Betrayed

As of 11pm tonight, I'm back to being a single girl. I didn't think I would feel happy to be single at the end of all this but I am...and extremely relieved. The last month has been a roller coaster ride of sadness, anger, disbelief and in the end, a lot of hurt and pain. I won't go into too much detail but it involved a massive amount of crying...and a massive amount of anger. I don't think I've been so angry and disappointed in another person in my whole life. *The boy* who is now just another ex got himself so sick that he ended up passing out in the street and being sent to the hospital. There he stayed for nine days.

What makes me upset is that his mother was supposed to book his ticket and the day he was set to leave, he discovers his flight was booked out of the wrong airport. Who does that!? Bad enough to book it wrong but then to not double check that the person booking actually did it right? That was bad enough! I had booked my vacation for the same week he was leaving. He'd be gone on a Monday and the next 7 days were to be mine...to regroup, pick myself up and do a few fun things for myself. But...no...he was stuck here and I had to deal with him. Then two days later, he was in the hospital. Haven't I done this already? WTF?! So he was *really* sick. It was all avoidable and preventable which made me angrier and I felt like I just couldn't deal with it. It seemed worse than a broken leg and I called his mother to tell her how sick he was and could you believe that she wouldn't come out?! Or send someone?! So guess who had to deal with it all? Yea...me. The ex-girlfriend trying to get her loafer ex-boyfriend the hell out of her place. I have never wanted to tell off a 70-year old off before that day...I still do...but that's fading. I will still send her an email on my feelings but I promise not to curse at her. I was raised better...respect your elders and all that stuff.

And during the hospital stay, the lies and betrayal came to the surface. So not only am I sad and uber-angry, I find I was used, taken advantage of, lied to and discovered things were used or taken without permission. It is all so unforgiveable.

A ruined vacation, a broken heart and a red mood that will not quit.

I put up with a bad situation all because of hope and now I realize I should have let go a good year ago and given myself the restart then. Then, I was scared of being single but I'll embrace that now. Being single is a lot easier than dealing with the bs I've put up with in the duration of this relationship. It gets lonely sometimes being single but that's easier to deal with than regret and always ranking last.

Because of all this, he leaves two weeks later than planned and not only did it F up my vacation, it messed with plans I had with other people.

It did put a couple of things into perspective. I am always happiest when doing the things I love and I should never be with someone who won't take the time to do things I like even if they don't totally like it. It changes me and I become a shell of who I really am. Also, as much as I complain about my old folks and they drive me nuts, I know they love me and I love them. And I know that if anything terrible happened in which I would have to be hospitalized, my 80 year old crippled, seemingly always sick mother would find her way to me and never, ever leave my side. She would pray over me with her rosary and her million Santa Marias willing me to get better. And if she couldn't, she would send someone and she'd make sure that person got there and they gave constant reports on my progress. And I know that with every fiber of my being. His family left him to rot in a hospital 3,000 miles away. And being the good Catholic girl I was raised to be, I made daily visits despite the hurt and sadness and betrayal...because my mom taught me compassion and good manners. That's not to say I didn't spend my visits bereting him and hating his family with every fiber of my being. Because...they lied to me too and put me in a very bad position. And for all that, they can take a flying leap. I regret every minute I spent stitching gifts for them and that may make me seem like an indian giver but they are truly undeserving...of my time, effort and kindness. You don't leave family cast aside when they need you the most...you just don't!

Now it's time to focus on me. Get back to stitching, catch up with old friends, meet new people, discover a new fitness regime, go to all the summer things I love, learn how to smile again and laugh and find myself again. I can only hope that the last half of 2010 is better than the last year and a half.

If you've stuck with me through all this, I thank you more than you even know. I really appreciate the time taken to comment on my last post and even more the folks who sent me personal emails. You know who you are. It means so much to receive an email that just says "how are you doing...I'm thinking about you". It made me feel less alone and made things a little more bearable.

I promise the next post will be more upbeat! I've done no stitching (ok, a teeny tiny bit) but lots of reading. I'll come back and tell you about that soon.

Until next time...

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

I did not have huge expectations for Valentine's Day this year as *the boy* is still technically unemployed and isn't due his first paycheck until mid-March and he is scraping pennies since his unemployment ran out months ago and EDD is slow on appeals. That's ok. We're going out to a nice dinner thanks to a gift certificate he bought at half-price months and months ago and that's fine by me.

We wakes up *way* before me. This morning, when I got up and went to the front room, I bypassed the kitchen and saw a bouquet of roses, card and small box of chocolates on my dining table. I did a double take and asked how he managed to sneak that stuff in! He snuck clothes into the hallway closet last night and woke up at 7am. While I was sleeping, he snuck into the hallway to change and snuck out of the house and walked to the nearby grocery store! I'm surprised I slept through it all but most nights I sleep with earplugs. What a sneaky boy! He says there were loads of guys out trying to pick out flowers and cards too. Hmmm....
He also said he'll be stuck eating tuna this week! haha Good thing we have a stocked pantry. Neither of us will starve! After slowly waking up, *the boy* made me a pancake breakfast and we headed to Costco. Normally, I need a valium (joking) before or after any Costco run but it was very quiet there today...although I got the usual sticker shock at the register.

It's also time to report on my TUSAL. Here's my jar modeling with our cards.
and a rather dark close-up...notice all the red threads!
I've been gift stitching every spare moment I have. I'm only about 40% done with it but I'm enjoying the process thus far. I'm only showing sneak peeks because the recipient peeks here every so often.
Hope everyone enjoys their day!

Until next time...

P.S. I'm sitting on pins and needles waiting for my delivery from Jill Rensel scheduled for tomorrow. I'll be sure to share my framing soon. So excited!!

The House That I Built

So I'm back a day later that I thought. Let me tell you something...furniture shopping is really tiring!

Friday, we ordered chinese delivery and I stitched my little heart out. I built this house.
This is a sneak peek of part of the gift I am stitching. I think it's cute! The windows need to be backstitched but I am holding off on that until I finish all the cross stitches because I am fearful I'll run out of the Gloriana I am using and all the stores near me are out and let's not even get on the topic of dye-lots, etc. I hope I make it to the end! Hmmm...looking at this pic, I realize I missed a stitch...

Saturday, I made my pitstop at NiaH and had my list with all the fabric, threads, accessories and charts I was looking for and sadly, almost everything I wanted was out of stock! I walked away with this small collection.
Some black belfast for some ornies I will be making later in the year, some WDW for another project I plan to start late Summer and the dowel I think I will be using for the end result of the gift I am making.

And the kicker is that while I was shopping, *the boy* said he was going to go for a walk and I had to remind him not to walk far since we'd do more walking. So I shopped and was pretty much done fast but he hadn't come back yet and so I did more circles around the shop and he still didn't show up. I checked out and you know where I found him?! Asleep in the car!? We'd have gotten a move-on sooner if I had known that! *sigh*

The we hit four furniture shops. We sat down and got up like a million times and by the end of the day, I couldn't bear to get up one more time and was a log on the futon for a good part of the evening. *The boy* fell asleep the minute we got back home and he laid down. How does he do that?! The only times I nap is when I'm sick or incredibly exhausted! I think I am set on a Lane Snuggler and a Flexsteel sofa. I was disappointed to find out Lane doesn't really manufacture Snuggler and stationary sofa combos hence the mixing and matching. I still have more shops and research to do but that's the road I'm headed.

Sunday, I headed out for girly pampering and while I was at Hallmark picking up the month's selections of cards, I came across a display of Peanuts paraphernalia celebrating their 60th Anniversary and came across this cute little trinket. There were 4 to choose from and even though I wanted all of them, this one made me laugh out loud! It has a place of honor in the bookcase.
OK, this is getting pretty long but I have a couple of other things to share.

First off, thank you to everyone who took the time to leave a comment and share in our happiness. *The boy* came by and read all the comments and says thank you for the congratulations and good thoughts. I think he realizes that there were really people everywhere who were rooting for him and us and you all have been a great support system over the past year. For reals! He's also very happy I didn't chuck him off the balcony. haha He doesn't start until the Monday after next as they conclude his background and get things set up for him. His position is an entirely new one...not him replacing someone.

Second, Hillery pointed out I didn't share I am the new moderator to the Mary Wigham USA SAL blog. I didn't want to take away to *the boy's* news. So I'm the new moderator and I'm hoping to get everyone all excited to stitch on their Mary's and share. Of course, I do this transition when I am solely gift stitching and Mary is yelling at me every night. What a contradiction, right?! I am stitching as fast as I can on these gifts so I can return to my Mary. I can't wait! I hope everyone is stitching on their Marys! And if you want to join in on the fun, there's one spot left and I can start up a waiting list if anyone is interested! Just email me and let me know.

Thanks for sticking with me and this long post. I better peel off...I need to draw up *the boy's* to do list (taking full advantage of the time before he starts working full days) and figure out if I owe Uncle Sam and money or he owes me. I betcha...I owe him! And if I can stitch a little bit, that will really round out the day.

Until next time...

288 Days

After 288 days, Dr. House finally said *the boy* can walk unassisted! To say he was ecstatic and I am relieved is an understatement. This has felt like a lost year and he's ready to basically start over for reals this time. Get a job, get a place, have fun and give me back a little space. Me? I'm looking forward to some space and a "normal" dating relationship. I hope it all happens fast! So tired of being patient and playing the "wait and see" card!

Just so happy he can walk normally. 288 days!!! That's a long time! Thanks to everyone who extended good thoughts and healing mojo and put up with my crankiness and whining throughout. Seriously...so appreciated!

To celebrate, we went to San Mateo Prime for a wonderful steak dinner. I am stuffed!! This little restaurant serves out food that is on the same level as House of Prime Rib in the city...without the panache. Salad...yum! Steak...yum! Sides...Yum! Desserts...those can use some work but you're there for steak anyways. The best part is I have leftovers for lunch tomorrow. I *love* leftovers!

Sushi crawl yesterday got cancelled at the last minute. One of my co-workers forgot he had a meeting after work. So bummed! We were both looking forward to it. Instead we just grabbed a quick meal, suffered from food coma and I stitched half-heartedly on my exchange. Finally done with the stitching and will put it aside for a week before doing the assembly. I always dread the finishing part!

Short post today. The extra yarn for *the boy's* mom's scarf arrived so I better get working on that. Off to knit!

Until next time...

Sushi Crawl?

Apparently the masses voted in our favor last night! Yay! Still don't know to what extent the budget cuts will be though since tax revenue will not be seen until April so there's still a little ways to go. It's good that our measures only needed majority...only 9% of the city's population went out to vote! That's kind of sad.

I'll be out of the house all day so no fun crafty pictures. Still working on gifts and I am getting antsy for some selfish stitching. But I will hold strong. I don't have much more to do. I've realized it's hard to juggle three craft forms...stitching, knitting and sewing. With stitching...I'm dying to start a project just for me! With knitting...I sometimes struggle with cast on amount and having enough yarn and did I mention I can't even remember to cast off?! Yea...go me! lol And for sewing...well, it's lots of fun but whereas I was ahead of the game two weeks ago, now I'm behind! Looks like I'll be working on pj pants more often than not for the rest of the week. Wait til you see my fabric! I love it!
Tonight is sushi crawl. A couple of co-workers invited me and *the boy* out for a night of sushi. *The boy* is craving it and I can always use healthy protein. The point of sushi crawl is that you go to three or four places and pick their specialty. One japanese restaurant might be known for their noodles, the other for sashimi and the next for rolls. And we can't forget the japanese dessert place...there are two nearby. One is strictly japanese donuts and the other is full of crepes and japanese centric desserts. I'm looking forward to it! Especially the dessert part! So I'm getting this post in now since I might be in food coma later!!

Tomorrow is *the boy's* follow up with the doctor. We are hoping this is the final doctor's appointment and that Dr. House (as we fondly call him) says *the boy* can walk unassisted because his leg is finally fully healed. He is currently using a cane. You guys have the best healing mojo and kind thoughts so please think good thoughts for him.

For those who sent good thoughts for my sister's surgery, thank you so much! Her surgery was successful! They did the lumpectomy and tested her nearby glands and they came back clear. Thank goodness. She does have to do a round of radiation...something like 25 straight days for 15 minutes a day that doesn't sound pleasant but it sounds like she will be ok. We are very thankful for that.

Go out and enjoy the day!

Until next time...

So Many Topics

So today is supposed to be Tuesday Stitchy Night but I will forgo that tonight because even though I'm getting some stitching done, it's minimal and for an exchange which means no pictures.

With NaBloPoMo, I feel pulled in a lot of directions...topics to talk about and I don't want to tell you everything all at once because, you know, I need to be sure to have enough to talk about to fill 30 posts. Not to mention *the boy* likes the idea of being a guest on the blog and rattled off a short list of topics at me at 7am...when I was still trying to wake up. Be thankful I saved you from his quarter idea. He's all upset that he got stuck with a Canadian quarter and how back East, folks would accept the Canadian Quarter without question as payment but how here, in California, vendors all look at him crazy and think that he's trying to rip them off...of 25 cents. Apparently East Coasters are cool in this scenario and us West Coasters suck. Whatever...move on...get over it.

But I do have to say that sometimes...*the boy* is a big dork. On Sunday, he went to Walgreens to look for something and came back acting all suspicious and secretive. When I asked him what was up, he said he had a surprise and showed me this. This!
I can't believe he brought this home but apparently he thought that since it was 80% off, it was just such a deal. Now, I love Snoopy...but a Snoopy Pumpkin?! What is the world coming too?!

The next day, *the boy* went back to Walgreens to return the things he had bought the day before. I was hoping he'd return the Snoopy Pumpkin but something about at 80% off, it was a final sale. Again, he came with another surprise for me. I was scared!! What if he brought back a Woodstock Squash? I mean, what am I supposed to do with that? But fear not, it was not a Woodstock Squash...it was a nice trio of lined baskets. I was surprised! I liked them and they go with my living room decor.
Yes, *the boy* did good. But then it became clear. He thinks my coffee table/futon area aka stitchy corner is a little out of hand. See for yourself! This doesn't include the area to the side of the futon where I pile my wips.
So I'm to reorganize using the baskets for my stitchy stuff so that the coffee table doesn't look like a tornado hit it. It's a good idea. Maybe, it might make things easier to find since they'll be in "Valerie" baskets he wont touch. Now, he piles all his crap on top of my stuff and I'm always "where is....?"

So apparently, some scary stuff and some cool stuff can be found at Walgreens. I just go there for toiletries and stuff.

It's getting late here and I am anxiously awaiting what the election outcome will be. I hope that everyone went out to vote even if there wasn't any huge stuff on the ballot. For the city I work for, there were hotel and sales tax increases on the ballot. Approving the increases would mean that city services would be safe. Not approving would mean reduced services, brown outs of fire engines, less police officers, furloughs and possibly layoffs. I wonder what the voters decided and what this means for my future job stability. One can only hope that things turn out ok.

I hope you all have a great night...time for me to put some more stitches into my exchange.

Until next time...

Courtesy of *the Boy*

Happy Friday everyone! Oh my, am I looking forward to the moment 5pm rolls around. For some reason the song "School's Out For Summer" just popped into my head. Yea, I guess I feel like that except it's more like "Work's Out For Weekend"! Woo!

I'm stuck at work and I don't have my camera to share anything fun with you all but *the boy* sent me some photos so this post is courtesy of *the boy*. Remember, he's back in Rhode Island at the moment and everywhere else but here, there's Autumn where the leaves turn beautiful colors. I'm amazed by the bright orange, red and yellow leaves. It's stunning what nature can provide. Just wish we would see a little but of this here in SF. Hope you enjoy...


I have an all craft weekend planned. Stitching, knitting and sewing. I am planning on making a pitstop at my LNS, NiaH and my FYS (favorite yarn shop), Imagiknit. I think because Newton is just plain annoying me, I've decided to tackle a little knitting...not to mention I drool over everything I see Staci knit and thus have become a little inspired. I cast on to knit *the boy* a scarf I was supposed to make him last year. Nothing too hard...just a nice texture-y basketweave type pattern. Once patterns have psso and yo and mk in the pattern and require a counter...I get a little frazzled. This will be perfect. I found a pattern online for another texture-y scarf I might make for myself. Just want to scope out yarn at Imagiknit and see what my options might be. But right now, I am really enjoying the knitting!

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend filled with something that makes you happy!

Until next time...

Woo!! It's Friday!

It's about fricking time!

What a week...very busy and non-stop. But it was a good week. I worked out twice and didn't die which is always a good thing and my muscles are still talking to me two days later. Yay...working out does mean less stitching though. That's the sad part.

But I am so happy it's Friday since I have a totally relaxing and self-pampering weekend planned. Lots of tv and videos, lots of stitching, an appointment for a nice facial treatment and possibly a new hairdo; a quick jaunt over to my local street festival; as well as a trip the the LNS and a mellow dinner with a good friend planned. All the makings for a nice weekend. Woo!

Yesterday, I was surprised by these being delivered at work!
A lovely bouquet of 3 dozen mini roses sent to me by *the boy*. How sweet! No special occasion...just because. I gather he misses me...I miss him too. They came in lovely colors of red, apricot, burnt orange and yellow.
See! Pretty! I've put them in a prime spot right next to the tv so I can enjoy them while being a lazy futon potato and watching tv.

So tonight, I plan on catching up on my tv programs...

And reading a little bit of this...
And stitching a little bit more on this...
I hope you all have a wonderful Friday and weekend planned! Enjoy and have fun!

Until next time...

Edited: Oh my...almost forgot. Go check out Patti's blog. She just became a grandma and is having a lovely giveaway to celebrate! Go over and wish her congratulations! You have until 9/4 to put your name in for the draw.

Home Therapy

This week has been pretty rough and I am beat! It was hard...knowing *the boy* was leaving to go 3,000 miles away and having to be the one who in a way pushes him away. We both cried our fair share of tears. Both sad and upset at the hand we've both been dealt. The day he was leaving, he asked if he could leave the next day and I had to be the lucid one and say "no". It was already painful. What good would it be to spend one more day together to only go through the same turmoil and emotions the next day? He made it to Rhode Island ok and he's in a funk already about how hot, humid and rainy it is. Oh no, this does not bode well for my upcoming trip!! I don't handle hot, humid or rainy all that well!

We will be apart for five weeks...until I go out for my vacation.

The last couple of days, I have been feeling sad and mopey. No longer is that 6'2" figure on sticks crutching around or chirping in my ear or feeding me. It's quiet...but the quiet is also nice. I haven't felt motivated enough to start my fitness regime. Comfy pants, futon, tv remote and lounging is more my style when I feel blue. I also become restless so it's hard to focus on anything. But these are the things that help me get happy.
My tv remote, netflix, a stitchy project, my current book and a nice beverage. Oops...forgot to put netflix in the picture but you get the idea. All sorts of relaxing type stuff. As you can see...I'm very close to another mini happy dance. Only the border left to stitch on my November block and then I only have one. more. block. to. stitch. OMG...I can't believe I made it this far especially after my whole border derailment! Once this project is done, I am most likely adding the Newton's baby announcement and Mary Wigham to the rotation. Poor Fairy Moon will have to wait a little longer until I can fully concentrate on her.

Ok...going to go finish that border tonight! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Until next time...

Tuesdays Are My Stitchy Night

Thanks the wonderful and supportive comments on my last post. *The boy* and I are handling the news well and getting things into gear. I have my moments of feeling blue and that usually makes stitching hard. I can't really stitch if I'm all bummed out. I sleep more and try to wacth tv or read.

Sooo...with that being said, I've only made a little bit of progress on my BC Snappers shown below. I was happy to work with a color other than green for a bit but am back to the green since I had to use it for the stem and am just getting the border out of the way for now. It is also time for the Totally Useless SAL reporting. Seriously...where does the time go?! Here's my progress so far. It always seems like I haven't been doing any stitching when I see a picture of my jar! But you can see the green with a little orange sprinkled on top. Those have been the main colors lately.
And a picture *the boy* took. I told him to play photographer while I was at work so he provided the photos for this post. He liked seeing the fog rolling in. Means no whining on his part about how the apartment is so hot but I love me some fog and will always welcomingly accept it.
*The boy* booked his ticket and leaves next Tuesday night...so it will not be a stitchy night and I will be taking a break from "regular programming". I'm a bit sad, a bit happy, a bit tired and a bit apprehensive about the whole thing but I know that I will be keeping myself busy between work, housesitting and finding the motivation to get back into a healthy portion/good exercise regime while he is gone (and not trying to plump me up like a thanksgiving turkey!). I'll be heading out for a visit at the end of August. Even scored a $99 (each way) fare to Boston. Cheap!! So I am excited about visiting a bit of the world I haven't seen and discovering what stitchy goodness I can discover there. I already know and have been warned I will be eating my way through the tri-state area. May as well lose those 10 pounds now so I can gain them back later! Haha!

Again, thanks for the support and giving me a virtual shoulder to cry on and vent my frustrations. I greatly appreciate it and promise more stitchy progress soon!

Until next time...

News...Not So Good

The title says it all. The news from the doctor was not so good.

The bone stimulation machine is working but very, very slowly.

The verdict: eight more weeks on crutches and to continue using the bone stimulation machine.

*The boy* will be buying his plane ticket to spend 6 weeks of that time back home in Rhode Island.

It was not the news we wanted to hear but we are trying to look at the upside. He gets to spend time with family and be coddled by the mom. I get some time to myself and a little space back from the constant togetherness I was so not ready for. Plus, I have a reason to see what Rhode Island is all about. I've never been to the East Coast before so this will be my first taste of it. If anyone has some cool needlework shop recommendations around Rhode Island, Massachusetts or New York, let me know! I'll be going to visit sometime next month.

If things have not healed at the end of these eight weeks...surgery...and it all starts over again. Yea...not so good.

Thanks for hanging in there with me and sending your good thoughts my way. We both appreciate whatever good mojo people have to offer. Lots of hugs to everybody!

I'll probably be offline for the next few days...to you know...let it all sink in. Despite resigning myself to this before the appointment, it's all just a little sad.

Until next time...

Tuesdays Are My Stitchy Night

Usually...

Except for tonight...

Because we're having a heatwave...again.

I received emails from *the boy* all day about how hot it was in the apartment and how he was "melting into a puddle" and just basically hot, tired, grumpy and dying to be anywhere else than home because it was just too hot. I felt for him. It gets really hot in my apartment during heatwaves and I don't have any air conditioning. I'm lucky to work in aircon all day!

So after work, I picked him up and took him to the mall. He needed some basic boy necessities and I needed girlie moisturizing stuff. So we went to do the necessary errands and relish in air conditioning. *The boy* was so happy to be out of the house and go to the mall...he was actually waiting for me all ready at the curb. He *hates* shopping but I guess he hates the heat even more! So he bought boy stuff and I bought my girl stuff plus...a pair of very nice heels. I didn't have any interview, nice night out, potential funeral basic black heels and so I invested in some really nice ones. And after the shopping *the boy* treated me to CPK and frozen yogurt.

So we were successful in our attempt to shop and cool off but I couldn't keep to my Tuesday stitchy agenda. Oh well...I only managed to stitch some plain border. Not exciting enough to warrant a picture. Perhaps later this week.

*The boy's* follow up appointment is Thursday. He is dreading it...a tad scared to hear any more potential bad news. Please think happy thoughts for him. We'd both appreciate it.

Hope you're all staying cool and relishing in air-con...that's if you're in heatwave mode like us.

Until next time...

Tuesdays Are My Stitchy Night

No pictures and no real progress to share since my last post. I've continued the border up to the March block but have until September to do and am trying to intermix threads from different skeins of Dried Thyme to make the new border section blend more with the old border section. To be honest...it's kind of a pain in the a**, but that's ok. The border actually goes pretty fast.

Last night was fairly disappointing. *The boy* lost his contracting gig and he is back to square one...again. It's really frustrating to me because all I've known is this really nice guy who tells me he can take care of himself but it's something I haven't really seen in the 10 months I've been seeing him. So I'm cranky and frustrated and annoyed and pretty much running on fumes in the patience department. He's frustrated because his bad luck is running amock for some reason and he is still stuck on crutches. So again...we had the conversation about the *what if's* surrounding his upcoming doctor's appointment.

What if the doctor says the healing is coming along and he's off the crutches? He stays and goes to every interview he can to find another job and move out of my place to get his own place. I am craving space and frankly, to go from crazy serial dater who is strongly independent to immediate live-in, practically marriage with no chance at having an entire day to myself in my own apartment is killing me. Like seriously. It's too much at one time. I'm surprised I haven't gone running to the hills screaming.

What if the doctor says the leg is not healing? *The boy* is getting on a plane back to the east coast to spend time with family and have a stronger support system. As much as I have done, *I* am the only one who has done anything. His friends deserted him when he needed the most help and I'm pretty much at the end of my rope and super pissed at his friends that I can spit nails! So, he would leave until it either healed or after any surgery he might need and he says he'll come back to SF. Frankly, after this whole scenario, I'm too wiped out to even think about jumping on the dating bandwagon for a really long time. If anything, I'll have plenty of time to stitch!

I'm hoping to distract myself enough to not think about the *what if's* until next Thursday so maybe I'll actually get some good progress done on this border before the start of the weekend.

On a happier note, Violarium and Patti are both having giveaways next week. Hurry and take a look on my sidebar before time runs out! Good luck...

Hope everyone is having a good start to their week!

Until next time...

Tuesdays Are My Stitchy Night

So Tuesday came and went and I did manage to get a little bit of stitching done but I can't show you what I've been stitching since it's for an exchange. No sneak peeks...sorry! I still have one more week to get this exchange in the mail and there is still so much I want to add. I have the front done. Still need to stitch a back and I wanted to stitch another little something before sending it far, far away. I really want to get the exchange done by this weekend so I can work on the QFRR before my so-called vacation next week.

Even though there are no stitchy pictures, I have other pictures to share. Over the weekend, *the boy* and I went to Costco. He has an unhealthy addiction to blueberries. Yes, I know blueberries are healthy but with as many as he eats, he should be a Boy Smurf by now! Jeezus! Costco is cheap...2 pounds of blueberries for $6. So we walked out with 8 pounds worth. Why? Because we are crazy!! To be honest, we froze about 5 pounds for baking throughout the year and the rest...*the boy* will probably eat without a problem. At Costco, I saw a bunch of bright pink peonies. I love peonies and have been inspired by bloggers who actually have real peonies growing in their garden. Living in a 3rd floor apartment, there is no such thing as "garden"! I bought a bunch and they opened up so fast! They are a bright splash of color in my living room. The next day, *the boy* crutched over to the farmers' market and bought be lilys. He came home with three abundant stems sticking out of his backpack. I decided to just arrange them with the peonies and ta-da! It's a lot of pink but it's a fun arrangement...If I only had some baby's breath or greens, it's be just perfect!
*The boy* had his birthday a few weeks ago and this tee shirt was part of his birthday present (along with a very nice leather wallet and dinner at his favorite restaurant). I bought the tee shirt as a joke because I call him "dorkasaurus" all the time! *The boy* is truly a dork and he sometimes frustrates me which leads me to exclaim "gawd, you are such a dorkasaurus. Shut up!" Well, lo and behold, they actually sell this tee shirt. *The boy* loves it and will sometimes wear it out in public! OMG, how embarrassing! I truly meant it as a jokey house shirt. I thought I'd show you guys the dorkasaurus.
And here is *the boy's* travel around accessories. Lovely crutches aren't they?! He's going on 5 months on crutches. We are hoping that he won't have to hit the 6-month mark on them. It makes doing fun summer stuff like concerts and festivals really, really difficult. And before I forget, the new moon was on Monday so I am reporting my TUSAL a couple of days late. The snips are still pretty low in my jar even though I feel like I was stitching up a storm (per my standards anyways)!Mostly what shows up on top are the red, white and green bits from the Christmas in July exchange I am working on. Below that are the browns from my ABC Lessons.
I hope everyone had a nice weekend. Mine was mainly errands, resting, baking (unsuccessful recipe at that) and car shopping. I have my top 2 cars from a car make I wasn't even considering. Go figure! Still more looking around to though.

Have a wonderful week!

Until next time...

Tuesdays Are My Stitchy Night

Well, I'm writing my Tuesday update one night early. I had plans tonight to go out with a friend but at the last minute she asked me if I could postpone to Tuesday night so I'll be having a juicy burger, fries and beer and following that up with a movie. Umm, this will not help my quest to lose 10 pounds but I promise to take a walk after work each day thereafter. I swear!

This weekend involved a lot of sleep and rest so I didn't get a lot of stitching done but I did manage to make it to the end of the row I was working on on my ABC Lessons. So I finished off the D, E, F and G row. I am loving this project!!
I will have to put ABC Lessons aside for the time being to work on some smalls. I'd like to get as much done on Wishful Sheep to see what I'll need to order since I know I will run out of some of the silk. I decided to sign up for the HoE Christmas in July Exchange and need to get started on that for my partner and I am dying to start on Barbara Ana's Spring biscornu. It's such a fun and whimsical design and I figure it's something I would like for myself and can learn how to put together a biscornu all at the same time. I have everything for those two smalls kitted up...just need to sit down and stitch!

In the photo above, you can see my orts jar. It's the new moon and here is the progress on my jar for the Totally Useless SAL. I decided to just put thread ends in my jar. I think the fabric bits and floss tags will clutter up the jar too much so my jar still looks pretty empty. Most of the threads contributed lately have been from my giveaway scissor fob and my ABC Lessons project.
Hmmm, maybe I should throw in those floss tags and fabric bits after all! I wish I could stitch faster to get this jar more full!

Well, that's about it for me as I have a pest of a boyfriend who keeps trying to distract me while I blog. But before I leave, the lovely CarolR is having a scissor fob giveaway! She made them herself and there will be three lucky winners! How cool is that?!? I've posted a picture with link on my right sidebar. Go and have a looksie. All you have to do is sign up by 5/29 and do a little shoutout about the giveaway on your own blog. Easy! Good luck to everyone!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday weekend and has a nice week ahead. I have a fairly easy week but busy weekend coming up. My parents leave for their annual four-month trip to Central America and *the boy* has his birthday on the very same day...next Sunday. I'll be busy bon-voyaging and happy birthdaying. Why'd it have to fall on the same day!? Anyways, not sure how much stitching or posting I'll get done in the next week but I'll definitely have an update afterwards.

Until next time...

Seven Stages of Grief

Each time *the boy* goes to the doctor, I get thrown into a turmoil of emotions.

Shock = What?! Jawdrops to the floor and I wonder if the doctor actually said what I think I heard.

Pain and Guilt = I feel bad that I am taking things worse than *the boy* and I wonder if I hadn't fought with him that day, he wouldn't have gone to North Beach and gotten assaulted.

Anger = Resent being thrust into the role of caretaker for this guy I had only been dating for 4 months and at this point he's been well the same amount of time as he's been broken. Shoot, all I really wanted out of this relationship was basic dating fun...dinners out, see a few shows, have someone to go out and do stuff with. This relationship is *a lot* of fricking work!! I'm quite tired. I think I've bent over backwards for *the boy* considering the circumstances and most people think I'm the most amazing girlfriend but it's hard to feel amazing amongst all the anger and resentment.

Depression: Between madness at work, madness with family and dealing with a broken boyfriend who has the worst luck ever and I am convinced is jinxed or that someone has a voodoo doll in his likeness stuck with a gazillion pins locked in some drawer somewhere, it is quite hard to keep a positive attitude. In fact, my attitude has gotten quite negative, snarky and completely downright annoyed. I try to stay home to not subject the public with the bad luck that is my life as of late.

Right now, I am stuck between anger and depression.

Upward turn, reconstruction and acceptance will follow soon.

If you haven't guessed yet, *the boy* recent doctor appointment did not go well. His leg is not healing and he has to remain on crutches for another 8 weeks which would hit the six month mark. He is allowed to put 40 pounds worth of weight on his leg which is only 1/5th his weight so it's not like 40 pounds is a lot but at least it's something. He is also going to start using a bone stimulation machine to see if the electrical impulses will help prod along his bone growth.

Eight. More. Weeks. Just shoot me now.

If the bone isn't healed after six months, he will be put into a program monitoring his progress each month for the following three months. Ummm, that would be another three months of the same crutching around crap.

After nine months, if that goddamn bone hasn't healed, he has to go in for bone grafting surgery. Yea...that's not good. Worse case scenario.

This is way more than I signed up for. Remember...me...dating...dinner out and stuff...shows...happy hours...movies...festivals...walks around the neighborhood. That is my life! Not this caretaking, multiple errand running, super chauffering life I've been roped into. I'm at a complete loss of what I should do.

Tuesdays Are My Stitchy Night

Another Tuesday and I'm not in the best of moods. Honestly, I'm pouty, whiny and so incredibly tired and stressed but I won't really get into it. Work has been kicking me in the tushie with all sorts of problematic projects and I sit at my desk daydreaming of long, relaxing vacations anywhere but here. It's been two years since my last long vacation. I don't count long weekends as they are so *rush, rush, rush*.

Since my last post, things have been pretty much the norm this past weekend. I pick up *the boy*, we hang out, he cooks, I sleep and then I take him back "home". I think the highlight of the weekend was visiting my parents for Easter and me getting locked inside the bathroom with no way out! I hadn't noticed that the knob was missing until I went to leave. Thank goodness my brother was there so he could bust me out of the bathroom! My parents are quite deaf and *the boy* isn't too mobile so I could have been pounding for a while if he hadn't been there!

The week proved to be too busy for stitching. Below is my progress on the September block of the BC Snappers. Not much but I am almost finished with the block itself. Just the stems and leaf veins to longstitch. I am still in debate over my border and as you can see, I haven't finished the top border for the block yet. I have about 7 skeins of Dried Thyme to pick through and make sure that they are similar enough in color for me to use for the entirety of the project. Since I'll be working on border for a while, things will not look too exciting. I still seem to be in debate as to what my next project will be while I work on this border disaster. So many options and I can't seem to choose!
I do have the feeling that my pick will be Fairy Moon but still debating. I don't think Italy will happen this year after all so there is no pressure to start Letter G. *The boy* is looking for yet another new job. He hasn't lost his current job but things do not look good. Amazing that he is now looking for his third job in six months! Unbelievable!

On an interesting note, next week will mark my four year bloggaversary. Four years! I can't believe it's been that long and to think this little space started off as a venting post for my trials and tribulations in the world of dating. Whoa, the dating world is crazy...especially when you dated and juggled as much as I did! Over the last year or so, it's spun off from dating to crafting. I laugh at that interesting turn. I had high hopes to be a stitching whiz this winter and have something fabulous all made up as a prize for giveaway. I'm quite disappointed that I don't. Apparently, I am still not a hard-core stitchy blogger or I'd be organized for this already! *sigh*

Since I don't have access to a garden, I bring spring indoors. Here are some colorful beauties I brought home from Safeway and Trader Joes! I absolutely love orange tulips and I love to see daffodils opening up. They are both quite cheerful and I display them on top of my TV so I can get the most enjoyment out of them. Aren't they pretty?!
I hope that everyone had a lovely Easter and a nice weekend. I hope to have more stitchy progress later this week...I just don't know on what! :)

Until next time...

Tuesdays Are My Stitchy Night

Yay! Monday was so productive that I made great progress on Edgar's QFRR. I only had 60 stitches or so left to do by the end of the night and I finished those easily this afternoon. Here is the section that I stitched on his RR.
And here is his RR as it stands in all it's glory. As you can see, my section is the one on the upper right. Only one more section to go!

Edgar's RR
32 count Lakeside Linens Lentil
Vikki Clayton Raisin Wine and Old Maid of the Soil Silk

I really like how the colors variegate in this piece and it was my first time to stitch with Vikki Clayton silk. It was lovely! After finishing this up and getting a couple of packages together, I debated what to do and I dug out the BC Snappers to continue working on the September block. I didn't get too much done on it so no picture. My thought is to finish the block before tackling the major border repair. I can just feel that the border repair will be tedious and not so fun but I think it will be necessary for me to feel happy about that eventual finish. I haven't had anytime to get to NiaH for fabric for Letter G so I may just start on Fairy Moon. She's all kitted up and has been patiently waiting forever for me to bring her to life. It's such a daunting project as well but I know that once I see her start coming to life, it will bring me lots of happiness and I could use some happy vibes. Stay tuned...I'm sure more pictures will soon follow.

I thought I'd entertain you guys with a little post-it collage *the boy* left for me after the weekend. I guess all my napping inspired him?! Please ignore the mess under the coffee table but this is what I found when I went to sit on my futon to watch tv.
You probably can't read what they say so from L to R: pensive cat, sleepy cat on table, valerie cat with tongue out *smiling* and on the kleenex box: sleepy cat. I thought this was hysterical! I wonder if the sleepy cat on table was inspired by me practically falling asleep into my plate after breakfast?! Hmmmm....

And I guess he thinks I have some wild poufy hair?! And my hair is much longer than chin length! I've no idea but I thought this was just too funny that I had to share. Sorry for the dark pictures...still learning the camera. Hope this made you laugh as much as it made me.

Well, that's it for me...hope you guys are all seeing lots of stitchy progress.

Until next time...

Disappointment

Where to begin. Most of the disappointment revolves around *the boy*. He went in on Thursday for his x-ray and follow up and about 4 doctors crowded around his x-ray with pensive looks on their faces. The diagnosis was six more weeks on crutches. Six.More.Weeks!! *sigh* This was not what we were prepared to hear. In fact, we got the blunt doctor this time who said that 85% of the time, the tibia heals fine but there is a 15% chance that things will not heal fine and then alternative methods go into play. I think we were both too freaked out to find out what the "alternative" might be. Frankly, as pale as I am, I'm sure I grew even paler as my jaw hit the floor. And the blunt doctor also said that in all reality, it would be 3-6 months for the bone to heal. At the end of these additional six weeks, he'll have four months of crutching under his belt.

In addition to being dealt the card of six more weeks of crutching and no-weight bearing, *the boy* found out that his job is not as well-funded as they made themselves out to sound and therefore he will have to endure a 50% paycut for a little while until the company acquires more funding. 50% is a lot of money folks! *The boy* decided it was best to endure the paycut rather than go on unemployment. I agree but he was already getting paid less than his "worth". But hard times call for desperate measures.

And then remember that his "friends" were raising his rent by double starting May 1st?! The original plan was he'd move in with me temporarily while he looked for a cool housing situation. Well, the crutching an additional six weeks + 3 flights of stairs + no carpool options near me = less than ideal situation. When I dropped *the boy* back onto his side of the bay last night, it appears that the "friends" did the honorable thing and extended the lesser rent to him until he was back on his feet. So despite the circumstances, he's decided to take them up on their offer and stick it out over there since the carpool situation there helps him immensely.

Does anyone have a good luck spell that can cast on *the boy*. I mean really!! It seems like there is always some challenge or another.

Frankly, its too much drama for me to deal with. *The boy* seems to be handling this series of events better than me and it's actually happening to him! I don't know what my deal is but I'm feeling rather down and stressed.

I attended the funeral for my friend's dad and it was nice to see everyone, many whom I hadn't seen in years. They are devout Russian Orthodox and it was interesting to see a wake in that culture and how drastically different it is from Catholicism. Even in the saddest of circumstances, you can learn something new.

Most of the weekend, I had a migraine which means I didn't do much stitching and slept a ton. I could sleep another ton seeing as I feel so tired! Since I had a migraine, *the boy* (you know, the one on crutches!) was amazingly productive. He washed my dishes, he made dinner and repotted my plants. Me: I ran the errands for said dinner and potting and then slept and slept and slept. The productivity award goes to *the boy*!

I have only managed to stitch on one more motif on Edgar's QFRR but I have the feeling I can finish it all up tonight. By tomorrow, definitely. I didn't realize it was spring break so that means no yoga this week since I take classes at the local community college. No yoga = more time for stitching! Yay! It's not good news in the fight against the pudge but if the weather holds up, I'll take walks around the neighborhood.

I was also told by *the boy* that I have to get my darn act together and make a schedule and stick to it. *sigh* I've never been good at keeping to a schedule. All this stems from me going to sleep at 1am every night and waking up at 630am every day during the week which obviously isn't enough sleep which then taxes my body and I get these headaches or end up sleeping the entire weekend and moving at the same pace as a tortoise. Kind of bad for a 33 year old. Plus, for as late as I stay up, I haven't been getting very much stitching done. And then I complain very loudly about how I am not getting any stitching done and I go further into my funk. So I'll be playing around with a new schedule that will allow me more stitching time and get me to sleep earlier. We'll see how things go! Today we start....looking forward to more stitching and more sleeping!

No pictures today but come back tomorrow! :)

Until next time...

Tuesdays Are My Stitchy Night

Another week and now we're already in April! Time is just flying by! I promise not to be "the voice of gloom" in this post as I'm quite tired of delivering sad or bad news.

Over the weekend I managed to finish the stitching on my CCN Peace Ornament. I used the recommended fabric and threads and I do have to say...it's kind of big for an ornament. I think I'd have been better off on 32 or 36 count but that's ok. It was a nice transitionary project to work on to help me get out of my stitching slump and I like how it came out. I didn't have time to actually finish this into an ornament but that will have to be a project for another day!

CCN Peace Ornament, JCS 2007
28 count Lakeside Linens Patina
Recommended DMC

I've diligently been working on Edgar's QFRR the past couple of nights. Excuse the photo but I was too lazy to take it out of the q-snap and it's little cozy to take a proper snap. You get the gist though. I had really wanted to finish that one motif but it got too late to keep my eyes open. You can tell I only need to put in a few more stitches to finish it and then I have two more large motifs to stitch before I can sent this onto it's next destination. This is the first time I have stitched with Vikki Clayton silk and it is very different than most silk I've worked with. It has very nice coverage...must be premium. Nice! I really like the color combination that Edgar picked which I of course can't remember now but I will report that when I finish my section.

I think that I will be planting my tushie on the futon again tomorrow night to continue work on this QFRR. While at Starbucks today, I tried to sneak past someone to get to the other side of the "condiment bar" and someone jumped back and stepped on my ankle. It's a tad swollen and a little bruised and painful. I might skip yoga since I wonder how well I will do balancing on a painful ankle. Plus, I really want to get this QFRR on it's way since I know another one is coming to me soon and I have loads of stitchy ideas in my head.

Since I've found my mojo, I keep bouncing around ideas as to what my next project will be. I am still working on the BC Snappers but haven't touched them since I discovered my big border mistake of 2009! I must start frogging and repairing the border. Since that seems tedious...I need a fun project. I was thinking about starting the Mirabilia - Letter G as a gift for *the boy's* niece. We've been tossing around the idea of a trip to Italy in October and the neice's birthday is in September so I figure it will be fun and a nice present that she can keep forever! Even if we don't make the trip this year, the gift will be readyfor when we do make the viist and that project seems less daunting than starting Fairy Moon right now. Plus, that gives me the chance to go fabric shopping as that's the only thing I need!

To motivate me a little, I joined Yoyo's Totally Useless SAL. You basically start an orts jar and show your progress on every new moon. So...it's totally easy plus, I'll have a colorful jar at the end of the year of all my orts! Of course, I have to keep stitching to have a colorful jar so stitching I must do! I went to Goodwill to find a cheap jar with lid and found the perfect one and have started to contribute to it tonight with the QFRR scraps.

Here's a cute little tidbit. When my mood is in the dumper, I tend to go into a "I want a pet" phase and since I love dogs but am not allowed to have any in my apartment, I start looking at cats. My favorite being an orange tabby. Now, I've never had a cat before but the idea of a little orange tabby makes me happy and I always think it would be nice to have a cat to pet that purrs and keeps me company. Now, *the boy* has lately been listening to me yap on and on about orange tabbys and looking for totes but not finding any I like and how I am so behind on stitching and need to carry my stuff around with me to maximize project output. Poor guy...he's been getting an earful! So, yesterday, I opened my mailbox and found a "surprise" package with this tote inside! *The boy* was browsing around on CafePress and saw this and thought it might cheer me up and it did. It was a very sweet gesture! It's not my usual taste seeing as my other tote is all *i heart goth* but it's growing on me. Insert *awww* here! =)
*The boy* has his follow up x-ray on Thursday. Think happy thoughts!

Hope you all had a fabulous weekend and you have a fun and stitchy week.

Until next time...