nothing really is wrong with *the guy*. He’s nice and sweet and gives me my space and is really understanding but he isn’t very aggressive and he lives kinda far and it seems like a drag.
Her: Some people have weekend relationships and he’s just shy. Reee-lllaaaaxx! Have fun with it.
Me: Yea, yea…you’re right. What’s wrong with me? How come I always freak out? He’s a nice guy. He’s *the guy* in my head. People look at his picture and know why I’m with him. Why am I so friggin’ phobic!?
I am totally phobic. I realize this and it frustrates me. I am scared of many things. I am scared of losing my personal time. I am scared of having to answer to someone else. I am scared of letting my guard down enough to be completely taken over by someone. I am scared of giving my heart to another and having it stomped to bits. I am scared of falling in love and I am scared of someone falling in love with me. I completely and totally am scared of all of this and probably more. Do I have reason to be scared…yes…but not to the point of being this completely phobic that I am about to run away from *the guy* who fits the *hot guy with geeky qualities* that I have been looking for everywhere! I thought he didn’t exist but he does!
So I am going to take a step back, take a deep breath and RE-LAX and just see where things take me.
And the sad truth is that I so am! I know this…I realize it…I can’t help it! I have the strongest “get out and run” reflex this side of the Mississippi. And I always have. I have no idea what my issue is! I have a very strong independent streak. I am stubborn. I am picky. I know what I want…sometimes. But when it comes to men…I freak out, get nervous and stressed out and it just becomes easier for me to leave than figure out what is making me feel the way I feel.
So I recently met a guy who is the guy in my head. I’m not sure if that makes sense. But I think everyone goes around with the image of the guy they see themselves with. I realize that in life, that doesn’t always happen. So *the guy* is tall, has dark features, has the absurdedly coveted goatee, is attractive, smart, funny and an all around good guy. So what is the problem? There isn’t really anything wrong with him at all. Not at all! And if I had to really think about why things could be a total bust…the only things that come to mind are that he isn’t as bold or aggressive as I am used to and that he lives farther than I would like. Considering that we’ve only been on four dates, that isn’t really a deal breaker. He can be shy. He can be very respectful and over analyzing what I mean by “going slow” from my match profile.
The other day, I called my dear friend to kind of get her point of view. Of course, I never come out and just say it. I ask her how she ended up meeting her husband and how things were in the beginning, etc. before I go into details of *the guy*.
She stops and asks me “So, what excuse are you coming up with now?”
Me: What do you mean?
Her: C’mon Valerie, you are such a commitment-phobe. What’s wrong with *the guy*?
Me: Start laughing hysterically in the middle of grocery store (I may be banned from TJ’s now for being a crazy person!) Well, nothing really is wrong with *the guy*. He’s nice and sweet and gives me my space and is really understanding but he isn’t very aggressive and he lives kinda far and it seems like a drag.
Her: Some people have weekend relationships and he’s just shy. Reee-lllaaaaxx! Have fun with it.
Me: Yea, yea…you’re right. What’s wrong with me? How come I always freak out? He’s a nice guy. He’s *the guy* in my head. People look at his picture and know why I’m with him. Why am I so friggin’ phobic!?
I am totally phobic. I realize this and it frustrates me. I am scared of many things. I am scared of losing my personal time. I am scared of having to answer to someone else. I am scared of letting my guard down enough to be completely taken over by someone. I am scared of giving my heart to another and having it stomped to bits. I am scared of falling in love and I am scared of someone falling in love with me. I completely and totally am scared of all of this and probably more. Do I have reason to be scared…yes…but not to the point of being this completely phobic that I am about to run away from *the guy* who fits the *hot guy with geeky qualities* that I have been looking for everywhere! I thought he didn’t exist but he does!
So I am going to take a step back, take a deep breath and RE-LAX and just see where things take me.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Please Stop Raining!!
Ugh...people can only take so much rain! Is this what the folks in Seattle go through? Now what they say about the insane amount of rain and depression and it being the state with the highest rate of suicide totally makes sense! I cannot take anymore rain!!And of course, when the sun finally pokes through...I am sick and can't go out since I can barely walk three blocks without having the insane desire to pass out on the sidewalk. Yea...that'd be great! Can you imagine? And if something like that ever happened to me, the guys at work would hear about it and I'd never live it down.
It rained 25 days in March and we're probably going onto 5 days for April. Never do I remember as much rain in the Bay Area as this year.
It's spring! I want to go out and take a stroll in the crisp air, be excited about going to the park over the weekend, go to the outdoor festivals on a sunny Saturday and have all of the outdoors at my use without worrying about whether or not I have an umbrella, if I am wearing the right shoes or getting raindrops on my glasses. Ohhhh...I hate raindrops on my glasses. Because not only am I wet and cold...I'm also blind. Damn rain!! Give me a break!
Please, please stop the raining!!
Thursday, March 02, 2006
The Art of Blogging
So I tell people that I blog...but how true is that?
We all know that I have not been blogging lately...and it isn't for a lack of wanting to. It's been more that I have been so insanely busy, I barely know what to do with myself. But I miss blogging and I miss my audience and I miss telling my outrageous insane stories. Seriously, I have no idea how I got my life...ok...I know how I came to exist and dude, I'd rather not think about that because that's kind of eeewwwww. Eewwwwww! Ugh I just grossed myself out. Ok, what I mean is that weird and strange shit happens to me...mainly because I internet date and well...there are some *cough* interesting characters out there. And with that territory comes interesting, crack me up, *NOWAY!* stories.
Life these past six months have been a roller coaster...but a fun one. A new job, a new apartment, a new city...everything has been a new change and a change for the better. I've dated here and there and have had fun but sometimes I think I take too much on. I haven't had the alone down time I am used to and that alone time is blog time baby! I want to be proud to say that *I blog...you should check me out at blahdeblah*...not *oh well, I kinda blog but I've been so busy I haven't had time lately but there are some good stories from a few months ago*. Yea...that DOES not cut it in my book!
The first step in the Art of Blogging is to blog and be proud of it! And that's just what I am going to do. So stay tuned to FogCityDweller for future programming.
We all know that I have not been blogging lately...and it isn't for a lack of wanting to. It's been more that I have been so insanely busy, I barely know what to do with myself. But I miss blogging and I miss my audience and I miss telling my outrageous insane stories. Seriously, I have no idea how I got my life...ok...I know how I came to exist and dude, I'd rather not think about that because that's kind of eeewwwww. Eewwwwww! Ugh I just grossed myself out. Ok, what I mean is that weird and strange shit happens to me...mainly because I internet date and well...there are some *cough* interesting characters out there. And with that territory comes interesting, crack me up, *NOWAY!* stories.
Life these past six months have been a roller coaster...but a fun one. A new job, a new apartment, a new city...everything has been a new change and a change for the better. I've dated here and there and have had fun but sometimes I think I take too much on. I haven't had the alone down time I am used to and that alone time is blog time baby! I want to be proud to say that *I blog...you should check me out at blahdeblah*...not *oh well, I kinda blog but I've been so busy I haven't had time lately but there are some good stories from a few months ago*. Yea...that DOES not cut it in my book!
The first step in the Art of Blogging is to blog and be proud of it! And that's just what I am going to do. So stay tuned to FogCityDweller for future programming.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
R.I.P. Sean
In life, you come across people that stay with you forever and some that stay with you for just a moment. I was recently surprised and saddened to hear that this young, cute guy to the left, passed away. A interesting life that was taken away way too soon. It's hard to accept death, whether it be a family member or a friend. The truth of the matter is that Sean was neither to me. But I was still affected and sad.So a week ago, I heard on the news that a surfer drowned at Ocean Beach. I didn't think much of it. Sadly, it's happened to many before. The waves and surf is pretty rough and frigid out there. A couple of days later, I grabbed the paper so I could read it and saw a picture of Sean on the front page and did a double take. The drowned surfer was him! Shock, surprise and disbelief.
About a year and a half ago, Sean was one of the guys I started talking to off of Match.com. He seemed smart, sweet, cute, interesting and an all around nice guy. We set up a time to meet and at the last moment, neurotic me cancelled our date and I never rescheduled. Life was too busy, I was too lazy to go through another "interview", he wasn't completely my type...whatever my lame excuse may have been...I always resented that I never contacted him to try and explain and reschedule. As the months went by, I would come across his profile on Match and think that maybe if I emailed him, I could apologize and maybe meet him for coffee. He just seemed like such a good guy amongst all the freaks and crazies I normally end up dating. But I never did...
I don't think I could have changed destiny or that I would have been able to save him that day if I was more involved in his life. He discovered a love for surfing and that love and thrill killed him. But I guess there is that feeling of "you never know what could have happpened".
To a wonderful life extinguished too early...Rest in Peace Sean.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Isn't it great...
when you feel like crap...you get comments like this...
"you could pass for 22 - being 30 looks so good on you. =)"
Bob...you are the greatest! Let me know if you need a backup singer for your band! =)
"you could pass for 22 - being 30 looks so good on you. =)"
Bob...you are the greatest! Let me know if you need a backup singer for your band! =)
The Selfish Year
That's what I have proclaimed this year to be. Many may say that I was selfish enough this past year but in my mind, I consider 2005 to be the "lost year". Last year I spent way too much time and effort trying to get my life back on track while dating a conveyor line of losers. Ok, that's harsh. They weren't all losers...some were nice guys but they just weren't the guys for me. But despite 2005 being the lost year....all the hard work and sleepless nights and hard decisions finally came through. I found a job I love and just moved to an apartment and neighborhood that I never dreamed I could have. The sad part...or perhaps not so sad...was leaving the city. I no longer live in fog and that is probably the strangest part of everything. But deep down inside, I will always be a FogCityDweller...a city girl at heart with big city attitude. My small town coworkers seem to love the dripping sarcasm and the "get your act together" tone and I love that I am accepted for me and not this false act that I have to put on for work. The apartment is awesome! It's a mess and needs a loving touch which I haven't had the time or energy to put into the place yet but it has all the qualities I ever wanted. Of course, I would have wanted all this in the city but the rents are too high and I never would have been able to afford it. So now I get to work with firemen and live in an awesome pre-WWII apartment building two blocks from the main drag. Who couldn't be happier?!
So it took me a very long time to get this point and I am still not 100% "there". Finding a job and a place that I enjoy has been a challenge and I still need to find the man that compliments me. That seems to be the hardest thing ever! But for the time being...I need to be selfish. There are a lot of things I miss that I haven't had the time for lately. Blogging is one of them...as well as stitching, knitting, reading, watching movies and wandering aimlessly. I need to reclaim these things!
I still have the same mentality about dating. I date once in a while and if I can't make an immediate determination on attraction, I falter and falter big time. Why can't I come to the realization that it is pretty difficult to find a total stud muffin of a guy with a geek mentality? It's impossible! Give it up Valerie!! But I can't..I meet great guys that I seem to have loads in common with but in my mind...I see myself with studmuffin. Beauty is only skin deep...I know this. I get upset when guys just dish the compliments about my looks but not about my personality. So why am I a hypocrite in this area. I want to be appreciated for more than just my looks because there is more to me than that. Why can't I do the same?
And it doesn't help that when I do meet someone that I seem to get along with really well and am contemplating "giving it a chance" despite the whole attraction thing, the ex resurfaces and not in a good way. He's depressed and I am worried. And I worry for two reasons...worried because he seems so incredibly down and in the dumps and worried for the wave of emotions that takes over whenever I hear from him. I guess deep down, the feelings of love are still there. I love him...but I am not "in love" with him. We're too different and a pretty darn good sex life with him isn't enough to maintain anything. I just need to find that and more with someone else.
So as much as the new job and the new place have made me quite happy, I still need to focus on me and my likes and wants. I am not as settled or in the position that I would like to be.
So it took me a very long time to get this point and I am still not 100% "there". Finding a job and a place that I enjoy has been a challenge and I still need to find the man that compliments me. That seems to be the hardest thing ever! But for the time being...I need to be selfish. There are a lot of things I miss that I haven't had the time for lately. Blogging is one of them...as well as stitching, knitting, reading, watching movies and wandering aimlessly. I need to reclaim these things!
I still have the same mentality about dating. I date once in a while and if I can't make an immediate determination on attraction, I falter and falter big time. Why can't I come to the realization that it is pretty difficult to find a total stud muffin of a guy with a geek mentality? It's impossible! Give it up Valerie!! But I can't..I meet great guys that I seem to have loads in common with but in my mind...I see myself with studmuffin. Beauty is only skin deep...I know this. I get upset when guys just dish the compliments about my looks but not about my personality. So why am I a hypocrite in this area. I want to be appreciated for more than just my looks because there is more to me than that. Why can't I do the same?
And it doesn't help that when I do meet someone that I seem to get along with really well and am contemplating "giving it a chance" despite the whole attraction thing, the ex resurfaces and not in a good way. He's depressed and I am worried. And I worry for two reasons...worried because he seems so incredibly down and in the dumps and worried for the wave of emotions that takes over whenever I hear from him. I guess deep down, the feelings of love are still there. I love him...but I am not "in love" with him. We're too different and a pretty darn good sex life with him isn't enough to maintain anything. I just need to find that and more with someone else.
So as much as the new job and the new place have made me quite happy, I still need to focus on me and my likes and wants. I am not as settled or in the position that I would like to be.
Friday, December 02, 2005
My Apartment is Winning!
I give up! I am sitting here knowing that I should be taking the time to clean my apartment. If it was a game between me vs. the apartment...the apartment is winning. You guys should now be worried. I mean, if you don't hear from me for a while, it may just be because the apartment won and I am now buried under the 100 cd's that fell on the floor, magazines, mail, xmas items, old computer parts and all the other crap that is littered all over the place. Who has time for cleaning! And if I have the time...that usually is the last thing I want to do.
I need to clean...I mean...it's xmas time and I want to put up my tree...but I just started looking at apartments because...yup, I need to move. I want to move closer to work because the commute is killing me! So should I put up the tree of just pack up my stuff. I mean, I don't want to move right at the new year...just thinking about it freaks me out but at the same time...what the heck am I waiting for. I think I'll put up the tree and just start packing everything else to prepare fpr the day when I find THE place.
Wish me luck!
I need to clean...I mean...it's xmas time and I want to put up my tree...but I just started looking at apartments because...yup, I need to move. I want to move closer to work because the commute is killing me! So should I put up the tree of just pack up my stuff. I mean, I don't want to move right at the new year...just thinking about it freaks me out but at the same time...what the heck am I waiting for. I think I'll put up the tree and just start packing everything else to prepare fpr the day when I find THE place.
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Happy Turkey Day!!
Happy Thanksgiving! Sorry for the disappearance…yet again. Things seriously have gotten crazy for me lately and that is minus all the insane dating. I mean…I still date…once in a while. But nowhere near the confusing and time consuming guy juggling that I was doing earlier in the year. And you know what that means…not as many interesting stories! I know…you guys are crushed!
A good friend of mine reminded me that one of the hardest times of transition for someone is when they start a new job and I cannot agree with her more right now. I started my new job in August…3 months ago! I am still trying to find my routine and without a routine…I am a scatterbrained mess. I am behind on calls, emails, blogging and cleaning. I have no time for anything other than commuting, working and visiting with the parentals/friends and making sure I get fed some way or another. Forget dating! I had to take my profile down because I was seriously blanking on whether I had already spoken to someone and what their name was. Seriously! I even went to the point of emailing this guy and telling him it was great chatting with him but that it would be nice to know what his name was (since he never signed off on the emails…HATE that by the way!). After I hit the send button, I realized that he had told me what his name was in his original email to me and I had just forgotten. Ugh!! So then I had to email back and make some excuse. Amazingly…the guy is still talking to me weeks later. Probably because we are both too busy to be starting over with other people and we have enough commonalities. Although, he is a little too serious for my taste…but we’ll see.
Overall, nothing exciting has happened. A couple of dates here and there, a longer commute and just plugging along. My parents are both finally back from their Nicaraguan excursion and in town through the holidays and I was able to escape to Puerto Vallarta for 6 blessed days of sun and nothing else. I’d give anything to be back on the beach. Two days back and I was back to the same daily grind.
So all in all…the same old stuff. Over the past month, I had things to talk about and I would make a mental note of “hey, must remember this to blog about”, but you know what, I can’t f-in remember what the hell those stories are now. So I will just leave it at this.
I hope everyone has a fantabulous holiday weekend and I’m sure I’ll have more interesting things to share after the weekend because, you know…family just does that to you.
A good friend of mine reminded me that one of the hardest times of transition for someone is when they start a new job and I cannot agree with her more right now. I started my new job in August…3 months ago! I am still trying to find my routine and without a routine…I am a scatterbrained mess. I am behind on calls, emails, blogging and cleaning. I have no time for anything other than commuting, working and visiting with the parentals/friends and making sure I get fed some way or another. Forget dating! I had to take my profile down because I was seriously blanking on whether I had already spoken to someone and what their name was. Seriously! I even went to the point of emailing this guy and telling him it was great chatting with him but that it would be nice to know what his name was (since he never signed off on the emails…HATE that by the way!). After I hit the send button, I realized that he had told me what his name was in his original email to me and I had just forgotten. Ugh!! So then I had to email back and make some excuse. Amazingly…the guy is still talking to me weeks later. Probably because we are both too busy to be starting over with other people and we have enough commonalities. Although, he is a little too serious for my taste…but we’ll see.
Overall, nothing exciting has happened. A couple of dates here and there, a longer commute and just plugging along. My parents are both finally back from their Nicaraguan excursion and in town through the holidays and I was able to escape to Puerto Vallarta for 6 blessed days of sun and nothing else. I’d give anything to be back on the beach. Two days back and I was back to the same daily grind.
So all in all…the same old stuff. Over the past month, I had things to talk about and I would make a mental note of “hey, must remember this to blog about”, but you know what, I can’t f-in remember what the hell those stories are now. So I will just leave it at this.
I hope everyone has a fantabulous holiday weekend and I’m sure I’ll have more interesting things to share after the weekend because, you know…family just does that to you.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Some people...
Some people deserve what they get...others do not. Some people give while others only take. Some people love while others only hate and some people pick themselves up constantly despite being knocked down time and again. I feel like one of the latter. Someone who just wants to be happy despite the bullshit.
It's hard to be bright and happy when you've felt as though your family has been under attack for years and all you want is justice and the right to retain what is rightfully yours.
Many don't know the details or the plight. It's depressing and stressful to talk about and when I do, I get agitated and mad at a man who uses connections for the wrong reasons and a country that is so behind the times. But I will now...the saga isn't completely over. More is to come...and how long this will take is beyond me but I can only hope that what happened today will open the eyes of many who protected the man who took so much away from all of us. From me, my brother, my sister, my mother but most importantly, from my father.
Four years ago, we began the battle to get a house back in Nicaragua. It is a house that has been in our family for five generations. My father grew up in this house and when he was younger, he dreamed of retiring back in Nicaragua. To find some repose after years of difficult blue collar work to support three kids. But after so many years in the states...he got used to the fog and I think a small part of it had to do that he couldn't bear to be far away from me. I'm the youngest...the only one he was allowed to hold right after being born and the bond between father and daughter became forever strong. Sure he drives me crazy and we don't see eye to eye but that's to be expected when there is a 47 year age gap.
About 6 years ago, my father decided to rent the house in Nicaragua. My great-aunt passed away and it was just sitting empty. Renting that house was the biggest mistake of our lives. Never did we think that man who rented the house was corrupt, a liar, an opportunist and a thief. Four years ago, he decided he didn't need to pay rent anymore and that he made enough home improvements to the house that wasn't even his...and improvements which he didn't actually do. And in his sick and twisted mind, he decided that the house was his and that he didn't need to pay rent anymore.
The court system in Nicaragua is still very corrupt. Many of the judges are old timers who were there under Sandinista rule and if someone is willing to grease their hand a little, they'll swing whatever way the money will despite who is right and who is wrong. We aren't that way. We believe in justice instead of out and out greed. The renter was lucky enough to have ties and connections and apparently money since he wasn't paying us rent to be greasing the hands of many a judge and many an attorney. Four years of headaches...four years of lies and four years of fighting to get back a house that was ours...IS ours. My great-grandfather is probably rolling over in his grave at the horror that we were so close to losing this house...HIS house to this monstrous man and his equally monstrous and selfish family. God forbid they WORK to retain property like my ancestors did...all in the hope of providing for their family and their family and so on. THAT house is a legacy! And for four years my father battled appeal after appeal for whatever stupid little discrepancy the renter's attorney could find. In the back of his mind, my father worried about losing out on the legacy...what he had counted on to leave for his family. And today...there was a sweet reward. For two weeks we anticipated the eviction would be today. And we waited with bated breath what the outcome would be. If we would be thrown a wrench at the last minute. We weren't...my father was given the key the night before and went to the house this morning with the judge and the police to take possession of our home.
And I think that FINALLY the judge realized what sort of a BASTARD we had been dealing with for the better part of a decade. What sort of man everyone protected. The fact that we had to plead with the President to ask for help and assignment of someone who could help us in this case. My mother pleaded with the President because my father was too proud to ask for help from a distant relative that he barely knew. Yes...the prez is a relative. My mother wasn't so much...we needed help. We needed a "clean" attorney. We were refused by so many attorneys because the renter was friends with everyone it seemed like, from his Sandinista days.
As with many things...there is a good side and a bad side. The good is that we now have possession of the house. The bad is that he took everything. All the antique furniture my aunt stupidly left in the house because she was to lazy to find storage. All of it...gone. All the wires from the electrical sockets...ripped out. Sink basins and toilets...stolen. Garden....dug up. Water bill and electric bill...left unpaid. He raped my entire family by doing this. He took everything, he sucked us dry. The money to fix the electrical, the garden, change the locks, pay the bills in default, buy an iron gate and hire a securty guard. It is endless. I hope my parents realize that this is done. To fix the house, sell it and just settle here. The only thing that Nicaragua holds for me...for us..is family. There is so much pain. This is the second attempt to get back property. We sold the first...this is the second. If you don't live there...it's not worth it. As beautiful as the country is, the people are opportunists. Who needs to live somewhere where people rob each other in such a blantant disregard of possessions and property.
The destruction was intentional and I hope to God...there being one...that his hand strikes down hard, heavy and precise. Justice still needs to be served in my eyes. Again, we must go through court proceedings to claim stolen property. My mother is besides herself at the loss of all that furniture. I hope this situation opened the judge's eyes. We are not dealing with a "respected member of society". He is a criminal and needs to be dealt with accordingly. May he rot in jail and may his family suffer as much as ours.
My father is thousands of miles away and I feel the intense need to be with him. I don't think he should be alone. He is 77 years old. He doesn't need this kind of stress. He should be relaxing and enjoying retirement instead of working to get a house back to it's former colonial beauty and protecting it from blatant criminals. To putter around the garden, to walk around the house with his TV Guide "bible", to bicker with my crazy mom and to tell me I am right and mom is crazy. I miss my dad. He's been gone since February and even though I was lucky enough to see him for a week in July...that isn't enough. With this second proceeding, who knows when he will come back . His man has robbed months and years of quality time between me and my dad in his golden years. He is not a young man...nor is he a healthy man but my dad is a workhorse.
And from thousands of miles away, I think about how much my dad has dealt with...oftentimes, alone. All for the sake of family...and I think about the man who almost took it all away...who still managed to escape with much...and I feel such deep and intense hatred that it makes me mad and sad. Mad that someone is so fucking blind at the justices of the world and the simple concept of right vs. wrong and sad that I can feel such hatred for someone else and of the time taken away from my father.
I can only hope that justice be served in one form or another...
It's hard to be bright and happy when you've felt as though your family has been under attack for years and all you want is justice and the right to retain what is rightfully yours.
Many don't know the details or the plight. It's depressing and stressful to talk about and when I do, I get agitated and mad at a man who uses connections for the wrong reasons and a country that is so behind the times. But I will now...the saga isn't completely over. More is to come...and how long this will take is beyond me but I can only hope that what happened today will open the eyes of many who protected the man who took so much away from all of us. From me, my brother, my sister, my mother but most importantly, from my father.
Four years ago, we began the battle to get a house back in Nicaragua. It is a house that has been in our family for five generations. My father grew up in this house and when he was younger, he dreamed of retiring back in Nicaragua. To find some repose after years of difficult blue collar work to support three kids. But after so many years in the states...he got used to the fog and I think a small part of it had to do that he couldn't bear to be far away from me. I'm the youngest...the only one he was allowed to hold right after being born and the bond between father and daughter became forever strong. Sure he drives me crazy and we don't see eye to eye but that's to be expected when there is a 47 year age gap.
About 6 years ago, my father decided to rent the house in Nicaragua. My great-aunt passed away and it was just sitting empty. Renting that house was the biggest mistake of our lives. Never did we think that man who rented the house was corrupt, a liar, an opportunist and a thief. Four years ago, he decided he didn't need to pay rent anymore and that he made enough home improvements to the house that wasn't even his...and improvements which he didn't actually do. And in his sick and twisted mind, he decided that the house was his and that he didn't need to pay rent anymore.
The court system in Nicaragua is still very corrupt. Many of the judges are old timers who were there under Sandinista rule and if someone is willing to grease their hand a little, they'll swing whatever way the money will despite who is right and who is wrong. We aren't that way. We believe in justice instead of out and out greed. The renter was lucky enough to have ties and connections and apparently money since he wasn't paying us rent to be greasing the hands of many a judge and many an attorney. Four years of headaches...four years of lies and four years of fighting to get back a house that was ours...IS ours. My great-grandfather is probably rolling over in his grave at the horror that we were so close to losing this house...HIS house to this monstrous man and his equally monstrous and selfish family. God forbid they WORK to retain property like my ancestors did...all in the hope of providing for their family and their family and so on. THAT house is a legacy! And for four years my father battled appeal after appeal for whatever stupid little discrepancy the renter's attorney could find. In the back of his mind, my father worried about losing out on the legacy...what he had counted on to leave for his family. And today...there was a sweet reward. For two weeks we anticipated the eviction would be today. And we waited with bated breath what the outcome would be. If we would be thrown a wrench at the last minute. We weren't...my father was given the key the night before and went to the house this morning with the judge and the police to take possession of our home.
And I think that FINALLY the judge realized what sort of a BASTARD we had been dealing with for the better part of a decade. What sort of man everyone protected. The fact that we had to plead with the President to ask for help and assignment of someone who could help us in this case. My mother pleaded with the President because my father was too proud to ask for help from a distant relative that he barely knew. Yes...the prez is a relative. My mother wasn't so much...we needed help. We needed a "clean" attorney. We were refused by so many attorneys because the renter was friends with everyone it seemed like, from his Sandinista days.
As with many things...there is a good side and a bad side. The good is that we now have possession of the house. The bad is that he took everything. All the antique furniture my aunt stupidly left in the house because she was to lazy to find storage. All of it...gone. All the wires from the electrical sockets...ripped out. Sink basins and toilets...stolen. Garden....dug up. Water bill and electric bill...left unpaid. He raped my entire family by doing this. He took everything, he sucked us dry. The money to fix the electrical, the garden, change the locks, pay the bills in default, buy an iron gate and hire a securty guard. It is endless. I hope my parents realize that this is done. To fix the house, sell it and just settle here. The only thing that Nicaragua holds for me...for us..is family. There is so much pain. This is the second attempt to get back property. We sold the first...this is the second. If you don't live there...it's not worth it. As beautiful as the country is, the people are opportunists. Who needs to live somewhere where people rob each other in such a blantant disregard of possessions and property.
The destruction was intentional and I hope to God...there being one...that his hand strikes down hard, heavy and precise. Justice still needs to be served in my eyes. Again, we must go through court proceedings to claim stolen property. My mother is besides herself at the loss of all that furniture. I hope this situation opened the judge's eyes. We are not dealing with a "respected member of society". He is a criminal and needs to be dealt with accordingly. May he rot in jail and may his family suffer as much as ours.
My father is thousands of miles away and I feel the intense need to be with him. I don't think he should be alone. He is 77 years old. He doesn't need this kind of stress. He should be relaxing and enjoying retirement instead of working to get a house back to it's former colonial beauty and protecting it from blatant criminals. To putter around the garden, to walk around the house with his TV Guide "bible", to bicker with my crazy mom and to tell me I am right and mom is crazy. I miss my dad. He's been gone since February and even though I was lucky enough to see him for a week in July...that isn't enough. With this second proceeding, who knows when he will come back . His man has robbed months and years of quality time between me and my dad in his golden years. He is not a young man...nor is he a healthy man but my dad is a workhorse.
And from thousands of miles away, I think about how much my dad has dealt with...oftentimes, alone. All for the sake of family...and I think about the man who almost took it all away...who still managed to escape with much...and I feel such deep and intense hatred that it makes me mad and sad. Mad that someone is so fucking blind at the justices of the world and the simple concept of right vs. wrong and sad that I can feel such hatred for someone else and of the time taken away from my father.
I can only hope that justice be served in one form or another...
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
A Failed Attempt...
Well, I should be relaxing and knitting but I have a stack of mail beside me to go through and all I can think about if how I was so eager to start cooking by myself. To save a few dollars on take-out and be a normal adult. I mean, I have been subsisting on salads, canned soup and sandwiches for the better part of three years.It's time I learn the right side of a knife and learn the difference between chopped and julienne. So I come here to share my failed attempt. A friend (hi AM) gave me this recipe for curry...I'm a huge fan of curry...thai, indian...it doesn't really matter. But I rarely eat it out and thought it would be good if me, Ms. White Girl, could make some yummy curry. Well, it smelled yummy. It looked yummy BUT...it certainly did not taste yummy. Something happened. WHAT HAPPENED!! *sigh* Apparently I was not given "the gift". I obviously oversalted it almost to the point of inedible. I feel a little defeated.
To make myself feel better, I made a pie. No...I wasn't gonna eat the whole pie myself! I already have issues fitting into my pants. But the pumpkin festival is this coming weekend, I love pumpin anything (bread, pie, ice cream,pancakes). Yummmmmmmm! I made the pie to take to work...it was a hit. I knew it would be. Pumpkin pie is easy...and I make a good one. So I kind of redeemed myself.
As far as the curry..."if at first you don't succeed, try, try again". So...I guess I'll try again.
To make myself feel better, I made a pie. No...I wasn't gonna eat the whole pie myself! I already have issues fitting into my pants. But the pumpkin festival is this coming weekend, I love pumpin anything (bread, pie, ice cream,pancakes). Yummmmmmmm! I made the pie to take to work...it was a hit. I knew it would be. Pumpkin pie is easy...and I make a good one. So I kind of redeemed myself.
As far as the curry..."if at first you don't succeed, try, try again". So...I guess I'll try again.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
I'm in Love!
Yep...I'm in love with this really hot guy who's fit, funny, hot, smart, looks good in tight tee-shirts, friendly, honest and hot. I even find his Texas accent attractive. What is up with THAT?
Here's his picture...isn't he dreamy?! His name is George and he's a Crime Scene Investigator. He works graveyard so I don't get to see him much...
Here's his picture...isn't he dreamy?! His name is George and he's a Crime Scene Investigator. He works graveyard so I don't get to see him much...
Oh was I saying that out loud?! Oopsie...seriously though...isn't he friggin hot! I wish I was a super smart nerdy scientist so that I could clone him and have my very own George Eads.
I am now a CSI addict because of him. Well that and the fact it's a very good show despite the grody parts. I know when, what time and what channel the show is on. Thank goodness for Netflix too. I am on disc three of season one...I got lots of George to watch. Yum!
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