I think I will have to put the idea of bi-monthly date nights and Mendocino weekend on hold for now. When I got home on Monday, after posting my vent post, I got home to find *the boy* waiting for me with a glass of wine. Sometimes this practice is a sweet gesture and other times, it's to liquor me up before spilling some bad news. I really couldn't take it at that point and just asked what had happened. Well, after working at the new place for two weeks, he had to present a proposal with suggestions on how the company was to move forward with the project he was hired to do. He presented the proposal, they didn't like it and they fired him on the spot. Oh, excuse me...they let him go because they "didn't think it was going to work out". I suppose that is the more genteel way of saying my original statement.
The Eff?!
I don't understand why this whole getting a job and keeping a job is so hard for *the boy*. I don't. He's super smart about business stuff. He has worked for big name companies and is very well connected. He likes the start-up environment which is risky and unstable. I keep telling him to look for a big, established company that can offer more stability but then, in this market...there isn't very much that is stable. But I have a real problem with how business is done nowadays. In the time I've known *the boy*, he's had 4 jobs that have all ended up being short term. The first company ran out of money and was probably connected to the Russian Mafia, the second was run by a crazy woman (I can say this since I actually met her) and it went bankrupt, the third was a temp job that was run 99% by women and I don't think they really wanted men in the business and the fourth apparently didn't like the proposal and didn't feel like working together was possible. What is with the one shot and you're out?! Are we stuck in some real-life version of The Apprentice? Fore reals... how do people conduct business this way? Not to mention wasting a month and a half interviewing and doing the paperwork to bring someone on only to let them go 2 weeks later. It is ridiculous!
So I'm even more bummed out which has led to stash therapy via online stash shopping. At least I'm stitching...but very little.
A part of me wonders if it's *the boy* or if it's business. Either way, I'm frustrated. At least I see that *the boy* is driven to find another job and as I type, he's at an interview. That's good but he needs to find something that will last longer than two weeks otherwise, the days of this relationship will become numbered and fast. My happiness really lies in him being able to take care of himself and that includes having his own job that brings in money. I have enough of my own things, not to mention the old folks, to worry about without him adding his mountain to my molehill.
Thanks to all the lovely supportive comments I got on my last post. I had meant to reply to many but my energy level was at an all-time low all week. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. My plans are quite low-key...farmer's market, visit with the old folks because my mom is bribing me to visit by making homemade chicken soup which I love, massage and a little stitching. I've managed to stitch a little more on Boo Club. I'm on the fourth section which I want to finish so I can catch up to the end of April since I have more gift stitching to do.
I'm half-tempted to drag *the boy* to church to thrown some holy water on him and make him light a candle at St. Jude's alter. He didn't appreciate the reference of him being a lost cause but hey, it can't hurt, right?
okiedoke, until next time...
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Friday, March 12, 2010
Monday, March 08, 2010
In a Funk...
I've been in a funk since the beginning of the year and with the tide, the funk ebbs and flows. Lately, it's been flowing. I just feel like things have immensely changed over a short period of time. That's probably not *really* the case but all of a sudden, I'm aware and I feel like the lives of those around me are progressing and moving forward while mine is at a standstill. Marriages, pregnancies, births, home-buying, new jobs. How come exciting stuff isn't happening to me?! I know, I should be happy for them but I'm sad and jealous because I feel a retreat from them. I'm not married, I don't want children, I haven't got enough money to even come close to buying a condo, let alone a house in the area I live and whereas I would love a new and exciting job in the arts, I've got 6 more months to become vested in the job I currently have and I would like to become vested because come 65+, I'm sure I'll appreciate the extra stipend.
And I feel like time is a-wasting. I turn 35 and for some reason, it may as well be 40! Not that there is anything wrong with 40 but I really thought that by the time I was 35, my life would be established. I thought I'd be married with a couple of kids in a cute, old Victorian-style house. Somewhere, the train de-railed. I've wasted a year waiting for *the boy* to get better from an injury that was supposedly only going to take 6 weeks to heal. Six weeks...what a laugh! And I waited and helped out like a dutiful girlfriend. I did the right thing...but sometimes I question if it was the right thing for me. And I've talked about this stuff with *the boy* and he knows where I stand. There's no embarrassment in me putting my words to blog because it's not news to the characters in this real-life play. He's upset at the circumstances and everything I've gone through for him and he doesn't feel like I've wasted my time and he says he'll make it all up to me. *The boy* loves me. But I've lost any grain of patience I've had just waiting for his circumstances to change. So now that they have...I want everything to happen right now...like right this very second! What do you mean I have to wait even longer!? Of course, the alternative would be to go our separate ways and I know that won't make me happy either. Ugh, have you seen the characters on Match? No? Well I peeked just to see and trust me, I don't want to touch any of that with a ten-foot pole! *The boy* says this is the year for changes and great things will happen. I hope they are great, exciting things and not great, tragic things because I can't take anymore bad. I need fun happy things to happen to blow away that great big Eeyore cloud that is hovering over my head.
So we'll have fancy date nights 2x a month for now and a planned Mendocino weekend trip in May. Let's see if I can make it that far. Frankly, I think I need a 2-week vacation to completely de-stress my mind from all the drama over the last year and a half. But I guess I'll take a long weekend for now.
And onto the kids thing...everyone thinks that the fact I don't want children is odd. And now that my friends are starting to have kids, I feel like there's a disconnect because I'm the nutjob who doesn't like kids. I like kids enough...I just don't want to have any. The older I get, the less I want to have a child because I don't want to be like my parents. My parents were 47 and 45 when they had me. That was old back then to be having kids. My parents were the oldest amongst my friends and they were old school, strict parents who wouldn't let me out of their sight. It was tiring and frustrating. Everyone thought they were my grandparents. Try having to explain this over and over. It's kind of embarrassing. Plus, I was in a parental care role by the end of high school and still have to take care of their things to a certain extent. In a way, I feel like my childhood was stunted. I suppose the norm now is to have kids later in life once your career is established but if I were to have a kid, I'd have wanted it to happen earlier and now, I'd much rather travel the world.
So, I'm in a funk. I wonder what to do to get out of it. I think I should meet more people but for the most part, most people my age are busy being married and raising their kids. I wonder where the old cranky spinsters go hang out? And can you show up in your pj's and with your tv remote? I don't know.
With the funk, there is less desire to blog because I just don't feel chatty. I have stuff to talk about though...like going to the White Elephant Sale and grabbing some finds. Maybe if I get another burst of the chatty, I'll share sooner rather than later. But I may be posting less for a little bit. I hoping the funk ebbs again soon...it's rather affecting my stitching production too.
Thanks for sticking with me during this blathery post.
Until next time...
And I feel like time is a-wasting. I turn 35 and for some reason, it may as well be 40! Not that there is anything wrong with 40 but I really thought that by the time I was 35, my life would be established. I thought I'd be married with a couple of kids in a cute, old Victorian-style house. Somewhere, the train de-railed. I've wasted a year waiting for *the boy* to get better from an injury that was supposedly only going to take 6 weeks to heal. Six weeks...what a laugh! And I waited and helped out like a dutiful girlfriend. I did the right thing...but sometimes I question if it was the right thing for me. And I've talked about this stuff with *the boy* and he knows where I stand. There's no embarrassment in me putting my words to blog because it's not news to the characters in this real-life play. He's upset at the circumstances and everything I've gone through for him and he doesn't feel like I've wasted my time and he says he'll make it all up to me. *The boy* loves me. But I've lost any grain of patience I've had just waiting for his circumstances to change. So now that they have...I want everything to happen right now...like right this very second! What do you mean I have to wait even longer!? Of course, the alternative would be to go our separate ways and I know that won't make me happy either. Ugh, have you seen the characters on Match? No? Well I peeked just to see and trust me, I don't want to touch any of that with a ten-foot pole! *The boy* says this is the year for changes and great things will happen. I hope they are great, exciting things and not great, tragic things because I can't take anymore bad. I need fun happy things to happen to blow away that great big Eeyore cloud that is hovering over my head.
So we'll have fancy date nights 2x a month for now and a planned Mendocino weekend trip in May. Let's see if I can make it that far. Frankly, I think I need a 2-week vacation to completely de-stress my mind from all the drama over the last year and a half. But I guess I'll take a long weekend for now.
And onto the kids thing...everyone thinks that the fact I don't want children is odd. And now that my friends are starting to have kids, I feel like there's a disconnect because I'm the nutjob who doesn't like kids. I like kids enough...I just don't want to have any. The older I get, the less I want to have a child because I don't want to be like my parents. My parents were 47 and 45 when they had me. That was old back then to be having kids. My parents were the oldest amongst my friends and they were old school, strict parents who wouldn't let me out of their sight. It was tiring and frustrating. Everyone thought they were my grandparents. Try having to explain this over and over. It's kind of embarrassing. Plus, I was in a parental care role by the end of high school and still have to take care of their things to a certain extent. In a way, I feel like my childhood was stunted. I suppose the norm now is to have kids later in life once your career is established but if I were to have a kid, I'd have wanted it to happen earlier and now, I'd much rather travel the world.
So, I'm in a funk. I wonder what to do to get out of it. I think I should meet more people but for the most part, most people my age are busy being married and raising their kids. I wonder where the old cranky spinsters go hang out? And can you show up in your pj's and with your tv remote? I don't know.
With the funk, there is less desire to blog because I just don't feel chatty. I have stuff to talk about though...like going to the White Elephant Sale and grabbing some finds. Maybe if I get another burst of the chatty, I'll share sooner rather than later. But I may be posting less for a little bit. I hoping the funk ebbs again soon...it's rather affecting my stitching production too.
Thanks for sticking with me during this blathery post.
Until next time...
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Apartment Living
Are you ready for a rant? Ugh! Apartment living can be so frustrating at times. This weekend...all I wanted was a quiet, lazy, stay in my jammies and watch bad tv while stitching type of weekend.
When I want quiet...I *really* want quiet. But my neighbors weren't cooperating.
Saturday was the guy across the hall blaring Joan Jett around 8pm. Like BLARING!!! There is an apartment between us and I could hear the lyrics perfectly! I feel bad for the girl who lives between us. How can she deal?! I'd be having a nervous breakdown! Dude, turn down the music! Now, I love Joan Jett but I don't appreciate being forced to listen to her when I want to watch Criminal Minds and actually listen to the tv show. At least he has the sense to turn the music off at 10pm.
Now the people below me are the worst. They've been bad since I moved in and I complained about them three years ago. They are almost as inconsiderate as the college girls I lived above at my old place. I'd be more forgiving if they were college aged instead of the married 30=40 something married couple that they actually are. They've been playing two-beat bassy music all weekend. You know, the kind of music that is migraine-inducing. As I shuffled off to bed at 2am (yes, very late), they proceeded to head to the bedroom as well and have a loud argument/discussion which made me bang on the floor a few times and then resort to earplugs. Living here, I am completely dependant on earplugs because 1. they are loud, irritating night owls and 2. the dude snores so loud you can probably hear him on the East Coast! They drive me insane. In the 4 years I've lived here, I've never said anything to them since this is a consequence of apartment living but today, I had it! The loud music at 330pm was driving me insane. I couldn't escape it. Every room...bassy music. My head was starting to hurt. I wrote them a note, slipped it under their door, came upstairs, hopped into the shower and when I came out...silence. It was beautiful! They'll probably be loud and annoying tomorrow but I'm glad I "said" something. I'm way too shy to knock on their door and tell them off but oh, how I want to! I'd like to give the dude a brochure for a sleep clinic because seriously....can you hear him over there? He is fricking loud! He'll wake me up in the middle of the night and I'm not even in the same room!
My neighbors drive me insane! I love my apartment though. It's beautiful and when my neighbors aren't driving me batty by being loud, it's seriously my sanctuary. Arches, french doors, hardwood floors, high ceilings, loads of closet space...it's beautiful. But I sometimes daydream about moving to a little cottage or duplex to minimize the number of neighbors and hence noise but that would cost me at least $400 a month more than my rent now and well, that's a lot. So...I guess for now...I'll buy stock in earplugs and Excedrine Migraine. It's cheaper.
Fricking neighbors!!
Stitching has been successful though. I finished Christmas Tea and organized my meager collection of DMC. I also got some lovely christmas surprises in the mail and even got complimented on my obnoxious glitter red nail polish. So it was not a loss! It's late, dark and rainy tonight and I won't even try to take pictures. I'll save them for next time.
I'm off to try my hand at a couple christmas ornies for last minute presents. Better go make my fabric selection!
Until next time...
When I want quiet...I *really* want quiet. But my neighbors weren't cooperating.
Saturday was the guy across the hall blaring Joan Jett around 8pm. Like BLARING!!! There is an apartment between us and I could hear the lyrics perfectly! I feel bad for the girl who lives between us. How can she deal?! I'd be having a nervous breakdown! Dude, turn down the music! Now, I love Joan Jett but I don't appreciate being forced to listen to her when I want to watch Criminal Minds and actually listen to the tv show. At least he has the sense to turn the music off at 10pm.
Now the people below me are the worst. They've been bad since I moved in and I complained about them three years ago. They are almost as inconsiderate as the college girls I lived above at my old place. I'd be more forgiving if they were college aged instead of the married 30=40 something married couple that they actually are. They've been playing two-beat bassy music all weekend. You know, the kind of music that is migraine-inducing. As I shuffled off to bed at 2am (yes, very late), they proceeded to head to the bedroom as well and have a loud argument/discussion which made me bang on the floor a few times and then resort to earplugs. Living here, I am completely dependant on earplugs because 1. they are loud, irritating night owls and 2. the dude snores so loud you can probably hear him on the East Coast! They drive me insane. In the 4 years I've lived here, I've never said anything to them since this is a consequence of apartment living but today, I had it! The loud music at 330pm was driving me insane. I couldn't escape it. Every room...bassy music. My head was starting to hurt. I wrote them a note, slipped it under their door, came upstairs, hopped into the shower and when I came out...silence. It was beautiful! They'll probably be loud and annoying tomorrow but I'm glad I "said" something. I'm way too shy to knock on their door and tell them off but oh, how I want to! I'd like to give the dude a brochure for a sleep clinic because seriously....can you hear him over there? He is fricking loud! He'll wake me up in the middle of the night and I'm not even in the same room!
My neighbors drive me insane! I love my apartment though. It's beautiful and when my neighbors aren't driving me batty by being loud, it's seriously my sanctuary. Arches, french doors, hardwood floors, high ceilings, loads of closet space...it's beautiful. But I sometimes daydream about moving to a little cottage or duplex to minimize the number of neighbors and hence noise but that would cost me at least $400 a month more than my rent now and well, that's a lot. So...I guess for now...I'll buy stock in earplugs and Excedrine Migraine. It's cheaper.
Fricking neighbors!!
Stitching has been successful though. I finished Christmas Tea and organized my meager collection of DMC. I also got some lovely christmas surprises in the mail and even got complimented on my obnoxious glitter red nail polish. So it was not a loss! It's late, dark and rainy tonight and I won't even try to take pictures. I'll save them for next time.
I'm off to try my hand at a couple christmas ornies for last minute presents. Better go make my fabric selection!
Until next time...
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